Listen kids - you dont always have to listen to the Rabbis!

I know it’s been a while since I blogged, and no, I am not sure if I am making a come back, but I just didn’t want to leave it blank forever an dleave some people hanging and my job has been kinda lame since I stopped. It’s also not like I have been doing anything productive since I stopped writing.

Part of this post is to rebell a recent article someone told me he saw in the Jewish Observer. The article, written by a yeshivisha guy, blasted bloggers that write about putting down frumkeit and rabbonim and how it is hurting the younger generation. All I can think, how can I stop and not help out his cause at all cost. I must go back and piss them off more. I still have anger on the Rabonim and frumkeit as a whole; I must still continue to write bad things about the Rabbis and help ‘damage’ the minds of younger generation. This is what makes me sleep better at night.

How dare Frum Jews think for them selves? How dare frum jews find a way to make their point and have people hear it at will. How dare we question the higher authorities? Although I was glad to hear some of the comments were blasting the writer, but its still disturbing to hear that there are junkies out there who are scared of people realizing the “rabonim’ are not always right and we have a right to ask questions and argue and not ‘do as they say’. So kids, what have you learnt here; “Don’t always trust the Rabonim”! Now I can sleep tonight.

Thinking about a blogging hiatus

Ok, I was thinking of either deleting this blog all together, or just take a break for a while while leaving it up just just in case I decide to write some thing else down the road. At least if I leave it up, if I ever change my mind I can always come back. Or just like other bloggers out there where they claim they won't blog for a while, they end up writing something 2 weeks later. So who knows whats going to happen.


All I know is that I began this blog as a place to vent some frustrations in my life whether its dating, Flatbush life, or frumkeit has a whole. That has worked out well but over time like an idiot I have told personal friends about it and they sometimes check it out regularly. But sometimes what I write on here is then questioned in real life, which defeated the whole purpose of the blog. I didn’t want people I know questioning me outside my blog. Now every time I write something, I have to think if someone I know will call me and ask me why I said that and ask why so angry. It didn’t all happen now, but for a while now. I used to write more personal stuff, now I try and write more generally or write something that I don’t want people I know read and think about it. I liked it better when I was more anonymous so people didnt question my posts and people i didnt know could respond appropriately.

Luckily, there are many more blogs on these topics to keep you busy during your boring 9-5 jobs.. So, that said I hope to come back soon.

Lazy frummies dont mind 3 day yom tovim

After working three day work weeks the past month, I became really accustomed to it. Now that the holidays are over, and the next one in sight for which I have to take for I assume is Pesach, it’s going to be real hard to get back to normal schedule. No more of those long 3 days of eating, sleeping, walking, and more sleeping. Although after 1 day of that I was getting antsy of not being able to do much besides doing the aforementioned. I guess for the real frummie people who don’t work, or don’t do any outdoor activities and don’t have a TV anyways; these yom tovim isn’t really much different. I don’t think it really matter if they sit on their ass in the Beis Medrash all day on a regular day or a holiday. But someone who does all of those, it has a huge impact being stuck in building or area 3 days straight. When I am stuck in the office building all day, I have to take at least 3 walking breaks outside just to keep my sanity.

Now, I won’t have to worry about being stuck for yom tov 3 days straight for a while so, I think be ok. But working the normal 5 day work week, well, to be honest ill never get used to that.

How dare me eat bread outside a sukka

Not everyone is so fortunate to have a succah right near their work. Some people are very frum and won’t eat real food all day for this reason. I am not one of those people. I get hungry by lunch time and not going to walk 25 minutes to get to some public sukkah which my might be filled with bunch of kiddies on their chol hamoed outing. I am also someone who still likes to eat outside. So I will eat my food outside near my office outside and have people watching. I find it very difficult to keep this law and theres lot worse things in this world some one can do. It is always interesting to watch the frum people that walk by me and give me this look as I eat my yummy sandwich as if I just murdered someone. How dare I eat this outside a sukka in public?

