Thursday, December 13, 2007
Listen kids - you dont always have to listen to the Rabbis!
Part of this post is to rebell a recent article someone told me he saw in the Jewish Observer. The article, written by a yeshivisha guy, blasted bloggers that write about putting down frumkeit and rabbonim and how it is hurting the younger generation. All I can think, how can I stop and not help out his cause at all cost. I must go back and piss them off more. I still have anger on the Rabonim and frumkeit as a whole; I must still continue to write bad things about the Rabbis and help ‘damage’ the minds of younger generation. This is what makes me sleep better at night.
How dare Frum Jews think for them selves? How dare frum jews find a way to make their point and have people hear it at will. How dare we question the higher authorities? Although I was glad to hear some of the comments were blasting the writer, but its still disturbing to hear that there are junkies out there who are scared of people realizing the “rabonim’ are not always right and we have a right to ask questions and argue and not ‘do as they say’. So kids, what have you learnt here; “Don’t always trust the Rabonim”! Now I can sleep tonight.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thinking about a blogging hiatus
All I know is that I began this blog as a place to vent some frustrations in my life whether its dating, Flatbush life, or frumkeit has a whole. That has worked out well but over time like an idiot I have told personal friends about it and they sometimes check it out regularly. But sometimes what I write on here is then questioned in real life, which defeated the whole purpose of the blog. I didn’t want people I know questioning me outside my blog. Now every time I write something, I have to think if someone I know will call me and ask me why I said that and ask why so angry. It didn’t all happen now, but for a while now. I used to write more personal stuff, now I try and write more generally or write something that I don’t want people I know read and think about it. I liked it better when I was more anonymous so people didnt question my posts and people i didnt know could respond appropriately.
Luckily, there are many more blogs on these topics to keep you busy during your boring 9-5 jobs.. So, that said I hope to come back soon.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Lazy frummies dont mind 3 day yom tovim
Now, I won’t have to worry about being stuck for yom tov 3 days straight for a while so, I think be ok. But working the normal 5 day work week, well, to be honest ill never get used to that.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
How dare me eat bread outside a sukka
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
New SYAS stalker-free feature
For those not on their list, I have copied the email below.
Dear ****
We're excited to introduce two new features to you: "Blocked Member" and "Blocked Matchmaker". These features will now give you the option to prevent certain matches that you do not wish to receive, from being sent to you. This way they will not take up any of your match spaces, and enable you to receive better quality matches.
What are these new features? Where can I find them? How do they work?
On the left hand side of your member home page you will see the options of 'Blocked Members' and 'Blocked Matchmakers'
Blocked Members: Here you can insert the information of the specific people you do not wish to be sent as a potential match (e.g. an ex wife/husband, friend, relative, or someone you previously dated). This will help prevent awkward potential suggestions that you know that you would not want to have. You enter the names of the people and the system will automatically block the matches from being suggested.
Blocked Matchmakers: By viewing a specific matchmaker's profile information (This can be found by choosing 'matchmaker' on the top tool bar, and searching by matchmaker name) you can select the option to block this matchmaker from viewing your profile and sending you matches. This function can be used if you do not want particular matchmakers seeing your information (e.g. You are not comfortable with a particular matchmaker, who is on the site, seeing your private data or you are not happy with the matches that a certain matchmaker is sending you and do not want more matches from that matchmaker.)
These features have been created not to limit the number of matches that you receive, but to improve the suitability of your matches.
As usual, the improvements to the site come from the members so thank you once again for your valuable feedback and contributions to improving the service.
We hope you enjoy using these new features.
Warm Regards,
The SYAS Team
Monday, September 24, 2007
My thoughts of Yom Kippur
Another thought that came up, why some shuls don’t have any breaks and sometimes go a complete hour after the fast is over to blow shofar. Are they trying to prove other shuls they are frummer them because they can say the words slower that slow. Or because they can fast an extra hour for absultety no reason. Luckily I was in a normal shul that blew shofar on schedule and had a decent break. Despite the genious black mantenence guy who didn’t know, put the cake and juice out an hour early, so I had to stare at the cake for most of neila and drool. You know I wasn’t that hungry until that happened. Plus I sat right next to the table so made it even more difficult on concetrating on the neila. But like I said earlier, I don’t have to worry about this again till next year. Yee haaw.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
What are the responsibilities for a Rabbi of a shul?
Lance insists he is a great Rabbi to seek guidance from and very knowledgeable. He also lauds his weekly shiur, and therefore Lance is against his possible firing.
The debate we are having is what exactly a Rabbi's responsibilities are. My argument is a if a Rabbi of a shul should lead by example and maintain order, while offering guidance in other issues is an added bonus.
When I say leading by example, I mean coming on time and not talking. If there is too much talking in the shul, it is the rabbi’s job to try and keep it a minimum. I know the Rav of my modern shul stops laining if it gets too loud. A shul needs some kind of leadership. Despite us being adults, there still needs someone in charge. Imagine if an entire shul came a half an hour late. Imagine an entire shul talking so loud you can hear it from a block away. It's the Rabbi’s job to make sure those things don't happen be managing and leading the way. That can only work if he comes in on time every time (even early) and not talk ever during davening (while making sure others don’t talk as well).
Sorry Lance, this rabbi has got to go. Despite his very or even too ‘approachable’ attitude and his knowledge, a shul can not have a slacker for a Rabbi. Why should I come on time, why should I stop talking if the leader of my shul is doing the same thing as me?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Muslims are better prayers?
