The rantings of a frum guy who speaks his mind

Listen kids - you dont always have to listen to the Rabbis!

2007-12-13T12:14:00.000-05:00

I know it’s been a while since I blogged, and no, I am not sure if I am making a come back, but I just didn’t want to leave it blank forever an dleave some people hanging and my job has been kinda lame since I stopped. It’s also not like I have been doing anything productive since I stopped writing.

Part of this post is to rebell a recent article someone told me he saw in the Jewish Observer. The article, written by a yeshivisha guy, blasted bloggers that write about putting down frumkeit and rabbonim and how it is hurting the younger generation. All I can think, how can I stop and not help out his cause at all cost. I must go back and piss them off more. I still have anger on the Rabonim and frumkeit as a whole; I must still continue to write bad things about the Rabbis and help ‘damage’ the minds of younger generation. This is what makes me sleep better at night.

How dare Frum Jews think for them selves? How dare frum jews find a way to make their point and have people hear it at will. How dare we question the higher authorities? Although I was glad to hear some of the comments were blasting the writer, but its still disturbing to hear that there are junkies out there who are scared of people realizing the “rabonim’ are not always right and we have a right to ask questions and argue and not ‘do as they say’. So kids, what have you learnt here; “Don’t always trust the Rabonim”! Now I can sleep tonight.

Thinking about a blogging hiatus

2007-10-12T16:24:00.000-05:00

Ok, I was thinking of either deleting this blog all together, or just take a break for a while while leaving it up just just in case I decide to write some thing else down the road. At least if I leave it up, if I ever change my mind I can always come back. Or just like other bloggers out there where they claim they won't blog for a while, they end up writing something 2 weeks later. So who knows whats going to happen.

All I know is that I began this blog as a place to vent some frustrations in my life whether its dating, Flatbush life, or frumkeit has a whole. That has worked out well but over time like an idiot I have told personal friends about it and they sometimes check it out regularly. But sometimes what I write on here is then questioned in real life, which defeated the whole purpose of the blog. I didn’t want people I know questioning me outside my blog. Now every time I write something, I have to think if someone I know will call me and ask me why I said that and ask why so angry. It didn’t all happen now, but for a while now. I used to write more personal stuff, now I try and write more generally or write something that I don’t want people I know read and think about it. I liked it better when I was more anonymous so people didnt question my posts and people i didnt know could respond appropriately.

Luckily, there are many more blogs on these topics to keep you busy during your boring 9-5 jobs.. So, that said I hope to come back soon.

Lazy frummies dont mind 3 day yom tovim

2007-10-10T08:39:00.000-05:00

After working three day work weeks the past month, I became really accustomed to it. Now that the holidays are over, and the next one in sight for which I have to take for I assume is Pesach, it’s going to be real hard to get back to normal schedule. No more of those long 3 days of eating, sleeping, walking, and more sleeping. Although after 1 day of that I was getting antsy of not being able to do much besides doing the aforementioned. I guess for the real frummie people who don’t work, or don’t do any outdoor activities and don’t have a TV anyways; these yom tovim isn’t really much different. I don’t think it really matter if they sit on their ass in the Beis Medrash all day on a regular day or a holiday. But someone who does all of those, it has a huge impact being stuck in building or area 3 days straight. When I am stuck in the office building all day, I have to take at least 3 walking breaks outside just to keep my sanity.

Now, I won’t have to worry about being stuck for yom tov 3 days straight for a while so, I think be ok. But working the normal 5 day work week, well, to be honest ill never get used to that.

How dare me eat bread outside a sukka

2007-10-02T10:46:00.000-05:00

Not everyone is so fortunate to have a succah right near their work. Some people are very frum and won’t eat real food all day for this reason. I am not one of those people. I get hungry by lunch time and not going to walk 25 minutes to get to some public sukkah which my might be filled with bunch of kiddies on their chol hamoed outing. I am also someone who still likes to eat outside. So I will eat my food outside near my office outside and have people watching. I find it very difficult to keep this law and theres lot worse things in this world some one can do. It is always interesting to watch the frum people that walk by me and give me this look as I eat my yummy sandwich as if I just murdered someone. How dare I eat this outside a sukka in public?

New SYAS stalker-free feature

2007-09-26T10:39:00.000-05:00

I am currently not a member of Saw You At Sinai, but I was once was so I still receive their emails. This one came to me recently with their new feature. The stalker matchmaker and matches feature. Thank you SYAS for this wonderful feature. Maybe now ill join. So if you were being stalked by a matchmaker what better way to improve your relationship with them to help you finding your bashert, then by completely not allowing them to contact you or match you up with any of their girls. And if there was a girl who was getting mixed signals and didn’t understand ‘I don’t think it’s a good match’ the first three times you told her, you can now block them and tell them piss off. Or if one matchmaker some how attract only the ugly girls and guys, you can now prevent this. Lets not work on client/matchmaker relationship, lets take the frummie way; take the easy way out. Ignore the problem and take the lazy way. Brilliant!

For those not on their list, I have copied the email below.

Dear ****

We're excited to introduce two new features to you: "Blocked Member" and "Blocked Matchmaker". These features will now give you the option to prevent certain matches that you do not wish to receive, from being sent to you. This way they will not take up any of your match spaces, and enable you to receive better quality matches.

What are these new features? Where can I find them? How do they work?

On the left hand side of your member home page you will see the options of 'Blocked Members' and 'Blocked Matchmakers'

Blocked Members: Here you can insert the information of the specific people you do not wish to be sent as a potential match (e.g. an ex wife/husband, friend, relative, or someone you previously dated). This will help prevent awkward potential suggestions that you know that you would not want to have. You enter the names of the people and the system will automatically block the matches from being suggested.

