Lazy frummies dont mind 3 day yom tovim

After working three day work weeks the past month, I became really accustomed to it. Now that the holidays are over, and the next one in sight for which I have to take for I assume is Pesach, it’s going to be real hard to get back to normal schedule. No more of those long 3 days of eating, sleeping, walking, and more sleeping. Although after 1 day of that I was getting antsy of not being able to do much besides doing the aforementioned. I guess for the real frummie people who don’t work, or don’t do any outdoor activities and don’t have a TV anyways; these yom tovim isn’t really much different. I don’t think it really matter if they sit on their ass in the Beis Medrash all day on a regular day or a holiday. But someone who does all of those, it has a huge impact being stuck in building or area 3 days straight. When I am stuck in the office building all day, I have to take at least 3 walking breaks outside just to keep my sanity.

Now, I won’t have to worry about being stuck for yom tov 3 days straight for a while so, I think be ok. But working the normal 5 day work week, well, to be honest ill never get used to that.

I wish I knew more non frummies

I was thinking recently, rather I’ve been thinking this way before, but was thinking about this again more recently; I regret I didn’t know more non-frum and non-jews when I was growing up. I’m sure I’m not the only one, as most frum people from Flatbush never really had the opportunity to associate themselves with people other then their type either. I regret this however. When I grew up, my block was always 90 percent Jewish, so whoever I played with were frum yeshivish kids. Then came yeshiva, and again obviously, all frum Jewish guys. This was like all the way through high school and Israel beis medrash. Then came college, that was another story, you moved from hanging around and associating with frum guys, to frum guys and frum girls. But still hard to become close friends and hang out with the non-frum crowd. Yes, I spoke too many of the non-Jews and joked around a lot, but still we never actually hung out after wards like I would do with my close frum friends. Why is this?

Whenever I speak too my non frum acquaintances, their surprised that everyone of my close friends are orthodox jews. I’m surprised as well. But I never really had the opportunity and it just ‘sorta happened’ like this from my up bringing. Now, being post-college, it’s a little bit more difficult to gaining new friends that share the same interests like me, not to mention the difficulty to gaining non-jewish people that share the same interest. I understand that there can be issues, such as if they want to eat out in their restaurants or hang out on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons, it can create some problems. But these issues can be looked over and just tell them the differences, and do stuff where there is no eating involved (although this too is easy to overcome, I’m totally cool with just having a beer while they eat in a non-kosher place) or hanging out on shabbos.

I know a lot of sheltered frummies are totally against this and one may start bringing down pesukim saying how its “associating oneself with a non-jew is bad and lead to bad stuff’, but this is my view. I wish I had a more diverse group of friends, and I don’t mean by the kind of suit and whether or not they wear a black hat.

Hey Yeshivish guy on a date - drink the water!

I briefly wrote about this on a comment on a post I saw on nice Jewish guy’s blog a few days ago, in which he wrote about a funny sign he saw offering separate classes for dating advice. It was funny because it reminded me what I saw on Sunday in the mountains (yes I went there after I ran the half). When I was having a family barbeque at this outdoor park near some bungalow colonies and camps, there was this really yeshivish couple on a date a table away from us in this gazebo type setting. I know I shouldn’t be staring and judging at other people’s dates, as I hope no one analyzes my dates, but it was too hard not to. First let’s mention their attire; this guy was wearing a whole suit, tie and hat while the girl was wearing this thick black dress and long sleeves during the date. I’m thinking this guy must be sweating his ass off. I was hot in just my t-shirt while he’s outside with a whole suit on. I don’t wear suits ever on any dates for a whole other issue, no matter the temperature, but there’s got to be some kind of leniency when its 90 degrees out there for those yeshivish folks, seriously. Where does it say that they have to be uncomfortable during the entire date?