As every one knows, they fast for 30 days during the day then eat at night. That itself sounds really hard. I can just imagine yesterday 30 days straight. Although yesterday’s fast wasn’t super hard (also it can be because we ate for 3 days straight which helped a bit), but I can’t imagine doing that everyday for 30 days. That’s a lot of days. He wakes up at 4 am to eat as if it’s the most normal of habits. Whenever we have these fast days, I personally eat a big meal before I go to bed at midnight so not to wake up extra early in the morning.
Besides the fast, they have a 2 hour prayer every night starting at 9 PM. The time I am usually implanted on my bed watching the tube, they are at mosque. I complain about selichos with the extra 30 min for a week, they are praying 2 hours a night (in addition to their other prayers) for 30 days straight. But he says every person comes on time, turns off their cell phone, and not a sound is heard for 2 hours. I can’t remember the last shul I have been to where that happened. Maybe I am just used to my Flatbush shul, roll in 5 or 10 min late, schmooze with some people then get down to business for a few minutes then schmooze a little more, (watch the important people check their blackberries every 10 minutes when its not shabbos), maybe I am just antzy to sit still for that long.
After talking to him, I couldnt help but think about this. For some reason I believe him that this actually goes on at the mosque. I think it’s kind of odd that there is more respect and devoted people at the mosques than we have at our frum shuls.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Disrespectful 9/11 protestors
I usually try not to make this blog political, as it is not a political one, but certain situations like these get under my skin. This has nothing to do with frum people or Jewish people, as I am sure there were some of them as well in this group, but more of an American and New Yorker. I hope these protestors can take their idiotic beliefs elsewhere or yell on a different day and have more respect next year.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Frummie car salesmen
Now, I wonder now if there are any trusts worthy car salesman. This is one fear of mine when buying a new car, is being ripped off. I guess I have to look for the one who will me rip me off the least. My last car was bought by an Israeli person, who I sorta trusted. So now, it’s a question who do I trust more of the 2 most dishonest groups of people, the Israeli’s or the yeshivish hocker man. Thinking about it now, those Indians or Italian salesmen don’t look all that trust worthy either.
Also yesterday, I was able to check out the under hyped, under crowded, and under marketed Jewish concert festival. I think this event is a much better version of the Israeli day concert/parade that took place back in May. Ill take the speechless, hippie Jewish crowd with Hebrew beer vendors over the political agenda, over crowded teenie bopper Israeli concert any day.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Frummies cry ant-semitism
But many of the comments were putting down PETA and claiming that they are ‘just out to get the Jews’. Every time I hear that excuse when something doesn’t go there way, I grow another white hair. Once again do these so called ‘frum jews’ think they are above the law, similar to the riot in Boro Park when someone was illegally speaking on his cell phone while driving. If the law states it is illegal, it applies to everyone, even Jews. Not every single time the government cracks down on something you don’t like, can you cry Anti-Semitism? I remember reading one really ignorant comment saying that it is a ‘freedom of religion’ and how can they the government do this. Cuz it’s the damn law – that’s why.
And these people are so quick to use that rational when it’s gearing towards them. I bet these people aren’t so fast to use that defense when other religions are doing such practices. Imagine the Koran said to kill all the Jews because its freedom of religion. Ok, maybe that’s far fetched, but even a similar practice to kapores where an animal can be harmed in the process, lets see how many Jews say its ok to such practice because of their religion. My guess is none. Jews, Muslims, and Christians all have to obey the same laws and all have the same treatment in this great country of ours.
Friday, August 31, 2007
NY snobs in Europe
During my recent trip to Europe, after much angst I decided to take a minimalist approach and pack as little as possible. But I included a nice pair of slacks for my shabbos visit to the shul nearby the center of town.
I was surprised when I discovered a group of young guys from Queens. One of the guys actually brought his suit, but it was totally wrinkled because it had obviously been squished into his suitcase for several days.
I'm all for dressing up for shabbos and holidays, yet there has to be some point of practicality to the whole deal. I mean was this guy so obsessed with maintaining the Queens kewl guy look that he absolutely had to bring his snooty dark suit?
I understand that there's a thin line between classy and casual, but when on vacation I think most sane people understand that it's ok to take a minimalist approach.
Plus, what about when in Rome do as the Romans do? Almost everyone there had a nice button down shirt and slacks.
But what irked me more was that there was also a group a girls roughly the same age from Queens there as well. For some reason or other, we all failed to connect on Saturday night together, despite the fact that everyone was headed to the same direction and that they all casually knew each other.
Why is it that even hundreds of miles away from home we still can't all get along? Am I being to impractical? Why can't the commonality of being young, Jewish, around the same age be enough of a reason to want to join up together? Isn't it more fun that way?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Do guys have to pay for a girl on a faux date?
Recently I took a full day trip out of state with this lady friend (it was just us), and after I offered to pay for the gas, I would’ve assumed she would cover the tolls and her own admission fee. She did tell me a few times that she is going to pay me back for the expenses I laid out for her (even a souvenir), but the end result was, she didn’t give me any of the money. If this isn’t a date and we are not in a relationship and we are going strictly as friends, I should treat her like other guys I hang out when I drive with them, although most people give me the money without me asking for it. I am not the kind of guy to ask for the money at the end of the trip, I hope they are nice and honest enough to cough up with cash voluntarily. Am I being ungentlemanly about this?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Mornings and Marriage
I’m a type of guy that won’t talk to anyone regarding anything for at least an hour after waking. This never really came up on dates, though. I guess its something not to brag about to a girl, such as telling someone, "Oh by the way I’m a cranky bitch in the morning, so if you’re not interested in another date I’ll understand."
I know I’m far from the only one who’s like this, but from TV, these couples wake up at the same time and start yapping the moment their eyes open. What amazes me is that these people hop out of bed in an instant.