Blocked Matchmakers: By viewing a specific matchmaker's profile information (This can be found by choosing 'matchmaker' on the top tool bar, and searching by matchmaker name) you can select the option to block this matchmaker from viewing your profile and sending you matches. This function can be used if you do not want particular matchmakers seeing your information (e.g. You are not comfortable with a particular matchmaker, who is on the site, seeing your private data or you are not happy with the matches that a certain matchmaker is sending you and do not want more matches from that matchmaker.)

These features have been created not to limit the number of matches that you receive, but to improve the suitability of your matches.

As usual, the improvements to the site come from the members so thank you once again for your valuable feedback and contributions to improving the service.

We hope you enjoy using these new features.

Warm Regards,

The SYAS Team

My thoughts of Yom Kippur

2007-09-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

Maybe its wrong of me not to look forward to this dreadful holiday, as I am sure many of you out there as well. But now I feel super relieved. Relieved that is over and do not have to look forward to fasting 25 hours and sitting in shul all day. On the positive side, hoping my sins got atoned, I can now start sinning again. And hope if im still around next yom kippur, I can atone for them again. During yom kippur when I was younger I used to rationalize of how after its over, three days later would be succos and ill be off and its going to legendary. Now that im working everyday its not succos, its not as legendary. Its not like I hate it, I just don’t look forward to it like I used to when I was in Yeshiva. Its just something I havta do.

Another thought that came up, why some shuls don’t have any breaks and sometimes go a complete hour after the fast is over to blow shofar. Are they trying to prove other shuls they are frummer them because they can say the words slower that slow. Or because they can fast an extra hour for absultety no reason. Luckily I was in a normal shul that blew shofar on schedule and had a decent break. Despite the genious black mantenence guy who didn’t know, put the cake and juice out an hour early, so I had to stare at the cake for most of neila and drool. You know I wasn’t that hungry until that happened. Plus I sat right next to the table so made it even more difficult on concetrating on the neila. But like I said earlier, I don’t have to worry about this again till next year. Yee haaw.

What are the responsibilities for a Rabbi of a shul?

2007-09-20T13:38:00.000-05:00

I recently had a debate with a friend of mine, Lance, regarding the Rabbi of his shul, who was hired last year. The problem now is some board members want to fire him. Over the past few months they have complained of his lateness to shacharis in the morning, which as a Rabbi of a shul this is unacceptable. On top of that, they are having a hard time getting a minyan and he often constitutes the final 10.

Lance insists he is a great Rabbi to seek guidance from and very knowledgeable. He also lauds his weekly shiur, and therefore Lance is against his possible firing.

The debate we are having is what exactly a Rabbi's responsibilities are. My argument is a if a Rabbi of a shul should lead by example and maintain order, while offering guidance in other issues is an added bonus.

When I say leading by example, I mean coming on time and not talking. If there is too much talking in the shul, it is the rabbi’s job to try and keep it a minimum. I know the Rav of my modern shul stops laining if it gets too loud. A shul needs some kind of leadership. Despite us being adults, there still needs someone in charge. Imagine if an entire shul came a half an hour late. Imagine an entire shul talking so loud you can hear it from a block away. It's the Rabbi’s job to make sure those things don't happen be managing and leading the way. That can only work if he comes in on time every time (even early) and not talk ever during davening (while making sure others don’t talk as well).

Sorry Lance, this rabbi has got to go. Despite his very or even too ‘approachable’ attitude and his knowledge, a shul can not have a slacker for a Rabbi. Why should I come on time, why should I stop talking if the leader of my shul is doing the same thing as me?

Muslims are better prayers?

2007-09-17T11:09:00.000-05:00

Not that I’m converting to Islam anytime soon, although quite the contrary, but its interesting to note. I was talking earlier to my Muslim coworker regarding his Ramadan this month; what it actually entails and how hard it is for him. It’s always interesting listening to their side and sort of comparing it to my own religion. We never really discuss Israel, just Jews and Muslims as a religion.

As every one knows, they fast for 30 days during the day then eat at night. That itself sounds really hard. I can just imagine yesterday 30 days straight. Although yesterday’s fast wasn’t super hard (also it can be because we ate for 3 days straight which helped a bit), but I can’t imagine doing that everyday for 30 days. That’s a lot of days. He wakes up at 4 am to eat as if it’s the most normal of habits. Whenever we have these fast days, I personally eat a big meal before I go to bed at midnight so not to wake up extra early in the morning.

Besides the fast, they have a 2 hour prayer every night starting at 9 PM. The time I am usually implanted on my bed watching the tube, they are at mosque. I complain about selichos with the extra 30 min for a week, they are praying 2 hours a night (in addition to their other prayers) for 30 days straight. But he says every person comes on time, turns off their cell phone, and not a sound is heard for 2 hours. I can’t remember the last shul I have been to where that happened. Maybe I am just used to my Flatbush shul, roll in 5 or 10 min late, schmooze with some people then get down to business for a few minutes then schmooze a little more, (watch the important people check their blackberries every 10 minutes when its not shabbos), maybe I am just antzy to sit still for that long.

After talking to him, I couldnt help but think about this. For some reason I believe him that this actually goes on at the mosque. I think it’s kind of odd that there is more respect and devoted people at the mosques than we have at our frum shuls.