New SYAS stalker-free feature

I am currently not a member of Saw You At Sinai, but I was once was so I still receive their emails. This one came to me recently with their new feature. The stalker matchmaker and matches feature. Thank you SYAS for this wonderful feature. Maybe now ill join. So if you were being stalked by a matchmaker what better way to improve your relationship with them to help you finding your bashert, then by completely not allowing them to contact you or match you up with any of their girls. And if there was a girl who was getting mixed signals and didn’t understand ‘I don’t think it’s a good match’ the first three times you told her, you can now block them and tell them piss off. Or if one matchmaker some how attract only the ugly girls and guys, you can now prevent this. Lets not work on client/matchmaker relationship, lets take the frummie way; take the easy way out. Ignore the problem and take the lazy way. Brilliant!


For those not on their list, I have copied the email below.

Dear ****

We're excited to introduce two new features to you: "Blocked Member" and "Blocked Matchmaker". These features will now give you the option to prevent certain matches that you do not wish to receive, from being sent to you. This way they will not take up any of your match spaces, and enable you to receive better quality matches.

What are these new features? Where can I find them? How do they work?

On the left hand side of your member home page you will see the options of 'Blocked Members' and 'Blocked Matchmakers'

Blocked Members: Here you can insert the information of the specific people you do not wish to be sent as a potential match (e.g. an ex wife/husband, friend, relative, or someone you previously dated). This will help prevent awkward potential suggestions that you know that you would not want to have. You enter the names of the people and the system will automatically block the matches from being suggested.

Blocked Matchmakers: By viewing a specific matchmaker's profile information (This can be found by choosing 'matchmaker' on the top tool bar, and searching by matchmaker name) you can select the option to block this matchmaker from viewing your profile and sending you matches. This function can be used if you do not want particular matchmakers seeing your information (e.g. You are not comfortable with a particular matchmaker, who is on the site, seeing your private data or you are not happy with the matches that a certain matchmaker is sending you and do not want more matches from that matchmaker.)

These features have been created not to limit the number of matches that you receive, but to improve the suitability of your matches.

As usual, the improvements to the site come from the members so thank you once again for your valuable feedback and contributions to improving the service.

We hope you enjoy using these new features.

Warm Regards,

The SYAS Team

My thoughts of Yom Kippur

Maybe its wrong of me not to look forward to this dreadful holiday, as I am sure many of you out there as well. But now I feel super relieved. Relieved that is over and do not have to look forward to fasting 25 hours and sitting in shul all day. On the positive side, hoping my sins got atoned, I can now start sinning again. And hope if im still around next yom kippur, I can atone for them again. During yom kippur when I was younger I used to rationalize of how after its over, three days later would be succos and ill be off and its going to legendary. Now that im working everyday its not succos, its not as legendary. Its not like I hate it, I just don’t look forward to it like I used to when I was in Yeshiva. Its just something I havta do.

Another thought that came up, why some shuls don’t have any breaks and sometimes go a complete hour after the fast is over to blow shofar. Are they trying to prove other shuls they are frummer them because they can say the words slower that slow. Or because they can fast an extra hour for absultety no reason. Luckily I was in a normal shul that blew shofar on schedule and had a decent break. Despite the genious black mantenence guy who didn’t know, put the cake and juice out an hour early, so I had to stare at the cake for most of neila and drool. You know I wasn’t that hungry until that happened. Plus I sat right next to the table so made it even more difficult on concetrating on the neila. But like I said earlier, I don’t have to worry about this again till next year. Yee haaw.

What are the responsibilities for a Rabbi of a shul?

I recently had a debate with a friend of mine, Lance, regarding the Rabbi of his shul, who was hired last year. The problem now is some board members want to fire him. Over the past few months they have complained of his lateness to shacharis in the morning, which as a Rabbi of a shul this is unacceptable. On top of that, they are having a hard time getting a minyan and he often constitutes the final 10.

Lance insists he is a great Rabbi to seek guidance from and very knowledgeable. He also lauds his weekly shiur, and therefore Lance is against his possible firing.

The debate we are having is what exactly a Rabbi's responsibilities are. My argument is a if a Rabbi of a shul should lead by example and maintain order, while offering guidance in other issues is an added bonus.

