Thinking about a blogging hiatus

Ok, I was thinking of either deleting this blog all together, or just take a break for a while while leaving it up just just in case I decide to write some thing else down the road. At least if I leave it up, if I ever change my mind I can always come back. Or just like other bloggers out there where they claim they won't blog for a while, they end up writing something 2 weeks later. So who knows whats going to happen.


All I know is that I began this blog as a place to vent some frustrations in my life whether its dating, Flatbush life, or frumkeit has a whole. That has worked out well but over time like an idiot I have told personal friends about it and they sometimes check it out regularly. But sometimes what I write on here is then questioned in real life, which defeated the whole purpose of the blog. I didn’t want people I know questioning me outside my blog. Now every time I write something, I have to think if someone I know will call me and ask me why I said that and ask why so angry. It didn’t all happen now, but for a while now. I used to write more personal stuff, now I try and write more generally or write something that I don’t want people I know read and think about it. I liked it better when I was more anonymous so people didnt question my posts and people i didnt know could respond appropriately.

Luckily, there are many more blogs on these topics to keep you busy during your boring 9-5 jobs.. So, that said I hope to come back soon.

Lazy frummies dont mind 3 day yom tovim

After working three day work weeks the past month, I became really accustomed to it. Now that the holidays are over, and the next one in sight for which I have to take for I assume is Pesach, it’s going to be real hard to get back to normal schedule. No more of those long 3 days of eating, sleeping, walking, and more sleeping. Although after 1 day of that I was getting antsy of not being able to do much besides doing the aforementioned. I guess for the real frummie people who don’t work, or don’t do any outdoor activities and don’t have a TV anyways; these yom tovim isn’t really much different. I don’t think it really matter if they sit on their ass in the Beis Medrash all day on a regular day or a holiday. But someone who does all of those, it has a huge impact being stuck in building or area 3 days straight. When I am stuck in the office building all day, I have to take at least 3 walking breaks outside just to keep my sanity.

Now, I won’t have to worry about being stuck for yom tov 3 days straight for a while so, I think be ok. But working the normal 5 day work week, well, to be honest ill never get used to that.

How dare me eat bread outside a sukka

Not everyone is so fortunate to have a succah right near their work. Some people are very frum and won’t eat real food all day for this reason. I am not one of those people. I get hungry by lunch time and not going to walk 25 minutes to get to some public sukkah which my might be filled with bunch of kiddies on their chol hamoed outing. I am also someone who still likes to eat outside. So I will eat my food outside near my office outside and have people watching. I find it very difficult to keep this law and theres lot worse things in this world some one can do. It is always interesting to watch the frum people that walk by me and give me this look as I eat my yummy sandwich as if I just murdered someone. How dare I eat this outside a sukka in public?

New SYAS stalker-free feature

I am currently not a member of Saw You At Sinai, but I was once was so I still receive their emails. This one came to me recently with their new feature. The stalker matchmaker and matches feature. Thank you SYAS for this wonderful feature. Maybe now ill join. So if you were being stalked by a matchmaker what better way to improve your relationship with them to help you finding your bashert, then by completely not allowing them to contact you or match you up with any of their girls. And if there was a girl who was getting mixed signals and didn’t understand ‘I don’t think it’s a good match’ the first three times you told her, you can now block them and tell them piss off. Or if one matchmaker some how attract only the ugly girls and guys, you can now prevent this. Lets not work on client/matchmaker relationship, lets take the frummie way; take the easy way out. Ignore the problem and take the lazy way. Brilliant!


For those not on their list, I have copied the email below.

Dear ****

We're excited to introduce two new features to you: "Blocked Member" and "Blocked Matchmaker". These features will now give you the option to prevent certain matches that you do not wish to receive, from being sent to you. This way they will not take up any of your match spaces, and enable you to receive better quality matches.

What are these new features? Where can I find them? How do they work?

On the left hand side of your member home page you will see the options of 'Blocked Members' and 'Blocked Matchmakers'

Blocked Members: Here you can insert the information of the specific people you do not wish to be sent as a potential match (e.g. an ex wife/husband, friend, relative, or someone you previously dated). This will help prevent awkward potential suggestions that you know that you would not want to have. You enter the names of the people and the system will automatically block the matches from being suggested.

Blocked Matchmakers: By viewing a specific matchmaker's profile information (This can be found by choosing 'matchmaker' on the top tool bar, and searching by matchmaker name) you can select the option to block this matchmaker from viewing your profile and sending you matches. This function can be used if you do not want particular matchmakers seeing your information (e.g. You are not comfortable with a particular matchmaker, who is on the site, seeing your private data or you are not happy with the matches that a certain matchmaker is sending you and do not want more matches from that matchmaker.)