Maybe this is just me, but I feel going to sleep alone is tons sadder than waking up alone. I love waking up alone with the quietness. If I’m off and my alarm clock isn’t waking me up, I'll probably rise at noon thinking it was 7 am. I guess in married life, if your spouse is an early waker upper, you’re pretty much screwed for life.
I remember speaking to some older married guy about this on a ski lift (great place to start schmoozing with random strangers you’ll never see again in your life) about this issue. He told me he and his wife have an understanding that he hates mornings as well and they don’t speak to each other until 10 a.m. or so. I think that’s brilliant. Although it may take time for it to work because they each wake up in the same room and use the same facilities and eat kind of near each other. But they can do it 5 or 10 min shifts.
It still gets me thinking every time I wake up and people start talking to me and asking me questions. One may wonder how this has anything to do with frumness, well it doesn’t, but NSF is without internet and is over thinking about life complications.
Editors note: Despite this post being posted at night, it was thought out and written in the morning.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Jews and arabs can get along
Also, I probably wont be able to blog much in the near future because my current job decided the block the internet, which occupied much of my dar. Now, i can have all day thinking on what to write about.
Monday, August 13, 2007
I wish I knew more non frummies
Whenever I speak too my non frum acquaintances, their surprised that everyone of my close friends are orthodox jews. I’m surprised as well. But I never really had the opportunity and it just ‘sorta happened’ like this from my up bringing. Now, being post-college, it’s a little bit more difficult to gaining new friends that share the same interests like me, not to mention the difficulty to gaining non-jewish people that share the same interest. I understand that there can be issues, such as if they want to eat out in their restaurants or hang out on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons, it can create some problems. But these issues can be looked over and just tell them the differences, and do stuff where there is no eating involved (although this too is easy to overcome, I’m totally cool with just having a beer while they eat in a non-kosher place) or hanging out on shabbos.
I know a lot of sheltered frummies are totally against this and one may start bringing down pesukim saying how its “associating oneself with a non-jew is bad and lead to bad stuff’, but this is my view. I wish I had a more diverse group of friends, and I don’t mean by the kind of suit and whether or not they wear a black hat.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Hey Yeshivish guy on a date - drink the water!
Another thing I noticed while they were there, which was like an hour, none of them showed any bodily motion. No arms or head movements, nothing, I get restless 5 minutes into a date, I start changing my seating position for a more comfortable one, but this guy and girl was firm for the whole time. Also, they brought water with them to drink, right, but an hour later both waters were still sealed closed. There was this other family there having a barbeque who was also getting a kick out of this date, he began yelling “open the water”, he even offered some of their left over beer they had. They ignored their bickering. I found it funny, somewhat mean, but still entertaining. The date finally had enough of us making fun and staring, they went to another park down the road (I noticed them from the car when we left).
If it’s anyone who needs tips on dating and advice its people like these. I’m not saying I know everything about dating, hell ill be married if I did, but I definitely know how to actually enjoy and feel comfortable during my dates and actually drink the water I bring.
Monday, August 6, 2007
NSF runs the NYC half
So I woke up at 4.40 yesterday to make to my corral at 6 am, for a race start of 7 am. Let it be told I have never waked up that early on a Sunday morning. Nsf likes his sleep. So after I stretch and wait in the enclosed area of the park for 45 min or so, I stand in my corral with thousands of other people, my position is still about 6 blocks away from the actual starting line. I fully regret this decision but it’s too late now. I can barely hear the horn go off and still not moving for at least 2 min, I see we start walking slowly, then running slowly, I was thinking I can do this, then we stopped for another min then we walk again, then we began running and I knew this was it (exactly 8 minutes after the official starting time). No stopping now. For the first few miles it was so tight, I tried not to run over people and not runners come into me. I saw 1 frum girl there walking smack in the middle of the pack of runners, I’m ok with people walking during the race, I walked for a minute or so by mile 11 or so but don’t do it in the middle of the pack especially at the beginning of the race where it’s really crowded, she caused this huge back up.
Before the race, I was talking to some people who ran these things before and they were giving me tips, I remember one was ‘pace yourself thru the park and hold yourself back when you have an urge to go faster’, which pretty much helped me out through the 7 miles through the park. I did the park in a pace a bit slower than I usually go, because the most I ran was 7 or 8 miles (not 13.1) but felt really comfortable when I actually left the park. Which was also probably the best part of my race, coming from a semi quit park to screaming cheerers and live music bands playing on 7th ave, that definitely helped me out.. I was even comfortable going to the west side highway, and then about half way down the west side, I felt my legs acting up on me. Although walking thru most of the water stops and grabbing a cup, my legs began to tire up. I walked 1 min here then ran another 10 min, it was kind of working. Then I hear people yelling ‘its almost over, right over that hill’, what a load of crap that was. I went over that hill and saw a sign another mile to go.. Ahhhh. Then every time I thought it was over – it wasn’t, it was just another damn sign saying how close you are, but no finish line.. where the hell is finish line?
It finally came at last, but then they made us slowly walk for 3 blocks full of thousands of other people as they give me a cold towel, my medal, and they take off my chip. Oh, how thankful that’s over, but still thinking, how cool will a full marathon be.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Korn vs Tu B'av party
I was able to get a date the first time I attended the party, but was unsuccessful the year after. If you’re not aware of how it works, everyone gets a sticker with a unique number with your name on it and then you are SUPPOSED to put it on your shirt where other people (usually those of the opposite sex) can see it. Then if you like that person you write down their number, and if you both write their number down, well, you will each be contacted by the parties organizers the next day or so.
That sounds like a great idea, but many people hide their numbers or don’t wear their sticker. I remember the first time I was there I somehow ended up being with someone who knew someone, with this totally unattractive overweight older woman. But her sticker was covered by her hair. I told her that it was blocking the number and people are not able to see it if they want to approach you.