When I say leading by example, I mean coming on time and not talking. If there is too much talking in the shul, it is the rabbi’s job to try and keep it a minimum. I know the Rav of my modern shul stops laining if it gets too loud. A shul needs some kind of leadership. Despite us being adults, there still needs someone in charge. Imagine if an entire shul came a half an hour late. Imagine an entire shul talking so loud you can hear it from a block away. It's the Rabbi’s job to make sure those things don't happen be managing and leading the way. That can only work if he comes in on time every time (even early) and not talk ever during davening (while making sure others don’t talk as well).

Sorry Lance, this rabbi has got to go. Despite his very or even too ‘approachable’ attitude and his knowledge, a shul can not have a slacker for a Rabbi. Why should I come on time, why should I stop talking if the leader of my shul is doing the same thing as me?

Muslims are better prayers?

Not that I’m converting to Islam anytime soon, although quite the contrary, but its interesting to note. I was talking earlier to my Muslim coworker regarding his Ramadan this month; what it actually entails and how hard it is for him. It’s always interesting listening to their side and sort of comparing it to my own religion. We never really discuss Israel, just Jews and Muslims as a religion.

As every one knows, they fast for 30 days during the day then eat at night. That itself sounds really hard. I can just imagine yesterday 30 days straight. Although yesterday’s fast wasn’t super hard (also it can be because we ate for 3 days straight which helped a bit), but I can’t imagine doing that everyday for 30 days. That’s a lot of days. He wakes up at 4 am to eat as if it’s the most normal of habits. Whenever we have these fast days, I personally eat a big meal before I go to bed at midnight so not to wake up extra early in the morning.

Besides the fast, they have a 2 hour prayer every night starting at 9 PM. The time I am usually implanted on my bed watching the tube, they are at mosque. I complain about selichos with the extra 30 min for a week, they are praying 2 hours a night (in addition to their other prayers) for 30 days straight. But he says every person comes on time, turns off their cell phone, and not a sound is heard for 2 hours. I can’t remember the last shul I have been to where that happened. Maybe I am just used to my Flatbush shul, roll in 5 or 10 min late, schmooze with some people then get down to business for a few minutes then schmooze a little more, (watch the important people check their blackberries every 10 minutes when its not shabbos), maybe I am just antzy to sit still for that long.

After talking to him, I couldnt help but think about this. For some reason I believe him that this actually goes on at the mosque. I think it’s kind of odd that there is more respect and devoted people at the mosques than we have at our frum shuls.

Disrespectful 9/11 protestors

I walked over to ground zero earlier on my lunch break to pay my respects to those that were lost six years ago. Although I’ve been there many times before as I work only a few blocks away, but I thought ill make sure to make it my business to go on the actual anniversary. But for some reason, I am always more disappointed on the actual anniversary (as I was equally disappointed last year when I stopped by for the 5th anniversary), than during any other day of the year. This day seems to bring almost as many protestors as there were mourners and visitors combined. These people claiming that it was an inside job. That evil bush and the evil government planned the attack. It’s amazing how many naïve media whores there are out there to actually think that actually happened. Never mind my personal opinion on that matter, but to have hundreds of them wearing their ‘9/11 investigates’ t-shirts screaming all around is really disrespectful and uncalled on the day when almost 2800 people died.

I usually try not to make this blog political, as it is not a political one, but certain situations like these get under my skin. This has nothing to do with frum people or Jewish people, as I am sure there were some of them as well in this group, but more of an American and New Yorker. I hope these protestors can take their idiotic beliefs elsewhere or yell on a different day and have more respect next year.

Frummie car salesmen

This weekend I decided to start looking for new wheels. Relying on other peoples car’s can only work for some time after wrecking my own, but now its time to get a new car. But as I look around Brooklyn, each guy seems more dishonest than the next. I went to this one frum place, thinking he’ll be a nice and honest salesman, I have been mistaken. After telling him the amount I want to spend, he starts convincing me to spend an extra 5,000 dollars and finance a newer and better car. He made valid points stating it will last longer and they are just a nicer and better cars. Well, bearded yeshivisha car salesman smoking and blowing it into my face as I was talking to him, if I was interested in doing that I would’ve asked you for a more expensive car. It doesn’t matter if I finance it or not. But the car he wanted to sell me for that price, I know I can get 5,000 dollars less.