Another thing I noticed while they were there, which was like an hour, none of them showed any bodily motion. No arms or head movements, nothing, I get restless 5 minutes into a date, I start changing my seating position for a more comfortable one, but this guy and girl was firm for the whole time. Also, they brought water with them to drink, right, but an hour later both waters were still sealed closed. There was this other family there having a barbeque who was also getting a kick out of this date, he began yelling “open the water”, he even offered some of their left over beer they had. They ignored their bickering. I found it funny, somewhat mean, but still entertaining. The date finally had enough of us making fun and staring, they went to another park down the road (I noticed them from the car when we left).

If it’s anyone who needs tips on dating and advice its people like these. I’m not saying I know everything about dating, hell ill be married if I did, but I definitely know how to actually enjoy and feel comfortable during my dates and actually drink the water I bring.

No, I dont want your yeshiva's water - go away!

First off, I heard this morning that Dunkin Donuts isn’t kosher anymore, but my Rabbi is looking into it. Now, im not sure if it’s only the one on J but all over Flatbush, but this is a major drawback. What is one to do with out their chocolate frosted and crappy eggs and cheese croissants? Life will go on. The second point I would like to make is which brilliant Yeshiva came up with this brilliant finance campaign. Let’s do as the homeless do and harass people at red lights on Ocean Parkway right before the Prospect Expressway and demand them to buy water from you. Oh, and if you see someone with a yarmulke on, knock on their window until they acknowledge you. Oh, and if they don’t open the window a second later, why don’t you try and attempt to open the person’s frigin car door. That should work. Not for me. Me shaking your wet and icy hands and introducing yourself and your cause isn’t going to cut it.

Shavuos is for sleeping.

Is it wrong of me to look forward to this holiday so I can catch up on my sleep? In fact, I remember last year being the first year in a really long time that I didn’t stay up on Shavuos night and I remember having one the best nights sleep. I have no idea why. I remember the years I actually did stay up all night, I barely learnt 30 minutes through out the night. I enjoyed it because it was a great social gathering and get to meet up with my buddies and catch up on good old times, but then, by the end of the night, I always felt very unproductive as if I wasted my night away doing nothing and of course really tired. The best part of my night was when i came home and layed down and was out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I notice that’s what most young people in Flatbush do that anyways, stay up all night for the sake of it. They barely learn an hour then hang around the coffee and donut stations gossiping about life for the rest of the night. I love the people that stay out all night to hang around outside smoking and make their shabuos night crawl from shul to shul and see what kind of goodies their offering.

At least last year I attempted to learn for an hour so i can be aware of what’s going on, despite being overly tired from putting in a full day of work,. So, I went to my shul, got some goodies, then sat down and tried to listen to a shiur. Ten minutes in, having not really listened all that much and I all was thinking about was my bed. So it got me thinking, I could be home sleeping. I book out and was back home in my bed with in 15 minutes – best shavous ever. Maybe that’s what I need, a really boring shiur at 12 a clock to really get me tired and all set for sleep at 12.30. Bring it on..

Extravagant friday night Bar Mitzvah

I guess bar mitzvahs have changed since my days of actively attending them back when I was 13. I was at a relative’s bar mitzvah this past shabbos, and all I can say is that are many other ways to spend excess money. First I thought when some one makes the main event on a Friday night; the family was trying to save money by not having it on a weeknight. They get to save on expenses like photography and musicians. Oh, was I so wrong. Indeed, they did hire a photographer before shabbos as well as hiring 3 chasideshe guys to sing acapella during the meal. That Williger guy was there singing, but ive been told he was there as friend and wasn’t getting paid.

