Im not sure of the number of girls I have gone out, so I am not sure how many of those were too frum for me or at my level or below, but I have enough to base a statistic off of it. I am talking about when a shidduch is brought up by a friend of a family or a friend of mine and the girl (or her parents) demands references. I can maybe somewhat understand if it was an actual shadchan making the shidduch to demand reference, due to the fact that the shadchan doesn’t know either party that well so use this is an extra insurance. Although, I think that is too frummie for me too. But I am more annoyed when someone when some one I know matches it up and the girl wants references. If the family or person knows them and me (and/or my family), then it’s as if you don’t trust them.
Also, my personal stats show that when someone like this wants refs, the girl is always more religious than me. Its obviously more this is normal for the frum crowd to constantly demand 5 phone numbers of neighbors, friends, and rabbis, and the pre-1A Morah, but it is less common with the more modern girls and who I went out with that were more my ‘speed’. Not the mention the other obvious defense that is always mentioned that “its only a few hours and some drinks, what do you got to loose”.
Maybe this is just me, but I am more interested in the more laid back, modern girls who trust friends rather than those other super overly cautious frummer gals who don’t trust anyone as they are scared of wasting their precious time with some random guy for 3 hours.