Now, I wonder now if there are any trusts worthy car salesman. This is one fear of mine when buying a new car, is being ripped off. I guess I have to look for the one who will me rip me off the least. My last car was bought by an Israeli person, who I sorta trusted. So now, it’s a question who do I trust more of the 2 most dishonest groups of people, the Israeli’s or the yeshivish hocker man. Thinking about it now, those Indians or Italian salesmen don’t look all that trust worthy either.

Also yesterday, I was able to check out the under hyped, under crowded, and under marketed Jewish concert festival. I think this event is a much better version of the Israeli day concert/parade that took place back in May. Ill take the speechless, hippie Jewish crowd with Hebrew beer vendors over the political agenda, over crowded teenie bopper Israeli concert any day.

Frummies cry ant-semitism

I was reading this article like two weeks ago on some yeshivish website regarding PETA cracking down on kapores in Brooklyn. They showed a letter from PETA stating how these Kapores places are mistreating the chickens and need better care. Now, after reading the comments on that, I wasn’t sure if I should be angrier at the kapores centers or the frum people angry at PETA. I have been to these places and I can see how these chickens are being mistreated while being cooped up all day with a million other chickens in their bins then thrown around by these bearded men like it is a stuffed animal. So, I can easily see where this agency is coming from and why they want to crack down on this.

But many of the comments were putting down PETA and claiming that they are ‘just out to get the Jews’. Every time I hear that excuse when something doesn’t go there way, I grow another white hair. Once again do these so called ‘frum jews’ think they are above the law, similar to the riot in Boro Park when someone was illegally speaking on his cell phone while driving. If the law states it is illegal, it applies to everyone, even Jews. Not every single time the government cracks down on something you don’t like, can you cry Anti-Semitism? I remember reading one really ignorant comment saying that it is a ‘freedom of religion’ and how can they the government do this. Cuz it’s the damn law – that’s why.

And these people are so quick to use that rational when it’s gearing towards them. I bet these people aren’t so fast to use that defense when other religions are doing such practices. Imagine the Koran said to kill all the Jews because its freedom of religion. Ok, maybe that’s far fetched, but even a similar practice to kapores where an animal can be harmed in the process, lets see how many Jews say its ok to such practice because of their religion. My guess is none. Jews, Muslims, and Christians all have to obey the same laws and all have the same treatment in this great country of ours.

NY snobs in Europe

Note: Below is guest post from my friend and occasional editor, known here as Lance.

During my recent trip to Europe, after much angst I decided to take a minimalist approach and pack as little as possible. But I included a nice pair of slacks for my shabbos visit to the shul nearby the center of town.

I was surprised when I discovered a group of young guys from Queens. One of the guys actually brought his suit, but it was totally wrinkled because it had obviously been squished into his suitcase for several days.

I'm all for dressing up for shabbos and holidays, yet there has to be some point of practicality to the whole deal. I mean was this guy so obsessed with maintaining the Queens kewl guy look that he absolutely had to bring his snooty dark suit?

I understand that there's a thin line between classy and casual, but when on vacation I think most sane people understand that it's ok to take a minimalist approach.

Plus, what about when in Rome do as the Romans do? Almost everyone there had a nice button down shirt and slacks.

But what irked me more was that there was also a group a girls roughly the same age from Queens there as well. For some reason or other, we all failed to connect on Saturday night together, despite the fact that everyone was headed to the same direction and that they all casually knew each other.

Why is it that even hundreds of miles away from home we still can't all get along? Am I being to impractical? Why can't the commonality of being young, Jewish, around the same age be enough of a reason to want to join up together? Isn't it more fun that way?

Do guys have to pay for a girl on a faux date?

Does the guy pay for a girl even if their not dating? Every so often I hang out with this girl, despite us trying the dating route which didn’t work out, we continue to go places once in a while as we share similar interests. I don’t want to discuss whether platonic relationships can work out and whether this is one. That’s been covered already enough in the blogosphere, so there really isn’t a need for people to hear me speak about it. This is about whether a guy should pay for the girl when they do hang out as friends.