These features have been created not to limit the number of matches that you receive, but to improve the suitability of your matches.

As usual, the improvements to the site come from the members so thank you once again for your valuable feedback and contributions to improving the service.

We hope you enjoy using these new features.

Warm Regards,

The SYAS Team

My thoughts of Yom Kippur

Maybe its wrong of me not to look forward to this dreadful holiday, as I am sure many of you out there as well. But now I feel super relieved. Relieved that is over and do not have to look forward to fasting 25 hours and sitting in shul all day. On the positive side, hoping my sins got atoned, I can now start sinning again. And hope if im still around next yom kippur, I can atone for them again. During yom kippur when I was younger I used to rationalize of how after its over, three days later would be succos and ill be off and its going to legendary. Now that im working everyday its not succos, its not as legendary. Its not like I hate it, I just don’t look forward to it like I used to when I was in Yeshiva. Its just something I havta do.

Another thought that came up, why some shuls don’t have any breaks and sometimes go a complete hour after the fast is over to blow shofar. Are they trying to prove other shuls they are frummer them because they can say the words slower that slow. Or because they can fast an extra hour for absultety no reason. Luckily I was in a normal shul that blew shofar on schedule and had a decent break. Despite the genious black mantenence guy who didn’t know, put the cake and juice out an hour early, so I had to stare at the cake for most of neila and drool. You know I wasn’t that hungry until that happened. Plus I sat right next to the table so made it even more difficult on concetrating on the neila. But like I said earlier, I don’t have to worry about this again till next year. Yee haaw.

What are the responsibilities for a Rabbi of a shul?

I recently had a debate with a friend of mine, Lance, regarding the Rabbi of his shul, who was hired last year. The problem now is some board members want to fire him. Over the past few months they have complained of his lateness to shacharis in the morning, which as a Rabbi of a shul this is unacceptable. On top of that, they are having a hard time getting a minyan and he often constitutes the final 10.

Lance insists he is a great Rabbi to seek guidance from and very knowledgeable. He also lauds his weekly shiur, and therefore Lance is against his possible firing.

The debate we are having is what exactly a Rabbi's responsibilities are. My argument is a if a Rabbi of a shul should lead by example and maintain order, while offering guidance in other issues is an added bonus.

When I say leading by example, I mean coming on time and not talking. If there is too much talking in the shul, it is the rabbi’s job to try and keep it a minimum. I know the Rav of my modern shul stops laining if it gets too loud. A shul needs some kind of leadership. Despite us being adults, there still needs someone in charge. Imagine if an entire shul came a half an hour late. Imagine an entire shul talking so loud you can hear it from a block away. It's the Rabbi’s job to make sure those things don't happen be managing and leading the way. That can only work if he comes in on time every time (even early) and not talk ever during davening (while making sure others don’t talk as well).

Sorry Lance, this rabbi has got to go. Despite his very or even too ‘approachable’ attitude and his knowledge, a shul can not have a slacker for a Rabbi. Why should I come on time, why should I stop talking if the leader of my shul is doing the same thing as me?

Muslims are better prayers?

Not that I’m converting to Islam anytime soon, although quite the contrary, but its interesting to note. I was talking earlier to my Muslim coworker regarding his Ramadan this month; what it actually entails and how hard it is for him. It’s always interesting listening to their side and sort of comparing it to my own religion. We never really discuss Israel, just Jews and Muslims as a religion.

As every one knows, they fast for 30 days during the day then eat at night. That itself sounds really hard. I can just imagine yesterday 30 days straight. Although yesterday’s fast wasn’t super hard (also it can be because we ate for 3 days straight which helped a bit), but I can’t imagine doing that everyday for 30 days. That’s a lot of days. He wakes up at 4 am to eat as if it’s the most normal of habits. Whenever we have these fast days, I personally eat a big meal before I go to bed at midnight so not to wake up extra early in the morning.

Besides the fast, they have a 2 hour prayer every night starting at 9 PM. The time I am usually implanted on my bed watching the tube, they are at mosque. I complain about selichos with the extra 30 min for a week, they are praying 2 hours a night (in addition to their other prayers) for 30 days straight. But he says every person comes on time, turns off their cell phone, and not a sound is heard for 2 hours. I can’t remember the last shul I have been to where that happened. Maybe I am just used to my Flatbush shul, roll in 5 or 10 min late, schmooze with some people then get down to business for a few minutes then schmooze a little more, (watch the important people check their blackberries every 10 minutes when its not shabbos), maybe I am just antzy to sit still for that long.

After talking to him, I couldnt help but think about this. For some reason I believe him that this actually goes on at the mosque. I think it’s kind of odd that there is more respect and devoted people at the mosques than we have at our frum shuls.