Disrespectful 9/11 protestors

2007-09-11T14:56:00.000-05:00

I walked over to ground zero earlier on my lunch break to pay my respects to those that were lost six years ago. Although I’ve been there many times before as I work only a few blocks away, but I thought ill make sure to make it my business to go on the actual anniversary. But for some reason, I am always more disappointed on the actual anniversary (as I was equally disappointed last year when I stopped by for the 5th anniversary), than during any other day of the year. This day seems to bring almost as many protestors as there were mourners and visitors combined. These people claiming that it was an inside job. That evil bush and the evil government planned the attack. It’s amazing how many naïve media whores there are out there to actually think that actually happened. Never mind my personal opinion on that matter, but to have hundreds of them wearing their ‘9/11 investigates’ t-shirts screaming all around is really disrespectful and uncalled on the day when almost 2800 people died.

I usually try not to make this blog political, as it is not a political one, but certain situations like these get under my skin. This has nothing to do with frum people or Jewish people, as I am sure there were some of them as well in this group, but more of an American and New Yorker. I hope these protestors can take their idiotic beliefs elsewhere or yell on a different day and have more respect next year.

Frummie car salesmen

2007-09-10T11:28:00.000-05:00

This weekend I decided to start looking for new wheels. Relying on other peoples car’s can only work for some time after wrecking my own, but now its time to get a new car. But as I look around Brooklyn, each guy seems more dishonest than the next. I went to this one frum place, thinking he’ll be a nice and honest salesman, I have been mistaken. After telling him the amount I want to spend, he starts convincing me to spend an extra 5,000 dollars and finance a newer and better car. He made valid points stating it will last longer and they are just a nicer and better cars. Well, bearded yeshivisha car salesman smoking and blowing it into my face as I was talking to him, if I was interested in doing that I would’ve asked you for a more expensive car. It doesn’t matter if I finance it or not. But the car he wanted to sell me for that price, I know I can get 5,000 dollars less.

Now, I wonder now if there are any trusts worthy car salesman. This is one fear of mine when buying a new car, is being ripped off. I guess I have to look for the one who will me rip me off the least. My last car was bought by an Israeli person, who I sorta trusted. So now, it’s a question who do I trust more of the 2 most dishonest groups of people, the Israeli’s or the yeshivish hocker man. Thinking about it now, those Indians or Italian salesmen don’t look all that trust worthy either.

Also yesterday, I was able to check out the under hyped, under crowded, and under marketed Jewish concert festival. I think this event is a much better version of the Israeli day concert/parade that took place back in May. Ill take the speechless, hippie Jewish crowd with Hebrew beer vendors over the political agenda, over crowded teenie bopper Israeli concert any day.

Frummies cry ant-semitism

2007-09-05T09:26:00.000-05:00

I was reading this article like two weeks ago on some yeshivish website regarding PETA cracking down on kapores in Brooklyn. They showed a letter from PETA stating how these Kapores places are mistreating the chickens and need better care. Now, after reading the comments on that, I wasn’t sure if I should be angrier at the kapores centers or the frum people angry at PETA. I have been to these places and I can see how these chickens are being mistreated while being cooped up all day with a million other chickens in their bins then thrown around by these bearded men like it is a stuffed animal. So, I can easily see where this agency is coming from and why they want to crack down on this.

But many of the comments were putting down PETA and claiming that they are ‘just out to get the Jews’. Every time I hear that excuse when something doesn’t go there way, I grow another white hair. Once again do these so called ‘frum jews’ think they are above the law, similar to the riot in Boro Park when someone was illegally speaking on his cell phone while driving. If the law states it is illegal, it applies to everyone, even Jews. Not every single time the government cracks down on something you don’t like, can you cry Anti-Semitism? I remember reading one really ignorant comment saying that it is a ‘freedom of religion’ and how can they the government do this. Cuz it’s the damn law – that’s why.

And these people are so quick to use that rational when it’s gearing towards them. I bet these people aren’t so fast to use that defense when other religions are doing such practices. Imagine the Koran said to kill all the Jews because its freedom of religion. Ok, maybe that’s far fetched, but even a similar practice to kapores where an animal can be harmed in the process, lets see how many Jews say its ok to such practice because of their religion. My guess is none. Jews, Muslims, and Christians all have to obey the same laws and all have the same treatment in this great country of ours.

NY snobs in Europe

2007-08-31T11:24:00.000-05:00

Note: Below is guest post from my friend and occasional editor, known here as Lance.

During my recent trip to Europe, after much angst I decided to take a minimalist approach and pack as little as possible. But I included a nice pair of slacks for my shabbos visit to the shul nearby the center of town.

I was surprised when I discovered a group of young guys from Queens. One of the guys actually brought his suit, but it was totally wrinkled because it had obviously been squished into his suitcase for several days.

I'm all for dressing up for shabbos and holidays, yet there has to be some point of practicality to the whole deal. I mean was this guy so obsessed with maintaining the Queens kewl guy look that he absolutely had to bring his snooty dark suit?

I understand that there's a thin line between classy and casual, but when on vacation I think most sane people understand that it's ok to take a minimalist approach.

Plus, what about when in Rome do as the Romans do? Almost everyone there had a nice button down shirt and slacks.

But what irked me more was that there was also a group a girls roughly the same age from Queens there as well. For some reason or other, we all failed to connect on Saturday night together, despite the fact that everyone was headed to the same direction and that they all casually knew each other.

Why is it that even hundreds of miles away from home we still can't all get along? Am I being to impractical? Why can't the commonality of being young, Jewish, around the same age be enough of a reason to want to join up together? Isn't it more fun that way?

Do guys have to pay for a girl on a faux date?