She nonchalantly replies, “It was placed like that strategically.” Is she serious?! Did she actually think I was interested in her, or does she think that too many people are going to go after her? None of that was going to happen! If you’re going to an event like this, you should appear as if you’re out there to meet people, and not think your some obnoxious bitch. Another line I always love hearing is when a girl says: “I don’t do these things, I’m just here to help out my friend.” Was she ashamed of being single? If you’re at the party at least try to attempt to have a good time and be honest.
Somehow, I find Korn fans a lot more honest than those Bangitout people. If you were at the party this year or previous years, I would like your hear your input as well.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Where do frum singles live in NY besides the city?
The only places I would love to move to locally would be Williamsburg (not the Chasidic part) and Park Slope. There is something about those places that really lure me. Maybe it’s because the grungy look or the ‘I don’t care what I wear’ look they give off, as opposed to the West Side always dressed to impress and their snotty attitude. If only there was a small Jewish singles scene in those two Brooklyn places who have that same chilled out outlook in life. I can overlook their liberal political outlook. The rent is another issue. Every Jewish singles area is so expensive, but I think Brooklyn is a drop less expensive, but I’m sure it's still ridiculously pricey. What's a simple frum Jewish single guy to do?
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Really really expensive singles weekends
The people making these events are out there to make a huge profit and don’t really care about getting people married. They must have a great marketing staff to get people out there I tell you. If these organization really cared about the so called ‘single crisis’, they would get sponsors and/or charge us what it costs, and quit viewing it as a business venture. Tell these people to stop being typical jews and stop thinking with their wallet and Acuras.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Tisha baav and working
But, what sucks when the 3 weeks end, it concludes with a major fast. I’m ok with fasting sometimes, I don’t enjoy it obviously, but it’s doable, which reminds me, some people have asked me if I am working on Tisha baav, and I keep on answering them yes. The simple reason is because I know if I don’t work, ill be sitting on my ass all day watching TV. So to me, working is more productive and more spiritual than watching oprah in the afternoon. I know many of the frummie people will tell me, go to a speech or something instead of watching TV. I know myself pretty well, that is not happening. I had my share my depressing speeches about the beis hamikdash back in the camp days. Those days are long gone. Nowadays, watching my coworkers eat their big Macs on tisha baav is enough pain and suffering for me to remind me of the destruction.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Frummies like money
Once again, frum people are in the news trying to make the extra buck, although not necessarily the ethical way. Once again, I am to think these are the bad apples of our community and not the frum community as hole.
The story of the observant Jew trying to sue Jetblue airlines is really angry at them because he claims they fired him because he kept shabbos. I am too believe that, according to the article, that he spoke to the CEO of the airline. Yeh, this entry level customer service rep had a discussion with a multibillion dollar airline CEO. It is just very hard to believe. I think he just wants to make a case and make some money. I know some people who couldn’t get hired because of shabbos, but they moved on. Does he really think he’s going to get millions of dollars? Hell, how do I make one?
The other case I’m sure everyone heard already is the one at Touro College where staff member were accused of a scheme where people can buy them selves a dimploma for 3000 bucks. Damn, why wasn’t I told of this before they got busted? I could use a few MBA’s and Masters Degrees. I know this happens at non-Jewish institutions as well, but Touro? The popular place because their so ‘frum’ and because some campuses have the separate heimeshe atmosphere. I guess Frum jews are like everyone else in this world, with equal number of money hungry immoral thieves out to screw others.
Monday, July 16, 2007
NSF's car accident
About 5 cop cars came, some ambulances, and a fire truck came to manage the area for about a half hours and took down all the info, cleaned the place up, then took my car to a pound. Speaking about the pound, these guys look and act like the most dishonest white trash people I have ever met. I now have to leave it there until the lady’s insurance comes and looks at my car. Let’s hope when I pick up my belongings its all there and cooperate when the donation organization comes to pick up the car.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Remembering all the dates you went on
So I began recreating a list at work of all the girls I went out with. I tried remembering them by name; but that wasn’t going too happened. I tried remembering them by the person who set me up, I was able to recall a few. I tried thinking of all the different places I’ve been too and tried to remember them by that, I was able to pick up a few more. But I know im still missing a bunch. Am I evil for not knowing the girls I went out with? Its not even like I went out with a huge number, I am sure it’s about average or below average number of girls of what someone my age have gone out with. According to my IT lady, who by accident needed my computer out of the blue and noticed my worksheet open and said “wow – impressive’. But little does she know the way frum jewish people or the way I date. Most of those were 1 or 2 dates and not even sure why I went out with them. Do most people remember all the girls (or guys if you’re a girl) they have gone out with. Oh well.
Monday, July 9, 2007
The dead Flatbush I look forward to all year.
As much as I like the country life, I can’t bring myself going up to the Catskills for the weekend and deal with Flatbush in the mountains. Ill do Sunday trips somewhere in the mountains and only deal with mad rush of minivans on the palisades with out any direct eye contact unless to tell him that there’s no way he’s getting into my lane. Besides that, its back to my dead Flatbush I look forward to all year.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Do I know you?
My friend gave me the name of the other girl who claims to know me, but I have no idea who she is. Why is this person claiming to know me and then telling someone not to go out with me? I originally called it ‘bad-mouthing,’ which is nasty, but maybe she is just giving false information, as opposed to bad information. Regardless, it is still lying and I really would like to know why she's claiming to know me. I would have recognized her name if I dated her, but it doesn’t ring a bell. Do I have a right to be annoyed or just assume that she does know me and she honestly thinks this will not work out?