Recently I took a full day trip out of state with this lady friend (it was just us), and after I offered to pay for the gas, I would’ve assumed she would cover the tolls and her own admission fee. She did tell me a few times that she is going to pay me back for the expenses I laid out for her (even a souvenir), but the end result was, she didn’t give me any of the money. If this isn’t a date and we are not in a relationship and we are going strictly as friends, I should treat her like other guys I hang out when I drive with them, although most people give me the money without me asking for it. I am not the kind of guy to ask for the money at the end of the trip, I hope they are nice and honest enough to cough up with cash voluntarily. Am I being ungentlemanly about this?

Mornings and Marriage

Maybe it’s because I’m just not a morning person, but certain things scare me about the morning. For instance waking up in the mornings and being married. I don’t know enough about this and nor do I voyeur on couples morning habits, I guess the only evidence I have is from TV and movies.But the point I’m trying to make here I guess is that I really hate mornings and when I wake up because I hate being bothered and spoken to. I like my privacy. I like waking up and not having a million questions asked.

I’m a type of guy that won’t talk to anyone regarding anything for at least an hour after waking. This never really came up on dates, though. I guess its something not to brag about to a girl, such as telling someone, "Oh by the way I’m a cranky bitch in the morning, so if you’re not interested in another date I’ll understand."

I know I’m far from the only one who’s like this, but from TV, these couples wake up at the same time and start yapping the moment their eyes open. What amazes me is that these people hop out of bed in an instant.

Maybe this is just me, but I feel going to sleep alone is tons sadder than waking up alone. I love waking up alone with the quietness. If I’m off and my alarm clock isn’t waking me up, I'll probably rise at noon thinking it was 7 am. I guess in married life, if your spouse is an early waker upper, you’re pretty much screwed for life.

I remember speaking to some older married guy about this on a ski lift (great place to start schmoozing with random strangers you’ll never see again in your life) about this issue. He told me he and his wife have an understanding that he hates mornings as well and they don’t speak to each other until 10 a.m. or so. I think that’s brilliant. Although it may take time for it to work because they each wake up in the same room and use the same facilities and eat kind of near each other. But they can do it 5 or 10 min shifts.

It still gets me thinking every time I wake up and people start talking to me and asking me questions. One may wonder how this has anything to do with frumness, well it doesn’t, but NSF is without internet and is over thinking about life complications.

Editors note: Despite this post being posted at night, it was thought out and written in the morning.

Jews and arabs can get along

There was an interesting article in the USA Today like 2 days ago regarding good old flatbush . Nothing like some good free PR for our lovely community. Basically, they were saying how the orthodox Jews, the Muslims, and the Russians can all live side by side in peach and harmony, sans the dunkin donut incident. I was always waiting for an article about this to be written about the peace we have with our neighbors, and now finally the rest of this country can see how peaceful and civilized we can really be. The article also pointed out that the main reason is because what it comes down to, its all about business and not about one's beliefs. I'm OK with that. Which reminds me of reading about an article on Dubai a while ago, of how it is a welcoming city to the Jewish people as well, despite being in a pure Arabic country, because again, all it comes down to - they care more about making money than fighting. And what better religion to welcome into their desert than the wealthy Jewish business man. I was also pleased to see that many of the comments were positive towards Jews.

Also, I probably wont be able to blog much in the near future because my current job decided the block the internet, which occupied much of my dar. Now, i can have all day thinking on what to write about.

I wish I knew more non frummies

I was thinking recently, rather I’ve been thinking this way before, but was thinking about this again more recently; I regret I didn’t know more non-frum and non-jews when I was growing up. I’m sure I’m not the only one, as most frum people from Flatbush never really had the opportunity to associate themselves with people other then their type either. I regret this however. When I grew up, my block was always 90 percent Jewish, so whoever I played with were frum yeshivish kids. Then came yeshiva, and again obviously, all frum Jewish guys. This was like all the way through high school and Israel beis medrash. Then came college, that was another story, you moved from hanging around and associating with frum guys, to frum guys and frum girls. But still hard to become close friends and hang out with the non-frum crowd. Yes, I spoke too many of the non-Jews and joked around a lot, but still we never actually hung out after wards like I would do with my close frum friends. Why is this?