2007-08-28T19:27:00.000-05:00

Does the guy pay for a girl even if their not dating? Every so often I hang out with this girl, despite us trying the dating route which didn’t work out, we continue to go places once in a while as we share similar interests. I don’t want to discuss whether platonic relationships can work out and whether this is one. That’s been covered already enough in the blogosphere, so there really isn’t a need for people to hear me speak about it. This is about whether a guy should pay for the girl when they do hang out as friends.

Recently I took a full day trip out of state with this lady friend (it was just us), and after I offered to pay for the gas, I would’ve assumed she would cover the tolls and her own admission fee. She did tell me a few times that she is going to pay me back for the expenses I laid out for her (even a souvenir), but the end result was, she didn’t give me any of the money. If this isn’t a date and we are not in a relationship and we are going strictly as friends, I should treat her like other guys I hang out when I drive with them, although most people give me the money without me asking for it. I am not the kind of guy to ask for the money at the end of the trip, I hope they are nice and honest enough to cough up with cash voluntarily. Am I being ungentlemanly about this?

Mornings and Marriage

2007-08-21T22:40:00.000-05:00

Maybe it’s because I’m just not a morning person, but certain things scare me about the morning. For instance waking up in the mornings and being married. I don’t know enough about this and nor do I voyeur on couples morning habits, I guess the only evidence I have is from TV and movies.But the point I’m trying to make here I guess is that I really hate mornings and when I wake up because I hate being bothered and spoken to. I like my privacy. I like waking up and not having a million questions asked.

I’m a type of guy that won’t talk to anyone regarding anything for at least an hour after waking. This never really came up on dates, though. I guess its something not to brag about to a girl, such as telling someone, "Oh by the way I’m a cranky bitch in the morning, so if you’re not interested in another date I’ll understand."

I know I’m far from the only one who’s like this, but from TV, these couples wake up at the same time and start yapping the moment their eyes open. What amazes me is that these people hop out of bed in an instant.

Maybe this is just me, but I feel going to sleep alone is tons sadder than waking up alone. I love waking up alone with the quietness. If I’m off and my alarm clock isn’t waking me up, I'll probably rise at noon thinking it was 7 am. I guess in married life, if your spouse is an early waker upper, you’re pretty much screwed for life.

I remember speaking to some older married guy about this on a ski lift (great place to start schmoozing with random strangers you’ll never see again in your life) about this issue. He told me he and his wife have an understanding that he hates mornings as well and they don’t speak to each other until 10 a.m. or so. I think that’s brilliant. Although it may take time for it to work because they each wake up in the same room and use the same facilities and eat kind of near each other. But they can do it 5 or 10 min shifts.

It still gets me thinking every time I wake up and people start talking to me and asking me questions. One may wonder how this has anything to do with frumness, well it doesn’t, but NSF is without internet and is over thinking about life complications.

Editors note: Despite this post being posted at night, it was thought out and written in the morning.

Jews and arabs can get along

2007-08-16T22:45:00.000-05:00

There was an interesting article in the USA Today like 2 days ago regarding good old flatbush . Nothing like some good free PR for our lovely community. Basically, they were saying how the orthodox Jews, the Muslims, and the Russians can all live side by side in peach and harmony, sans the dunkin donut incident. I was always waiting for an article about this to be written about the peace we have with our neighbors, and now finally the rest of this country can see how peaceful and civilized we can really be. The article also pointed out that the main reason is because what it comes down to, its all about business and not about one's beliefs. I'm OK with that. Which reminds me of reading about an article on Dubai a while ago, of how it is a welcoming city to the Jewish people as well, despite being in a pure Arabic country, because again, all it comes down to - they care more about making money than fighting. And what better religion to welcome into their desert than the wealthy Jewish business man. I was also pleased to see that many of the comments were positive towards Jews.

Also, I probably wont be able to blog much in the near future because my current job decided the block the internet, which occupied much of my dar. Now, i can have all day thinking on what to write about.

I wish I knew more non frummies

2007-08-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

I was thinking recently, rather I’ve been thinking this way before, but was thinking about this again more recently; I regret I didn’t know more non-frum and non-jews when I was growing up. I’m sure I’m not the only one, as most frum people from Flatbush never really had the opportunity to associate themselves with people other then their type either. I regret this however. When I grew up, my block was always 90 percent Jewish, so whoever I played with were frum yeshivish kids. Then came yeshiva, and again obviously, all frum Jewish guys. This was like all the way through high school and Israel beis medrash. Then came college, that was another story, you moved from hanging around and associating with frum guys, to frum guys and frum girls. But still hard to become close friends and hang out with the non-frum crowd. Yes, I spoke too many of the non-Jews and joked around a lot, but still we never actually hung out after wards like I would do with my close frum friends. Why is this?

Whenever I speak too my non frum acquaintances, their surprised that everyone of my close friends are orthodox jews. I’m surprised as well. But I never really had the opportunity and it just ‘sorta happened’ like this from my up bringing. Now, being post-college, it’s a little bit more difficult to gaining new friends that share the same interests like me, not to mention the difficulty to gaining non-jewish people that share the same interest. I understand that there can be issues, such as if they want to eat out in their restaurants or hang out on Friday nights or Saturday afternoons, it can create some problems. But these issues can be looked over and just tell them the differences, and do stuff where there is no eating involved (although this too is easy to overcome, I’m totally cool with just having a beer while they eat in a non-kosher place) or hanging out on shabbos.

I know a lot of sheltered frummies are totally against this and one may start bringing down pesukim saying how its “associating oneself with a non-jew is bad and lead to bad stuff’, but this is my view. I wish I had a more diverse group of friends, and I don’t mean by the kind of suit and whether or not they wear a black hat.

Hey Yeshivish guy on a date - drink the water!