Monday, July 2, 2007
Boro Parkers are holier than Flatbush people
Maybe being from Boro Park, she was taught never to trust anyone or anyone ‘below’ her like the Flatbush people. This is almost as bad as the person who goes to Bar Mitzvahs and weddings of frum people and start questioning the People making the event what the kashrus is. I find that to be very chutzpadik, It’s like they don’t trust the people making the event. One has to trust people like themselves and not make believe your so much better and frummer than everyone else because you asked what the hashgacha is.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Frummie gals demand references
Also, my personal stats show that when someone like this wants refs, the girl is always more religious than me. Its obviously more this is normal for the frum crowd to constantly demand 5 phone numbers of neighbors, friends, and rabbis, and the pre-1A Morah, but it is less common with the more modern girls and who I went out with that were more my ‘speed’. Not the mention the other obvious defense that is always mentioned that “its only a few hours and some drinks, what do you got to loose”.
Maybe this is just me, but I am more interested in the more laid back, modern girls who trust friends rather than those other super overly cautious frummer gals who don’t trust anyone as they are scared of wasting their precious time with some random guy for 3 hours.
Monday, June 25, 2007
No, I dont want your yeshiva's water - go away!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The Flatbush I didn't miss
I also did not miss waiting in line in a kosher take out, although the kosher take out i did miss quite a bit. Sorry big dude with fancy white shirt if im really hungry and tired after a jog that i dont want to wait behind you for 10 minutes while you give your order to the counter lady while talking on your cell phone at the same time. Hang up the phone, order, then call back your booky later. For a happy ending, the shnitzel was damn good.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Is it unfrum to backpack?
Frum people need their groups of 4 of the same sex and to stay at fancy hotels in Miami. Many Jewish people also need their 5 star resort and look to be pampered as much as possible. It is below them to share a room with 7 random strangers on bunk beds without air conditioning and sometimes lacking hot water. And G-d forbid they meet new people on their trips. They must stick to themselves because the Torah says not to mingle with the goyim because we may become like them, right? Because they are all evil and the Jews are all righteous. Jews must remain sheltered. And then we wonder why there is so much anti Semitism in this world. I was proud that I represented one of the few frum solo backpackers out there.
Friday, June 1, 2007
The Jewish Flatbush accent.
To me, there is nothing more annoying than having to listen to a person with that strong Jewish nasal voice for three hours. This rule not only applies to old European people who it be more expected of them to speak this way, but even the young girls who are living in Flatbush. Maybe people find this accent sexy, I certainly don’t. I was on a date this week with a girl who sounds like a cross between Fran Dresser and the woman from the TV show 'King of Queens'. Although I myself am a native brooklyner, I try my hardest as not to talk like one. I personally don’t think I talk like one, and ive been told I have a very light Brooklyn accent if any at all not awwwwll). But I think it’s a bit more than just a Brooklyn accent, it’s the whining and talking thru the nose aspect of it. I a now scared of going of having nightmares of someone whining for 20 min straight saying ‘oohh my gaawwwwwd’.
I n other news, for all those who are bored enough to read this blog or some how came upon this blog by accident. I will be out for 2 weeks while I do some traveling. I hope you all can try and stick it out, although im sure it will be tough. happy travels.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Learning demands time off!
The Rabbis used to always tell us 'there is no time off from learning'. I hate the say this, sometimes one needs a day or two to to recuperate after putting 40 hours of learning in a week. I used to look forward to the few times a year, we were completely off. They think they are being nice by letting us out at 3.00 on Memorial day. What the hell can i do that late. Let alone, my HS was about 45 minutes away from my house. I'm glad those years are over. I have no idea how I would be able to handle that these days.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Shavuos is for sleeping.
I notice that’s what most young people in Flatbush do that anyways, stay up all night for the sake of it. They barely learn an hour then hang around the coffee and donut stations gossiping about life for the rest of the night. I love the people that stay out all night to hang around outside smoking and make their shabuos night crawl from shul to shul and see what kind of goodies their offering.
At least last year I attempted to learn for an hour so i can be aware of what’s going on, despite being overly tired from putting in a full day of work,. So, I went to my shul, got some goodies, then sat down and tried to listen to a shiur. Ten minutes in, having not really listened all that much and I all was thinking about was my bed. So it got me thinking, I could be home sleeping. I book out and was back home in my bed with in 15 minutes – best shavous ever. Maybe that’s what I need, a really boring shiur at 12 a clock to really get me tired and all set for sleep at 12.30. Bring it on..
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Roommate approval after only two dates?
How was I suppose to be all close and huddly cuddly with the girl I was currently going out with only meeting her twice before. Rather, I ended up having casual small talk with both the roomie and her. It also felt like a date with both of them that went horribly wrong. Is this normal procedure, have I missed something. I can see maybe after 10 dates when we are both comfortable with each other that she wants her dating partner to meet her friends and vice versa, not two. How would she like it if I took my friend along and went all went out together?
Maybe, other people can feel comfortable after 2 dates, but I need a lot longer to really feel cool with meeting her hot roommate. If she wasn’t up for another date, she shouldn’t have gone out again. I guess it was poor judgment on her part.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Extravagant friday night Bar Mitzvah
As I walked into the main hall which looked liked more like an ice bar with blue glowing stands, than a bar mitzvah reception, along with the 250 other guests, we were greeted by 42 waiters in crisp dry cleaned jackets all standing in synch, with the fancy dishes and way to many silverware to count. All I can think is, damn, there are a lot of waiters here. Eventually I got accustomed to the abundance of waiters; I was all set for the food. We started off with this huge square piece of gefilte fish wrapped up like a gift box with a bow (made out of celery) and flower on top. I must say, the fish was pretty good and that was just the beginning. Oh, let talk about the drinks for a bit. So, everyone got those vintage 8 ounce glass bottles of coke instead of the normal 2 litter bottle for the table. That’s not all; I was worried once I had one, that was it. Each time I polished one down, within 2 minutes the waiter swapped it with a new bottle. So the soup and main course was the regular food you have in most places, but then they came around with spare ribs. Now that’s what im talking about. Oh, and then of course the 3 options of desert, which was awesome.