Whenever I speak too my non frum acquaintances, their surprised that everyone of my close friends are orthodox jews. I’m surprised as well. But I never really had the opportunity and it just ‘sorta happened’ like this from my up bringing. Now, being post-college, it’s a little bit more difficult to gaining new friends that share the same interests like me, not to mention the difficulty to gaining non-jewish people that share the same interest. I understand that there can be issues, such as if they want to eat out in their restaurants or hang out on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons, it can create some problems. But these issues can be looked over and just tell them the differences, and do stuff where there is no eating involved (although this too is easy to overcome, I’m totally cool with just having a beer while they eat in a non-kosher place) or hanging out on shabbos.

I know a lot of sheltered frummies are totally against this and one may start bringing down pesukim saying how its “associating oneself with a non-jew is bad and lead to bad stuff’, but this is my view. I wish I had a more diverse group of friends, and I don’t mean by the kind of suit and whether or not they wear a black hat.

Hey Yeshivish guy on a date - drink the water!

I briefly wrote about this on a comment on a post I saw on nice Jewish guy’s blog a few days ago, in which he wrote about a funny sign he saw offering separate classes for dating advice. It was funny because it reminded me what I saw on Sunday in the mountains (yes I went there after I ran the half). When I was having a family barbeque at this outdoor park near some bungalow colonies and camps, there was this really yeshivish couple on a date a table away from us in this gazebo type setting. I know I shouldn’t be staring and judging at other people’s dates, as I hope no one analyzes my dates, but it was too hard not to. First let’s mention their attire; this guy was wearing a whole suit, tie and hat while the girl was wearing this thick black dress and long sleeves during the date. I’m thinking this guy must be sweating his ass off. I was hot in just my t-shirt while he’s outside with a whole suit on. I don’t wear suits ever on any dates for a whole other issue, no matter the temperature, but there’s got to be some kind of leniency when its 90 degrees out there for those yeshivish folks, seriously. Where does it say that they have to be uncomfortable during the entire date?

Another thing I noticed while they were there, which was like an hour, none of them showed any bodily motion. No arms or head movements, nothing, I get restless 5 minutes into a date, I start changing my seating position for a more comfortable one, but this guy and girl was firm for the whole time. Also, they brought water with them to drink, right, but an hour later both waters were still sealed closed. There was this other family there having a barbeque who was also getting a kick out of this date, he began yelling “open the water”, he even offered some of their left over beer they had. They ignored their bickering. I found it funny, somewhat mean, but still entertaining. The date finally had enough of us making fun and staring, they went to another park down the road (I noticed them from the car when we left).

If it’s anyone who needs tips on dating and advice its people like these. I’m not saying I know everything about dating, hell ill be married if I did, but I definitely know how to actually enjoy and feel comfortable during my dates and actually drink the water I bring.

NSF runs the NYC half

As I slowly regain feeling in both my legs from yesterday’s NYC half marathon, I wonder why people run these races, and how in the world 38,000 people run the full 26.2 mile around the 5 boroughs. The good news is I actually finished the race and I did it in about two hours eleven minutes, which is good enough for me. The max time was 3 hours or else you’re out of the race, which I was terrified of having to be picked up by bus for the people who weren’t able to finish it in the allotted time.

So I woke up at 4.40 yesterday to make to my corral at 6 am, for a race start of 7 am. Let it be told I have never waked up that early on a Sunday morning. Nsf likes his sleep. So after I stretch and wait in the enclosed area of the park for 45 min or so, I stand in my corral with thousands of other people, my position is still about 6 blocks away from the actual starting line. I fully regret this decision but it’s too late now. I can barely hear the horn go off and still not moving for at least 2 min, I see we start walking slowly, then running slowly, I was thinking I can do this, then we stopped for another min then we walk again, then we began running and I knew this was it (exactly 8 minutes after the official starting time). No stopping now. For the first few miles it was so tight, I tried not to run over people and not runners come into me. I saw 1 frum girl there walking smack in the middle of the pack of runners, I’m ok with people walking during the race, I walked for a minute or so by mile 11 or so but don’t do it in the middle of the pack especially at the beginning of the race where it’s really crowded, she caused this huge back up.