2007-08-09T10:41:00.000-05:00

I briefly wrote about this on a comment on a post I saw on nice Jewish guy’s blog a few days ago, in which he wrote about a funny sign he saw offering separate classes for dating advice. It was funny because it reminded me what I saw on Sunday in the mountains (yes I went there after I ran the half). When I was having a family barbeque at this outdoor park near some bungalow colonies and camps, there was this really yeshivish couple on a date a table away from us in this gazebo type setting. I know I shouldn’t be staring and judging at other people’s dates, as I hope no one analyzes my dates, but it was too hard not to. First let’s mention their attire; this guy was wearing a whole suit, tie and hat while the girl was wearing this thick black dress and long sleeves during the date. I’m thinking this guy must be sweating his ass off. I was hot in just my t-shirt while he’s outside with a whole suit on. I don’t wear suits ever on any dates for a whole other issue, no matter the temperature, but there’s got to be some kind of leniency when its 90 degrees out there for those yeshivish folks, seriously. Where does it say that they have to be uncomfortable during the entire date?

Another thing I noticed while they were there, which was like an hour, none of them showed any bodily motion. No arms or head movements, nothing, I get restless 5 minutes into a date, I start changing my seating position for a more comfortable one, but this guy and girl was firm for the whole time. Also, they brought water with them to drink, right, but an hour later both waters were still sealed closed. There was this other family there having a barbeque who was also getting a kick out of this date, he began yelling “open the water”, he even offered some of their left over beer they had. They ignored their bickering. I found it funny, somewhat mean, but still entertaining. The date finally had enough of us making fun and staring, they went to another park down the road (I noticed them from the car when we left).

If it’s anyone who needs tips on dating and advice its people like these. I’m not saying I know everything about dating, hell ill be married if I did, but I definitely know how to actually enjoy and feel comfortable during my dates and actually drink the water I bring.

NSF runs the NYC half

2007-08-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

As I slowly regain feeling in both my legs from yesterday’s NYC half marathon, I wonder why people run these races, and how in the world 38,000 people run the full 26.2 mile around the 5 boroughs. The good news is I actually finished the race and I did it in about two hours eleven minutes, which is good enough for me. The max time was 3 hours or else you’re out of the race, which I was terrified of having to be picked up by bus for the people who weren’t able to finish it in the allotted time.

So I woke up at 4.40 yesterday to make to my corral at 6 am, for a race start of 7 am. Let it be told I have never waked up that early on a Sunday morning. Nsf likes his sleep. So after I stretch and wait in the enclosed area of the park for 45 min or so, I stand in my corral with thousands of other people, my position is still about 6 blocks away from the actual starting line. I fully regret this decision but it’s too late now. I can barely hear the horn go off and still not moving for at least 2 min, I see we start walking slowly, then running slowly, I was thinking I can do this, then we stopped for another min then we walk again, then we began running and I knew this was it (exactly 8 minutes after the official starting time). No stopping now. For the first few miles it was so tight, I tried not to run over people and not runners come into me. I saw 1 frum girl there walking smack in the middle of the pack of runners, I’m ok with people walking during the race, I walked for a minute or so by mile 11 or so but don’t do it in the middle of the pack especially at the beginning of the race where it’s really crowded, she caused this huge back up.

Before the race, I was talking to some people who ran these things before and they were giving me tips, I remember one was ‘pace yourself thru the park and hold yourself back when you have an urge to go faster’, which pretty much helped me out through the 7 miles through the park. I did the park in a pace a bit slower than I usually go, because the most I ran was 7 or 8 miles (not 13.1) but felt really comfortable when I actually left the park. Which was also probably the best part of my race, coming from a semi quit park to screaming cheerers and live music bands playing on 7th ave, that definitely helped me out.. I was even comfortable going to the west side highway, and then about half way down the west side, I felt my legs acting up on me. Although walking thru most of the water stops and grabbing a cup, my legs began to tire up. I walked 1 min here then ran another 10 min, it was kind of working. Then I hear people yelling ‘its almost over, right over that hill’, what a load of crap that was. I went over that hill and saw a sign another mile to go.. Ahhhh. Then every time I thought it was over – it wasn’t, it was just another damn sign saying how close you are, but no finish line.. where the hell is finish line?

It finally came at last, but then they made us slowly walk for 3 blocks full of thousands of other people as they give me a cold towel, my medal, and they take off my chip. Oh, how thankful that’s over, but still thinking, how cool will a full marathon be.

Korn vs Tu B'av party

2007-08-02T11:15:00.000-05:00

The last time I went to the Bangitout Tu B’av party was around two years ago. Since that time, I've had less interest in going to the way over hyped, full of themselves clique event of the year. This year instead I checked out a free Korn concert in lower Manhattan. That’s right--I chose a few thousand blue collared, tattooed, long haired, and smelly head bangers over a few hundred middle aged snotty foxy yids.

I was able to get a date the first time I attended the party, but was unsuccessful the year after. If you’re not aware of how it works, everyone gets a sticker with a unique number with your name on it and then you are SUPPOSED to put it on your shirt where other people (usually those of the opposite sex) can see it. Then if you like that person you write down their number, and if you both write their number down, well, you will each be contacted by the parties organizers the next day or so.

That sounds like a great idea, but many people hide their numbers or don’t wear their sticker. I remember the first time I was there I somehow ended up being with someone who knew someone, with this totally unattractive overweight older woman. But her sticker was covered by her hair. I told her that it was blocking the number and people are not able to see it if they want to approach you.