The next morning, I along, with some other people I had spoken with had some stomach issues. That didn’t stop me from eating at the Kiddush, which was way out of control. Im talking about the 20 minute wait for the cholent, kugal, corn beef, and pieces of tongue, six flavors of herring with the coolest guys of flatbush And may I add they catered a fine selection of liquor for these hockers (although I downed a shot or 2 myself). I stuck around for lunch, was pretty nice, but nothing that wasn’t mentioned already (8 ounce soda bottles and 3 different types of schnitzel). All I can say, that was one of those extravagant bar mitzvahs I have ever attended, maybe im just not as classy as some people, especially for a bar mitzvah that took place Friday night.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Frum girls - Dress like its almost summer!
I really admire their uniqueness, creativity, and common sense. Don’t you girls want to look prettier? You don’t want to scare away people. It can even boost your self confidence. Now, how about showing some skin!
Monday, May 7, 2007
My Israel day parade/ concert recap
As I made my rounds through the crowds of fellow jews, I met some friends, and people I haven’t seen in a while. That was all fun, but all I can say, thank g-d I didn’t burst out a craving to have some Dougies. Have you seen that line? That was longer than a ladies bathroom line at Yankees stadium. Half the damn concert was on queue, and probably spent the entire time waiting. I have a question: why can’t they get more vendors? Is it because Dougies can buy out the rights to be the only kosher stand there therefore causing hundreds (maybe thousands) have to suffer? They should have had more vendors. I guess this is where Dougies gets most of their income from, due to all their stores are closing down and losing tons of business. How about this Dougies--make better food, lower your damn prices, and clean the place up a bit, then maybe ill come back to you guys...Maybe next year, the concert organizers can figure out a way to make it less lame and bring in more kosher stands.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Cool jews at the israel day parade
Im excited about the Israeli day parade and concert this weekend. Probably not for the same reason as most people. You know the love of Israel and the love of Jews. Well actually I do love Jews. I love seeing all different kinds of us folks. All year round, all I see are the regular Flatbush and boro parker roaming the streets. But they all look exactly the same; they all dress the same, act the same, work in the same profession. Once a year, I can see the rest of us. And we are such a diverse bunch, makes me wonder again, why I am still in living Brooklyn. It can also make me wonder why the girls are so much hotter outside of Brooklyn. It is also the time to wonder and ramble to oneself while the groups are marching, “who the hell knew there were that many jew folks out from long island or new jersey”. What always amazes me, of how Brooklyn in the minority on this day. For some reason the Jews from the suburbs look less jewish, more assimilated, than those within city limits. One of my favorite parts of last year was the jewish bikers group. A huge group of these mean, yet cool looking motor cycle enthusiastics. I feel more of an American than a Jewish minority that day. We are just like them. Down with the people who say we shouldn’t be like the goyim by not acting and dressing like them.
The concert however, is fun and relaxing. Meet some old friends, old dates, but for some reason I enjoy the parade better. Maybe the speeches bore me and are long enough and opinionated enough to annoy the hell out of me. But sometimes the music is not half bad. Also, the concert seems like 1 big pick up joint. Every one is hitting on everyone. The parade, I enjoy walking block to block, seeing Jews of all ages from all over the tri state area while viewing the marching.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Frat boys in flatbush??
Wondering if they ever made it to the party, I finally make my way to shul thinking that doesn’t happen on my block everyday.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Dating older chics?
I recently agreed to go out with a girl about 3 years older than i am. Although there was convincing and guilt giving while asking me, i finally agreed to give it a shot. I have never dated an older girl before. Well maybe i have, but usually it was no more than a few months older. I mean that's kind of a big number when I'm in my mid 20's. Maybe if i was 50 and she was 53, it wouldn't sound so bad. Perhaps people are going to think we doing the Ashton kutcher / Demi Doore kinda thing. Although, the gap isn't that big and it probably wont end up in the tabloids.
I don't think its going to go anywhere, but my thinking is 'what the worst that can happen', all it is a a cup of coffee, right? In fact im hoping she can match me up with a younger friend of hers. I hope its not wrong of me to go into a date in hopes of having her match me up. For this too work, either shes gonna have to look and act younger to soop to my level because i sure as hell cant soop to being a mature 25 year old. And to tell you the truth I think i look and act younger than 25. I guess we'll find out.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Is suburban Flatbush life over?
A developer ended up purchasing this house as a business proposition. He plans to build two three family houses on the lot. That is six new families. If our lack of parking was already pushing its limits, this will definitely take it over the edge. Also, another slew of possibly 30 more kids screaming and running around. Say goodbye to all their bushes and beautiful greenery that is surrounding that house. They want to make my block like 16th Ave., where they pile as many yashivash families as they can into condominiums. This frum businessman comes to my block to profit off of our expense. What does he care, he's not going to live there. I am trying to prevent this from happening, although I'm not having much luck. It looks like suburban Flatbush living is pretty much over.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Engaged girls with out rings?
