Roommate approval after only two dates?

I recently went out with a girl for a third date. The first 2 dates went sort of well, but fun nevertheless enough for a 3rd I think. Then came the 3rd and for some reason the plan was changed to meet by her apartment with her roommate still being there. She would be there of the remainder of the time and was with us when we went a local concert (which was not planned). The plan was to hang out at the apt with both girls. Now, am I crazy for thinking that was strange? Is she trying to get roommate approval after only 2 dates? I hardly know the girl im going out with and here I am talking it up with the roommate, who I must say was also pretty attractive. Naturally things didn’t work out after, as I felt really uncomfortable being put into this kind of situation.

How was I suppose to be all close and huddly cuddly with the girl I was currently going out with only meeting her twice before. Rather, I ended up having casual small talk with both the roomie and her. It also felt like a date with both of them that went horribly wrong. Is this normal procedure, have I missed something. I can see maybe after 10 dates when we are both comfortable with each other that she wants her dating partner to meet her friends and vice versa, not two. How would she like it if I took my friend along and went all went out together?

Maybe, other people can feel comfortable after 2 dates, but I need a lot longer to really feel cool with meeting her hot roommate. If she wasn’t up for another date, she shouldn’t have gone out again. I guess it was poor judgment on her part.

fed up with the frum dating scene - m4w

A friend of mine recently sent me this craigslist posting by email. This guy hit the issue right on, and now i fear that can be me in a couple years.

I am already in my 30's.I am an honest and good-looking guy with a bright future.I have not even been on a date in over 2 years.The shadchanim dont return phone calls.The community looks down at you if you try to meet people on your own,then they call you a bum and smear your reputation.
But what is a person supposed to do.... I have been waiting for years for the shadchanim to call me back...... First they say... call me after Rosh Hashana.... after Rosh Hashana I call and they say they are busy getting ready for Sukkos..... same thing when Chanukah comes around.....then purim.....This week a shadchan called me crazy when I called her less that a month before Passover.Could you imagine what would happen if a shadchan brought her sick child to the doctor and the doctor said "sorry I cant help you because its 3 weeks before pesach and I have lots of cleaning to do". There would be an uproar. I am tired of the excuses.
Being an Orthodox Jew is like being a member in a club.You pay your membership dues (living a life of torah and mitzvos and giving tzedokah) and then you are supposed to get benefits (community support,aliyahs on shabbos,help with shidduchim) I feel like I am being asked to pay my dues, but when I ask for services I am shut out and treated like an animal.

It is my goal in life to be married and raise children in a healthy structured environment.I feel that when I tell this to people, they laugh at me.All the married men say "believe me young man, you dont want to get married". If that is true then WHY ARE THEY MARRIED!!!! If it is so bad they should divorce their wives!Could you imagine if someone told you grapefruits taste horrible, but they still eat grapefruits? What hypocrits!
I have already brought my case to Hashem.I davened at the Kotel and at the kever of Reb Yonasson ben Uzziel.And guess what? My prayers have gone unanswered, just like my calls to the shadchanim. So ladies and gentlemen, I dont mean to be graphic, but if I want to have children I must do it before I start shooting blanks.So I decided it is time to widen the pool of prospective wives.
Here is the bottom line: If I dont have a date with a Jewish girl by Saturday night, then Sunday morning I will go to St. Patricks cathedral and convert to Christianity.This is not a craigslist frum ad parody, I am serious. Have a nice day!


Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/290360130.html

What the F*&% inspires you

Can someone please explain me this one. What does it mean to be inspired by Judaism? More importantly, why would a girl ask a friend/ chavrusa of mine (once in a while im a good jew and learn) this kind of question? I would really like to hear her views on this matter. I would like her to send me a detailed 30 page thesis explaining what it is about our religion that truly inspires her. I think Judaism is a pretty cool religion. If I was born a catholic, would I be equally inspired by the religion I was born up with? This topic is too complex as it is and probably deserves its posting, but certainly not a question I want my potential mate asking. The same girl who states that learning Mishna berura is not considered learning, she wants to go out with a guy who can make wicked ass laining in gemarah. I would like to know what exactly she is learning. How is she contributing to the jewish religion. Does she say 5 paragraphs of tehilem on the train while staring at all the guys? That doesn’t count.
Ok, so I take it she is probably way to frum for me and is looking for a super religious guy, im fine with that. But, I am told she has 2 earrings in one ear. What is up with that? Am I crazy for thinking that this girl is totally confused? They seriously have to realize they can’t look for something beyond their reach. Why would a gemarah, white shirt kind of guy go out with a girl like that? Those guys will certainly be turned off by the not so halachkly correct of having 2 earrings. Anyone have any ideas?

My View

So, this my first posting on this blog, or any blog for that matter. So I hope my opinions, as time goes on, become more outspoken and entertaining for the reader. I am no writer of any sort, so my grammar, spelling, and general coherency will probably be out of whack. But i am sure you will get what you need to know through my words. My college professor and English teachers can do it, so can you. That said, here is my general view of the frum world we live in. We are run by a select group of older rabbis who are old school, and who i may add commit plenty of wrongdoings of their own kind, and they are the ones who decide whats best for us. Next we have the Brooklyn mentality of having no respect for others and a feeling of superiority. One would think with all that Torah in their head, some good may actually come of it, well apparently not. Then we have the brooklyn jew girls, no matter ugly or fat, educated or not, deserving or not, going after the 1 nice tall good looking hotshot lawyer guy, and expect nothing less. i will go into greater details and stories as i think of them and as i continue this blog, but for not ill leave it as that. Am i the only one who thinks this way, are there others, i would love to hear your opinions..