She nonchalantly replies, “It was placed like that strategically.” Is she serious?! Did she actually think I was interested in her, or does she think that too many people are going to go after her? None of that was going to happen! If you’re going to an event like this, you should appear as if you’re out there to meet people, and not think your some obnoxious bitch. Another line I always love hearing is when a girl says: “I don’t do these things, I’m just here to help out my friend.” Was she ashamed of being single? If you’re at the party at least try to attempt to have a good time and be honest.

Somehow, I find Korn fans a lot more honest than those Bangitout people. If you were at the party this year or previous years, I would like your hear your input as well.

Where do frum singles live in NY besides the city?

2007-07-30T13:52:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about moving out of my house for some time now, rather out of Flatbush. But every time I contemplate the move, I realize my options are limited. The obvious neighborhood to move to when one is still single post college would be the Upper West Side. But I don’t think I'm going to be moving there any time soon, because I think that the people there really suck. The next place would be Washington Heights. Then again, I’m not a YU guy and probably would feel out of place there. I also heard it’s very cliquey there. Is that is all? Only two places?

The only places I would love to move to locally would be Williamsburg (not the Chasidic part) and Park Slope. There is something about those places that really lure me. Maybe it’s because the grungy look or the ‘I don’t care what I wear’ look they give off, as opposed to the West Side always dressed to impress and their snotty attitude. If only there was a small Jewish singles scene in those two Brooklyn places who have that same chilled out outlook in life. I can overlook their liberal political outlook. The rent is another issue. Every Jewish singles area is so expensive, but I think Brooklyn is a drop less expensive, but I’m sure it's still ridiculously pricey. What's a simple frum Jewish single guy to do?

Really really expensive singles weekends

2007-07-26T10:07:00.000-05:00

I’m not one to really do these singles weekends out in the country. This came to mind this week, as it being Shabbos Nachamu and I know many people go away this weekend, married and single alike. I know FrumSatire wrote about his experiences at many of these places, some good, many bad. One of the reasons I never went away of these weekend ordeals, which there more than just the finance reason but for this post I am going to stick to this reason, is that they are so frigin expensive. I heard this place advertised last week on the Jewish radio show saying they have a “cheap” package where it’s only 700 dollars a person. Are they out of the mind? Like hell I would pay out that kind of cash for 2 nights listening to speeches galore. I know there are many of them for 300 dollars during the year, but even that is a crazy amount to pay. I think the max I would pay is 100 bucks.

The people making these events are out there to make a huge profit and don’t really care about getting people married. They must have a great marketing staff to get people out there I tell you. If these organization really cared about the so called ‘single crisis’, they would get sponsors and/or charge us what it costs, and quit viewing it as a business venture. Tell these people to stop being typical jews and stop thinking with their wallet and Acuras.

Tisha baav and working

2007-07-23T13:00:00.000-05:00

I’m pretty happy the 3 weeks are almost over. Despite me not really holding back on much, due to the fact that I shaved and have listened to some music for 3 weeks (although very little during the 9 days though), but now I can go back to eating meat and listen to music guilt free. Also, now I can plan my rest of the summer activities, although there really isn’t much planned as of now.
But, what sucks when the 3 weeks end, it concludes with a major fast. I’m ok with fasting sometimes, I don’t enjoy it obviously, but it’s doable, which reminds me, some people have asked me if I am working on Tisha baav, and I keep on answering them yes. The simple reason is because I know if I don’t work, ill be sitting on my ass all day watching TV. So to me, working is more productive and more spiritual than watching oprah in the afternoon. I know many of the frummie people will tell me, go to a speech or something instead of watching TV. I know myself pretty well, that is not happening. I had my share my depressing speeches about the beis hamikdash back in the camp days. Those days are long gone. Nowadays, watching my coworkers eat their big Macs on tisha baav is enough pain and suffering for me to remind me of the destruction.

Frummies like money

2007-07-18T14:09:00.000-05:00

Once again, frum people are in the news trying to make the extra buck, although not necessarily the ethical way. Once again, I am to think these are the bad apples of our community and not the frum community as hole.

The story of the observant Jew trying to sue Jetblue airlines is really angry at them because he claims they fired him because he kept shabbos. I am too believe that, according to the article, that he spoke to the CEO of the airline. Yeh, this entry level customer service rep had a discussion with a multibillion dollar airline CEO. It is just very hard to believe. I think he just wants to make a case and make some money. I know some people who couldn’t get hired because of shabbos, but they moved on. Does he really think he’s going to get millions of dollars? Hell, how do I make one?

The other case I’m sure everyone heard already is the one at Touro College where staff member were accused of a scheme where people can buy them selves a dimploma for 3000 bucks. Damn, why wasn’t I told of this before they got busted? I could use a few MBA’s and Masters Degrees. I know this happens at non-Jewish institutions as well, but Touro? The popular place because their so ‘frum’ and because some campuses have the separate heimeshe atmosphere. I guess Frum jews are like everyone else in this world, with equal number of money hungry immoral thieves out to screw others.

NSF's car accident

2007-07-16T11:02:00.000-05:00

Not so frummie had a pretty tough weekend. On the way home from the beach yesterday, I was involved in a car accident. I guess the good thing is im ok, but my car is totally totaled. I was driving in the right lane behind this Infiniti, and then suddenly he slows down and stops, as I do the same thing. The lady driving the minivan behind me didn’t quite get the hint of my brake lights and was probably driving up my ass, slammed went right into me right after I stopped which caused me to go right into the Infiniti. Next thing I know, my seat went into the incline position, my airbags flew out (which were completely useless as they weren’t even near my face) with the smoke coming out of it, and my radio flew out of my dashboard luckily not hitting me in the face. The super big gulp I just purchased at the 7 -11, well, flew everywhere. I then see this butch looking lady run over to my car and yelling ‘are you ok, how many fingers am I holding up’. The correct answer is three. Being able to answer it correctly, I turn off my engine and got out of the smoky car to see the damage. It was bad. Front and back were completely caved in.