Ok, so I hate to admit I don’t approach girls as often as I should. I guess that can be a combination of my shyness and fear of rejection. But yesterday, I tried to overcome my fear and defeat my shyness. As I was davending or at least being in shul where I was suppose to be davending, I couldn’t help but notice a nice young girl on the other side of the mechitza. After davending ended, I still couldn’t help but notice, she appeared to be alone. As I watch her make her way downstairs and into the Kiddush, she was still alone and kept and looking back at me. So, I’m like, that’s it. I approached her and started chatting her up. Like 10 minutes into our conversation, she breaks the news to me that shes engaged to a chasidshe guy and her fiancé has an aufruf somewhere. I’m thinking, she’s here alone in shul and enjoying our conversation, either shes lying or something is up with her and her fiancé. I then said, sorry I didn’t see a ring on your finger, and she said she left it home because she wanted people to come over to her because she was scared of being at a kiddish alone.
Her telling me this news didn’t stop us from talking, we continued on for another 20 minutes or so till I walked her back home. I asked if its ok to walk her, people may think something is weird, she responded something to the effect that I can be her cousin. Also to confirm that she wasn’t making stuff up, I asked my brother if he knows this guy she is suppose to be marrying in June. He does. Until the next girl I approach, hopefully that one won’t be engaged.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Who knew police officers are that interesting
For some reason, i also enjoy watching on yom tov when 20 little frum kids start asking them a million questions, and the officers are always eager to listen and answer their questions. I'm not sure what i would do if i had a bunch of frum kids asking me how many times i shot my gun and if ever killed anyone. But they seemed interested. I guess i have that child within me that finds the police so fascinating and always interesting to schmooze with when their standing around my corner (not so much when they are giving me a ticket).
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
How will I make it for 8 days without beer
As we approach Pesach, it gives me even more anxiety before and during the holiday. Im not talking about cleaning or any preparations for the big holiday, im talking about the mind set that I cant enjoy a good beer or down a slice of pizza at will. How will I make it through a day of work with out going to a bodega to pick me up a coffee. Some how I always make it through the rigorous 8 days just fine, but I start to think about for a week or 2 prior. Maybe by swallowing enough pizza and starbucks a day before, will make me not wanna have any of that for 8 days after. We shall see.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Hatzala guy demands his slushie!
I never had a police officer cut me at a dunkin donuts, maybe they are more respectful. That yellow jacket doesnt give them extra privileges every where. And dont get me started when they abuse theur sirens to go thru traffic and red lights so they can rush back to their garage or to mincha, or when their wives are behind the wheel and taking advantage of the sirens. Again, I am grateful for them and they do an awesome job.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Where are the middle of da road gals?
Where is the middle ground? Why cant there be some one with semi decent looks and can hold an interesting conversation with me. It was hard to hold a conversation, when every answer was the same “that’s so nice” or “that’s so sweet”. Not to mention, she was a lot more ‘white collar’ than I am, with her carrying a black berry and flies business class for business every other week. Where is that middle of the road girl, with the semi-decent job, the semi-decent looks, and semi-decent personality?
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
frum yogis just have no shame.
We go back to the dressing room while I get changed to go back home, he goes and takes a shower. So he hops into the shower naked for 10 seconds, I can ignore that. Then he comes out of the shower, with his unit still dangling starts reading some bulletin signs, and then he begins talking to me. He starts asking question for it seems like 5 min straight with out a thought in the world he still has nothing blocking his wanker. I am trying to answer his questions as briefly as possible and get my self ready as quickly as possible, while trying to avoid any eye contact down there.
I aint a homophobe, I just don’t feel comfortable talking about my life and what shul I davend in front of a naked a guy, while 5 other random guys are looking on. I may have to find a new place now for my yoga.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Why does Agudah consider good jews Koferim?
Can some one explain this one to me? Those that actually study torah all day and keep the torah are considered Koferim, while those from the frum world who don’t learn at all, or learn an hr or 2 hrs a day , those who know alot less than these fine jews, are considered great frum Jews. I am just trying to understand.
Friday, March 9, 2007
Frummies complain about their maids is a lot of hard work.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
fed up with the frum dating scene - m4w
I am already in my 30's.I am an honest and good-looking guy with a bright future.I have not even been on a date in over 2 years.The shadchanim dont return phone calls.The community looks down at you if you try to meet people on your own,then they call you a bum and smear your reputation.
But what is a person supposed to do.... I have been waiting for years for the shadchanim to call me back...... First they say... call me after Rosh Hashana.... after Rosh Hashana I call and they say they are busy getting ready for Sukkos..... same thing when Chanukah comes around.....then purim.....This week a shadchan called me crazy when I called her less that a month before Passover.Could you imagine what would happen if a shadchan brought her sick child to the doctor and the doctor said "sorry I cant help you because its 3 weeks before pesach and I have lots of cleaning to do". There would be an uproar. I am tired of the excuses.
Being an Orthodox Jew is like being a member in a club.You pay your membership dues (living a life of torah and mitzvos and giving tzedokah) and then you are supposed to get benefits (community support,aliyahs on shabbos,help with shidduchim) I feel like I am being asked to pay my dues, but when I ask for services I am shut out and treated like an animal.
It is my goal in life to be married and raise children in a healthy structured environment.I feel that when I tell this to people, they laugh at me.All the married men say "believe me young man, you dont want to get married". If that is true then WHY ARE THEY MARRIED!!!! If it is so bad they should divorce their wives!Could you imagine if someone told you grapefruits taste horrible, but they still eat grapefruits? What hypocrits!
I have already brought my case to Hashem.I davened at the Kotel and at the kever of Reb Yonasson ben Uzziel.And guess what? My prayers have gone unanswered, just like my calls to the shadchanim. So ladies and gentlemen, I dont mean to be graphic, but if I want to have children I must do it before I start shooting blanks.So I decided it is time to widen the pool of prospective wives.