As I walked into the main hall which looked liked more like an ice bar with blue glowing stands, than a bar mitzvah reception, along with the 250 other guests, we were greeted by 42 waiters in crisp dry cleaned jackets all standing in synch, with the fancy dishes and way to many silverware to count. All I can think is, damn, there are a lot of waiters here. Eventually I got accustomed to the abundance of waiters; I was all set for the food. We started off with this huge square piece of gefilte fish wrapped up like a gift box with a bow (made out of celery) and flower on top. I must say, the fish was pretty good and that was just the beginning. Oh, let talk about the drinks for a bit. So, everyone got those vintage 8 ounce glass bottles of coke instead of the normal 2 litter bottle for the table. That’s not all; I was worried once I had one, that was it. Each time I polished one down, within 2 minutes the waiter swapped it with a new bottle. So the soup and main course was the regular food you have in most places, but then they came around with spare ribs. Now that’s what im talking about. Oh, and then of course the 3 options of desert, which was awesome.
The next morning, I along, with some other people I had spoken with had some stomach issues. That didn’t stop me from eating at the Kiddush, which was way out of control. Im talking about the 20 minute wait for the cholent, kugal, corn beef, and pieces of tongue, six flavors of herring with the coolest guys of flatbush And may I add they catered a fine selection of liquor for these hockers (although I downed a shot or 2 myself). I stuck around for lunch, was pretty nice, but nothing that wasn’t mentioned already (8 ounce soda bottles and 3 different types of schnitzel). All I can say, that was one of those extravagant bar mitzvahs I have ever attended, maybe im just not as classy as some people, especially for a bar mitzvah that took place Friday night.

Has the flatbush snobs all moved to the 30's?

Has the 30’s become the new 20’s in Flatbush? Have the same obnoxious people from the 20’s integrated into the 30’s or is there a new breed of assholes? I used to go through the 20’s en route to the 30’s and dreading it. I used to never receive any form or greeting or even a nod of recognition that I just said good shabbos to you, or that I am in fact a human being; a human being who is not wearing an Armani suit and a black hat. Now it’s the reverse.

It had recently occurred to me that the 30’s are now worse than the 20’s. Maybe I just got so accustomed to their attitude I don’t even view it as assholeism. While walking in the area this weekend, I was pleasantly surprised of the good shabbos I was getting while walking in the 20’s. That all stopped once I reached Nostrand ave however. There was like a devil waiting there with a stop sign and diverting all the assholes into the thirties. Not one implication that I actually existed over there. Isn’t this the ‘new’ cool neighborhood where all the newly married folks are moving to where houses are under a million dollars? Someone suggested the idea that these people are the children of the 20’s. Then ill be damned to say that their children are now bigger snobs than their parents. Maybe it’s the proposition that the children will one day take over daddy’s business, then once they have enough money will move back into the twenties. The cycle of life, I see.

Frummies and their bluetooth

Im sick and tired of seeing these yashiva guys and frummies walking around with the bluetooth earpieces in their ear for no reason. Im ok if they were driving and needed their hand free, but now i see all the cool machers walking around flatbush with it as if their the hottest shit around. I can be eating at KD or J2 and be near a guy sitting down doing nothing, his hands are relaxing beside him, and yelling into this thing. It has come much more of fashion and social statement than the actual purpose of it. I just wanna grab it out of an ear and stamp on it while watching every piece fly out from under my shoe. yeh, thats what i'll do.

Sex talk amongst married guys is just wrong

Speaking publicly about your sex life is always wrong in my book. But these discussions i keep on having to listen to, took another step further, and these are ex-yeshiva guys we are talking about here. You see, last night at the party i was at their wives were there, so their conversation was a bit tamer. When their wives aren't present, all hell breaks loose. They can bring up, whos wife is the hottest and who the best lover. I mean, seriously? they are talking about doing each others wife as if their talking about which team is gonna win the Superbowl. Conversations have even gone do doing a three some. what would their wives do if they find out about this talk. Some of these ex-yeshiva guys have kids. when i get married, i wanna keep my sex life as private as i can, and i hope i never compare her to anothers friends wife and that if there was a wife at the table ill do so and so's wife. its just wrong. I can think alot of sexual fantasies, but thats as far as one should go, not to the husband of this hot wife.

P.S thanks for all encouraging feedback regarding me not getting many comments. I got myself a sitemeter to measure the hits as well as trying to post as many other blogs as possibly can.