About 5 cop cars came, some ambulances, and a fire truck came to manage the area for about a half hours and took down all the info, cleaned the place up, then took my car to a pound. Speaking about the pound, these guys look and act like the most dishonest white trash people I have ever met. I now have to leave it there until the lady’s insurance comes and looks at my car. Let’s hope when I pick up my belongings its all there and cooperate when the donation organization comes to pick up the car.

Remembering all the dates you went on

2007-07-12T10:21:00.000-05:00

Recently, I’ve been thinking about all my dates I’ve been on since I started and how many of them I’ve been on. The problem is I am having trouble remembering. When I began dating, I thought ill be all organized so when I get married I can have proof of how many and which girls I’ve dated and show it to my future wife. Naturally, after about a year or two of dating, I began getting lazy or forgetting to upgrade my list of names, and eventually not entering any new names to the list. This list also helped me remember if I get matched up with a girl I already dated so I don’t redate them. I’m not really in the mood of doubles, if it didn’t work the first time, I doubt it will work the second time. Recently, it has been a little bit easier remembering the girls I dated because of facebook. I or her usually friend each other even if its only one date. But then again not everyone is on there.

So I began recreating a list at work of all the girls I went out with. I tried remembering them by name; but that wasn’t going too happened. I tried remembering them by the person who set me up, I was able to recall a few. I tried thinking of all the different places I’ve been too and tried to remember them by that, I was able to pick up a few more. But I know im still missing a bunch. Am I evil for not knowing the girls I went out with? Its not even like I went out with a huge number, I am sure it’s about average or below average number of girls of what someone my age have gone out with. According to my IT lady, who by accident needed my computer out of the blue and noticed my worksheet open and said “wow – impressive’. But little does she know the way frum jewish people or the way I date. Most of those were 1 or 2 dates and not even sure why I went out with them. Do most people remember all the girls (or guys if you’re a girl) they have gone out with. Oh well.

The dead Flatbush I look forward to all year.

2007-07-09T11:52:00.000-05:00

I know most people best time of year is the summer because of the wonderful weather and when most people take vacation time from their jobs, but I like it this time (I blogged little while ago that I like it because of the girls dressing down), because flatbush empties out. This is when the real authentic Flatbush reveals itself. This is when Di Fara’s pizza place has more people on line than all the kosher pizza places on J combined. This is when all the Camry’s and Accords take their pilgrimage upstate. Finally, I can walk around on shabbos and see non-frum/non-jewish and frum in equal numbers. No dealing with the snotty kids everywhere. Not to mention the parking situation. I don’t have to circle the Ave J area 3 times till I find a spot only to the loose it to a minivan. And now I don’t have to weave in out of lanes of double parked cars to get to bagel hole.

As much as I like the country life, I can’t bring myself going up to the Catskills for the weekend and deal with Flatbush in the mountains. Ill do Sunday trips somewhere in the mountains and only deal with mad rush of minivans on the palisades with out any direct eye contact unless to tell him that there’s no way he’s getting into my lane. Besides that, its back to my dead Flatbush I look forward to all year.

Do I know you?

2007-07-05T13:16:00.000-05:00

This annoyed me a little bit earlier. I was recently matched up with a girl by a close friend of mine. He clearly knows me and her very well. But then she apparently asked some girl about me, who told her that she doesn’t think it’s a good match and a date is not worthwhile.

My friend gave me the name of the other girl who claims to know me, but I have no idea who she is. Why is this person claiming to know me and then telling someone not to go out with me? I originally called it ‘bad-mouthing,’ which is nasty, but maybe she is just giving false information, as opposed to bad information. Regardless, it is still lying and I really would like to know why she's claiming to know me. I would have recognized her name if I dated her, but it doesn’t ring a bell. Do I have a right to be annoyed or just assume that she does know me and she honestly thinks this will not work out?

Boro Parkers are holier than Flatbush people

2007-07-02T13:54:00.000-05:00

I found this sort of obnoxious. While waiting in line at Bagel Hole, a Chasidic Boro Parker looking lady comes inside and begins questioning the worker of what the Kashrus is. Now, all I can think when she asked this; who the hell does she think she is asking such a reputable kosher place what their kashrush is. The entire Flatbush eats there; almost every bris I’ve been too was done by them. Does she really think it’s not kosher? This isn’t some rarely used kosher establishment which is some times questionable in some place in middle of no where. This is frigin Bagel Hole on Coney Island Ave, the best bagels in Brooklyn I may add, but extremely trust worthy. Is she holier than though? Is she better than me or anyone else who never asked bagel hole or any other popular kosher Flatbush joint whether they are kosher or not?

Maybe being from Boro Park, she was taught never to trust anyone or anyone ‘below’ her like the Flatbush people. This is almost as bad as the person who goes to Bar Mitzvahs and weddings of frum people and start questioning the People making the event what the kashrus is. I find that to be very chutzpadik, It’s like they don’t trust the people making the event. One has to trust people like themselves and not make believe your so much better and frummer than everyone else because you asked what the hashgacha is.

Frummie gals demand references

2007-06-28T09:37:00.000-05:00

Im not sure of the number of girls I have gone out, so I am not sure how many of those were too frum for me or at my level or below, but I have enough to base a statistic off of it. I am talking about when a shidduch is brought up by a friend of a family or a friend of mine and the girl (or her parents) demands references. I can maybe somewhat understand if it was an actual shadchan making the shidduch to demand reference, due to the fact that the shadchan doesn’t know either party that well so use this is an extra insurance. Although, I think that is too frummie for me too. But I am more annoyed when someone when some one I know matches it up and the girl wants references. If the family or person knows them and me (and/or my family), then it’s as if you don’t trust them.