Here is the bottom line: If I dont have a date with a Jewish girl by Saturday night, then Sunday morning I will go to St. Patricks cathedral and convert to Christianity.This is not a craigslist frum ad parody, I am serious. Have a nice day!
Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/290360130.html
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
my Purim in flatbush recap.
I also decided not to get drunk on Purim day, after some experiences of getting way sick from drinking too much wine. I did however drank some the night before, but it was all on mixed vodka drinks, where you dont get sick and vomit, like you would on wine. There was a funny instance which happened in the morning during laining, where the gabai of landaus shul started yelling at some random boro parker who began selling aliyahs. there was some pushing and shoving during the after affect. But eventually shul ended, and i was able to go back to my stress free day of Purim.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Why do frummies likes talking with their hands?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Im gonna attempt to do this tagging thing
I hate purim in flatbush!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Has the flatbush snobs all moved to the 30's?
It had recently occurred to me that the 30’s are now worse than the 20’s. Maybe I just got so accustomed to their attitude I don’t even view it as assholeism. While walking in the area this weekend, I was pleasantly surprised of the good shabbos I was getting while walking in the 20’s. That all stopped once I reached Nostrand ave however. There was like a devil waiting there with a stop sign and diverting all the assholes into the thirties. Not one implication that I actually existed over there. Isn’t this the ‘new’ cool neighborhood where all the newly married folks are moving to where houses are under a million dollars? Someone suggested the idea that these people are the children of the 20’s. Then ill be damned to say that their children are now bigger snobs than their parents. Maybe it’s the proposition that the children will one day take over daddy’s business, then once they have enough money will move back into the twenties. The cycle of life, I see.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Clean up flatbush from all the garbage!
I remember like 3 years ago seeing signs on lamp posts promoting a campaign for ‘Beautify Brooklyn” or Flatbush, or something like that. It didn’t do much, but we need to do more. The area looks more like Measharim than Brooklyn. It’s as if people don’t care. The city has to provide more garbage cans or clean them out more frequently. The store owners have to know they can’t just dumb their crap where ever they feel like it. Everyday, I see the same glob of left over food smack in the middle of the sidewalk. Im ashamed to live in such a disgusting place; where people don’t care about their neighbors and the city. I am sure if I walk into many of these peoples homes, they’ll be spotless. It’s an extremely selfish mentality which they have to change.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
If i can choose my own religion?
If I was born a catholic and had the ministers all teach their way of living, which is what I would’ve become. I am not jewish or frum by choice, it was the only way I was taught to be, which is how many religious families are. They teach their young ones about their religion, while leaving everything else out of the equation. If we had every being brought up with out any religion, then by a certain age we have some one try and sell them their religion, and this is way their going to live for the rest of their lives. How many do you think would choose Judaism? It’s a tough question, eh.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Getting stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel sucks!
I entered the tunnel with a battery light on and airbag light on but prayed that i can at least make in to the city and ill worry about it then. Unfortunately, about halfway through, my car gave up all will to give me any gas and slowly went to a standstill. As i watch the car behind me in the right lane wait in frustration, he gave up and crossed the double white line as well as all the other cars behind him. I began calling AAA and telling them what happened, but midway through the call, i see lights behind me and a man exit the truck and come up to me in the left lane. Apparently the Port Authority has cameras in there and watch for shit like this to happen. I was wondering how he can walk like that in middle of the tunnel, i soon learn the emergency crew blocked off both lanes.
He asked me some questions and then tells me to put the car in neutral and hes going to push me out via the left lane. There is no worse feeling than watching all the cars pass you in the newly opened right lane with such anger. I made sure all of my windows were closed (last time i got ice cubes thrown at my car) and not look directly at them. I finally get pushed to the emergency garage right out side the tunnel and await further help. Getting stuck sucks.
Frummies and their bluetooth
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Why dont frum people put their pictures on facebook?
Friday, February 16, 2007
Frum firm gets busted in real estate scam
See for yourself - http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5039349
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Why do frum girls wear high heels in snow?
Monday, February 12, 2007
What if everyone was super tall?
Friday, February 9, 2007
My first critic of my blog deserves a posting!
First off, you chose to remain anonymous, either because you are worried, I, or some other bloggers may see all the flaws and lameness of your own blog. Or it can be because you don’t have a blog because you’re worried about people criticizing your writing.
I entertain myself pretty well with this blog. This blog seems to be a little microcosm of what goes on in your brain.
In case, you are new to blogging like me, allow me to explain why many people choose to blog. People use it as a tool to have a public diary of ones own life, and if other people choose to read it, so be it. This may mean they have their own personal views and opinions which not everyone may agree on, but many others may find interesting and entertaining.
You aren't funny. You are clearly witless.
Regardless of your opinion if you think whether some of my postings are funny or witty enough for you, some of them are not meant for humor. You comment in a posting which is serious and real, and individuals marriages are at stake because of religious matters. That is no laughing better. Although, many people do think many of my postings are funny.
You also seem some kind of axe to grind with the jewish yeshiva system and women in general
Again, if you have a disagreement with my views, you are free to disagree with me and state your valid points. There is no need to criticize the entire blog because of it. I stated valid points, where are yours? In addition, I don’t criticize; I question and try to get a better understanding of people. Unfortunately, the yeshiva system isn’t flawless, and I am quoting my personal opinions on what needs to be changed. As for the grind on women, I question specific groups of frum women, not women as a whole. Please be careful with what you write.
It also seems like you are obviously trying to copy another very popular blog but are failing miserably!
There are 30 million blogs out there, forgive me if some of them sound similar. And explain what you mean by failing miserably. This blog is 2 weeks old and I am getting hundreds of hits, some one is reading it and commenting; including yourself. Then again, people are to blog for themselves, not for others.