Before the race, I was talking to some people who ran these things before and they were giving me tips, I remember one was ‘pace yourself thru the park and hold yourself back when you have an urge to go faster’, which pretty much helped me out through the 7 miles through the park. I did the park in a pace a bit slower than I usually go, because the most I ran was 7 or 8 miles (not 13.1) but felt really comfortable when I actually left the park. Which was also probably the best part of my race, coming from a semi quit park to screaming cheerers and live music bands playing on 7th ave, that definitely helped me out.. I was even comfortable going to the west side highway, and then about half way down the west side, I felt my legs acting up on me. Although walking thru most of the water stops and grabbing a cup, my legs began to tire up. I walked 1 min here then ran another 10 min, it was kind of working. Then I hear people yelling ‘its almost over, right over that hill’, what a load of crap that was. I went over that hill and saw a sign another mile to go.. Ahhhh. Then every time I thought it was over – it wasn’t, it was just another damn sign saying how close you are, but no finish line.. where the hell is finish line?

It finally came at last, but then they made us slowly walk for 3 blocks full of thousands of other people as they give me a cold towel, my medal, and they take off my chip. Oh, how thankful that’s over, but still thinking, how cool will a full marathon be.

Korn vs Tu B'av party

The last time I went to the Bangitout Tu B’av party was around two years ago. Since that time, I've had less interest in going to the way over hyped, full of themselves clique event of the year. This year instead I checked out a free Korn concert in lower Manhattan. That’s right--I chose a few thousand blue collared, tattooed, long haired, and smelly head bangers over a few hundred middle aged snotty foxy yids.

I was able to get a date the first time I attended the party, but was unsuccessful the year after. If you’re not aware of how it works, everyone gets a sticker with a unique number with your name on it and then you are SUPPOSED to put it on your shirt where other people (usually those of the opposite sex) can see it. Then if you like that person you write down their number, and if you both write their number down, well, you will each be contacted by the parties organizers the next day or so.

That sounds like a great idea, but many people hide their numbers or don’t wear their sticker. I remember the first time I was there I somehow ended up being with someone who knew someone, with this totally unattractive overweight older woman. But her sticker was covered by her hair. I told her that it was blocking the number and people are not able to see it if they want to approach you.

She nonchalantly replies, “It was placed like that strategically.” Is she serious?! Did she actually think I was interested in her, or does she think that too many people are going to go after her? None of that was going to happen! If you’re going to an event like this, you should appear as if you’re out there to meet people, and not think your some obnoxious bitch. Another line I always love hearing is when a girl says: “I don’t do these things, I’m just here to help out my friend.” Was she ashamed of being single? If you’re at the party at least try to attempt to have a good time and be honest.

Somehow, I find Korn fans a lot more honest than those Bangitout people. If you were at the party this year or previous years, I would like your hear your input as well.

Where do frum singles live in NY besides the city?

I've been thinking about moving out of my house for some time now, rather out of Flatbush. But every time I contemplate the move, I realize my options are limited. The obvious neighborhood to move to when one is still single post college would be the Upper West Side. But I don’t think I'm going to be moving there any time soon, because I think that the people there really suck. The next place would be Washington Heights. Then again, I’m not a YU guy and probably would feel out of place there. I also heard it’s very cliquey there. Is that is all? Only two places?

The only places I would love to move to locally would be Williamsburg (not the Chasidic part) and Park Slope. There is something about those places that really lure me. Maybe it’s because the grungy look or the ‘I don’t care what I wear’ look they give off, as opposed to the West Side always dressed to impress and their snotty attitude. If only there was a small Jewish singles scene in those two Brooklyn places who have that same chilled out outlook in life. I can overlook their liberal political outlook. The rent is another issue. Every Jewish singles area is so expensive, but I think Brooklyn is a drop less expensive, but I’m sure it's still ridiculously pricey. What's a simple frum Jewish single guy to do?