Thursday, July 12, 2007

Remembering all the dates you went on

Recently, I’ve been thinking about all my dates I’ve been on since I started and how many of them I’ve been on. The problem is I am having trouble remembering. When I began dating, I thought ill be all organized so when I get married I can have proof of how many and which girls I’ve dated and show it to my future wife. Naturally, after about a year or two of dating, I began getting lazy or forgetting to upgrade my list of names, and eventually not entering any new names to the list. This list also helped me remember if I get matched up with a girl I already dated so I don’t redate them. I’m not really in the mood of doubles, if it didn’t work the first time, I doubt it will work the second time. Recently, it has been a little bit easier remembering the girls I dated because of facebook. I or her usually friend each other even if its only one date. But then again not everyone is on there.

So I began recreating a list at work of all the girls I went out with. I tried remembering them by name; but that wasn’t going too happened. I tried remembering them by the person who set me up, I was able to recall a few. I tried thinking of all the different places I’ve been too and tried to remember them by that, I was able to pick up a few more. But I know im still missing a bunch. Am I evil for not knowing the girls I went out with? Its not even like I went out with a huge number, I am sure it’s about average or below average number of girls of what someone my age have gone out with. According to my IT lady, who by accident needed my computer out of the blue and noticed my worksheet open and said “wow – impressive’. But little does she know the way frum jewish people or the way I date. Most of those were 1 or 2 dates and not even sure why I went out with them. Do most people remember all the girls (or guys if you’re a girl) they have gone out with. Oh well.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

1) Are you sure this isn't merely an exercise in boosting your ego?

2) Your (g-d willing) future wife is NOT going to want to hear about how many girls you dated, where you dated them or even what you did or didn't like about them. If you want shalom bias, just make her feel like she's the best thing that ever happened to you, and because of her the others are all wiped out of your memory.

jenn said...

I havent dated many guys at all and i seriously dont remember the names of prob 75% and i dont remember what like 60% look like or what we did...i have a great ability to block out unpleasant experiences

~ Sarah ~ said...

like, jenn i choose to forget most of the bad dates i've been on. but i do keep a list, so that i can go back and check so i don't have a repeat. i told one of my friends i keep a list and she thought that was a bit odd but it's a practical thing really. cos you can remember from that list all the things you are not looking for and the things that you liked about people that you would want.

residency year sucks said...

NSF, forget how practical it is, I think that you have to much free time on your hand i.e. starting a spreadsheet at the office. As for me I just take in how different women look (and men, though to a lesser degree) 5-10 years later on in life and wonder to myself if I will still find my wife attractive in another 10 years. I sure hope I do... then again there is always the escapism of the movies

residency year sucks said...

just to clarify I meant any future wife. thanks

rebelwithacause said...

Honestly if the guy was a jerk or had this distinctive thing that he did during our date(s), then I don't forget them. I have dated many guys but don't need a sheet myself.

Anonymous said...

i actually remember each and every one of the girls i have gone out with because there happened to be something distinctive about all of them. Also, i have only gone out with 4 girls. i must say, only 2 of them lasted more than one date. they lasted two dates. and that was 2 dates too many. and if i have learned anything, it is this:
Herpers jokes are never ever funny.

NSF - its fine that you dont remember the girls you went out with. do you remember all of the other people you have met and hung out with for a few hours and then never saw again? this is the same thing. your cool. but it would be pretty funny if you went out with a girl like 5 times and kept saying no because you could never remember her because so unremarkable.

Anonymous said...

hey
previously i meant to say "herpes" not "herpers." what the hell is herpers?

Anonymous said...

to residency year sucks...hopefully if you really love your (future) wife, you'll be attracted to her regardless of "how she looks" and more because of your shared history, the family you're raising together, and the future you will share.

to notsofrummie...thanks for your blog. it's comforting to see that guys are also having frustrations with the shidduch dating "system." you could always move to chicago if you want to remember all the girls you date...because here, you'll run into them on the street all the time! %-}

Notsofrummie said...

Sara has it right. the list can help you learn from your experiences. Initially the point of the list was not to bolster my ego, but after seeing what it appears to be a semi-large number (its totally not if you think it about mathemetically) did give me the wow, but then im like after all that and still not married, the ego left. But those who were just bla, wasnt a horrible and wasnt an awesome and cant remember a damn thing that was spoken about on that date, i forgot fairly quickly.
Those who dont wanna remember the bad dates, i think those are the ones I remember more clearly. The ones that give me more stories to tell over to my friends.

Lance said...

The cliché about it being quality over quantity comes to mind after reading your post. What really counts is that you haven't met the Ms. Right yet. I get sad when I think about how many really bad dates I've been on over the past few years.

flatbushgal said...

i never even thawt about that i just assumed one would remember, i dunno i guess a list is necessary as weird as it seems.

shlomit said...

I remember all those who dumped me.
Cannot remember those I dumped, I know they were few,.
Few guys in my list I will never ever be lucky enough to forget.

And as a women - I wouldn`t mind if my man remembers others or not. Its his own buisness. Innit?

Ro said...

I don't keep a list but I have a good memory which kinda sucks now that I think about it. I wish I could forget half my dating history.

I don't think it's strange to have a list though.

fearandloathinginlakewood said...

I have a habit of renaming the girls I have gone out with nicknames this is fine but really makes it hard remembering there real names when the girl that is suggested is going for speech or physical therapy or school psych....

Jacob Da Jew said...

Well, shidduch dating-wise, I only went out with bout 6 girls before meeting my wife.

But back in da day, when we be chillin' , those I have a hard time remembering their names, heck even what they looked like...

Beer goggles, anyone?

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