Thursday, June 28, 2007

Frummie gals demand references

Im not sure of the number of girls I have gone out, so I am not sure how many of those were too frum for me or at my level or below, but I have enough to base a statistic off of it. I am talking about when a shidduch is brought up by a friend of a family or a friend of mine and the girl (or her parents) demands references. I can maybe somewhat understand if it was an actual shadchan making the shidduch to demand reference, due to the fact that the shadchan doesn’t know either party that well so use this is an extra insurance. Although, I think that is too frummie for me too. But I am more annoyed when someone when some one I know matches it up and the girl wants references. If the family or person knows them and me (and/or my family), then it’s as if you don’t trust them.

Also, my personal stats show that when someone like this wants refs, the girl is always more religious than me. Its obviously more this is normal for the frum crowd to constantly demand 5 phone numbers of neighbors, friends, and rabbis, and the pre-1A Morah, but it is less common with the more modern girls and who I went out with that were more my ‘speed’. Not the mention the other obvious defense that is always mentioned that “its only a few hours and some drinks, what do you got to loose”.

Maybe this is just me, but I am more interested in the more laid back, modern girls who trust friends rather than those other super overly cautious frummer gals who don’t trust anyone as they are scared of wasting their precious time with some random guy for 3 hours.

Monday, June 25, 2007

No, I dont want your yeshiva's water - go away!

First off, I heard this morning that Dunkin Donuts isn’t kosher anymore, but my Rabbi is looking into it. Now, im not sure if it’s only the one on J but all over Flatbush, but this is a major drawback. What is one to do with out their chocolate frosted and crappy eggs and cheese croissants? Life will go on. The second point I would like to make is which brilliant Yeshiva came up with this brilliant finance campaign. Let’s do as the homeless do and harass people at red lights on Ocean Parkway right before the Prospect Expressway and demand them to buy water from you. Oh, and if you see someone with a yarmulke on, knock on their window until they acknowledge you. Oh, and if they don’t open the window a second later, why don’t you try and attempt to open the person’s frigin car door. That should work. Not for me. Me shaking your wet and icy hands and introducing yourself and your cause isn’t going to cut it.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Flatbush I didn't miss

As I slowly get back into normal routine and everyday flatbush life, there are certain things i certainly can say did not miss while I was away. The first day back on the subway, I see an available seat in my car so i run to take it. It was next to a middle age frum jewish woman. The chuthzpa and bummy of me to sit down next to a woman. As i sat down, i watch her move her ass over like 5 inches. Listen lady with tehillem open in your hands making believe your prayin, chill the hell out when I sit down, i aint gonna bite ya. I wasnt even touchin ya, and if your scared there is a chance my pants may brush against your skirt for a split second, its not the end of the world.
I also did not miss waiting in line in a kosher take out, although the kosher take out i did miss quite a bit. Sorry big dude with fancy white shirt if im really hungry and tired after a jog that i dont want to wait behind you for 10 minutes while you give your order to the counter lady while talking on your cell phone at the same time. Hang up the phone, order, then call back your booky later. For a happy ending, the shnitzel was damn good.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Is it unfrum to backpack?

After returning from a brief backpacking trip in Central America (2 weeks compared to people traveling for 6 months or more), I noticed something. I did not meet one frum person backpacking. Let alone the non religious Jews, I only met two who can bring themselves to hanging at hostels and hopping on and off the bus route. This was excluding the non religious Israelis, of whom there were many. I came across the same thing when I did some traveling in Europe a little while back. Is it not frum to backpack, especially a solo backpacker? Out there it was viewed as normal to go traveling by yourself through random countries. Over here, is it is viewed as strange. When I told a date about my trip before I left, she thought I was 'crazy' that I planned to go by myself.

Frum people need their groups of 4 of the same sex and to stay at fancy hotels in Miami. Many Jewish people also need their 5 star resort and look to be pampered as much as possible. It is below them to share a room with 7 random strangers on bunk beds without air conditioning and sometimes lacking hot water. And G-d forbid they meet new people on their trips. They must stick to themselves because the Torah says not to mingle with the goyim because we may become like them, right? Because they are all evil and the Jews are all righteous. Jews must remain sheltered. And then we wonder why there is so much anti Semitism in this world. I was proud that I represented one of the few frum solo backpackers out there.

Friday, June 1, 2007

The Jewish Flatbush accent.

To me, there is nothing more annoying than having to listen to a person with that strong Jewish nasal voice for three hours. This rule not only applies to old European people who it be more expected of them to speak this way, but even the young girls who are living in Flatbush. Maybe people find this accent sexy, I certainly don’t. I was on a date this week with a girl who sounds like a cross between Fran Dresser and the woman from the TV show 'King of Queens'. Although I myself am a native brooklyner, I try my hardest as not to talk like one. I personally don’t think I talk like one, and ive been told I have a very light Brooklyn accent if any at all not awwwwll). But I think it’s a bit more than just a Brooklyn accent, it’s the whining and talking thru the nose aspect of it. I a now scared of going of having nightmares of someone whining for 20 min straight saying ‘oohh my gaawwwwwd’.

I n other news, for all those who are bored enough to read this blog or some how came upon this blog by accident. I will be out for 2 weeks while I do some traveling. I hope you all can try and stick it out, although im sure it will be tough. happy travels.