Also, my personal stats show that when someone like this wants refs, the girl is always more religious than me. Its obviously more this is normal for the frum crowd to constantly demand 5 phone numbers of neighbors, friends, and rabbis, and the pre-1A Morah, but it is less common with the more modern girls and who I went out with that were more my ‘speed’. Not the mention the other obvious defense that is always mentioned that “its only a few hours and some drinks, what do you got to loose”.

Maybe this is just me, but I am more interested in the more laid back, modern girls who trust friends rather than those other super overly cautious frummer gals who don’t trust anyone as they are scared of wasting their precious time with some random guy for 3 hours.

No, I dont want your yeshiva's water - go away!

2007-06-25T13:41:00.000-05:00

First off, I heard this morning that Dunkin Donuts isn’t kosher anymore, but my Rabbi is looking into it. Now, im not sure if it’s only the one on J but all over Flatbush, but this is a major drawback. What is one to do with out their chocolate frosted and crappy eggs and cheese croissants? Life will go on. The second point I would like to make is which brilliant Yeshiva came up with this brilliant finance campaign. Let’s do as the homeless do and harass people at red lights on Ocean Parkway right before the Prospect Expressway and demand them to buy water from you. Oh, and if you see someone with a yarmulke on, knock on their window until they acknowledge you. Oh, and if they don’t open the window a second later, why don’t you try and attempt to open the person’s frigin car door. That should work. Not for me. Me shaking your wet and icy hands and introducing yourself and your cause isn’t going to cut it.

The Flatbush I didn't miss

2007-06-21T10:40:00.000-05:00

As I slowly get back into normal routine and everyday flatbush life, there are certain things i certainly can say did not miss while I was away. The first day back on the subway, I see an available seat in my car so i run to take it. It was next to a middle age frum jewish woman. The chuthzpa and bummy of me to sit down next to a woman. As i sat down, i watch her move her ass over like 5 inches. Listen lady with tehillem open in your hands making believe your prayin, chill the hell out when I sit down, i aint gonna bite ya. I wasnt even touchin ya, and if your scared there is a chance my pants may brush against your skirt for a split second, its not the end of the world.
I also did not miss waiting in line in a kosher take out, although the kosher take out i did miss quite a bit. Sorry big dude with fancy white shirt if im really hungry and tired after a jog that i dont want to wait behind you for 10 minutes while you give your order to the counter lady while talking on your cell phone at the same time. Hang up the phone, order, then call back your booky later. For a happy ending, the shnitzel was damn good.

Is it unfrum to backpack?

2007-06-18T13:08:00.000-05:00

After returning from a brief backpacking trip in Central America (2 weeks compared to people traveling for 6 months or more), I noticed something. I did not meet one frum person backpacking. Let alone the non religious Jews, I only met two who can bring themselves to hanging at hostels and hopping on and off the bus route. This was excluding the non religious Israelis, of whom there were many. I came across the same thing when I did some traveling in Europe a little while back. Is it not frum to backpack, especially a solo backpacker? Out there it was viewed as normal to go traveling by yourself through random countries. Over here, is it is viewed as strange. When I told a date about my trip before I left, she thought I was 'crazy' that I planned to go by myself.

Frum people need their groups of 4 of the same sex and to stay at fancy hotels in Miami. Many Jewish people also need their 5 star resort and look to be pampered as much as possible. It is below them to share a room with 7 random strangers on bunk beds without air conditioning and sometimes lacking hot water. And G-d forbid they meet new people on their trips. They must stick to themselves because the Torah says not to mingle with the goyim because we may become like them, right? Because they are all evil and the Jews are all righteous. Jews must remain sheltered. And then we wonder why there is so much anti Semitism in this world. I was proud that I represented one of the few frum solo backpackers out there.

The Jewish Flatbush accent.

2007-06-01T10:25:00.000-05:00

To me, there is nothing more annoying than having to listen to a person with that strong Jewish nasal voice for three hours. This rule not only applies to old European people who it be more expected of them to speak this way, but even the young girls who are living in Flatbush. Maybe people find this accent sexy, I certainly don’t. I was on a date this week with a girl who sounds like a cross between Fran Dresser and the woman from the TV show 'King of Queens'. Although I myself am a native brooklyner, I try my hardest as not to talk like one. I personally don’t think I talk like one, and ive been told I have a very light Brooklyn accent if any at all not awwwwll). But I think it’s a bit more than just a Brooklyn accent, it’s the whining and talking thru the nose aspect of it. I a now scared of going of having nightmares of someone whining for 20 min straight saying ‘oohh my gaawwwwwd’.

I n other news, for all those who are bored enough to read this blog or some how came upon this blog by accident. I will be out for 2 weeks while I do some traveling. I hope you all can try and stick it out, although im sure it will be tough. happy travels.

Learning demands time off!

2007-05-29T14:21:00.000-05:00

As i was driving around Flatbush yesterday on my day off, I happened to pass by some Yeshivas. I was remembering what it was like not to be off for a legal holiday or even Sundays. Now, I dont know what i would do if I didnt have that day once a week to wake up late and relax. I remember by sundays begining at 7.30 and ending at 3.00. That is almost a full day of work. Strict yeshivish yeshivas are so against their boys ever having time off. I remember dreading it everyday of the week of every month. Which, of course, caused me to come late on shabbos morning davening so I can have that once a week feeling of waking up a little late.

The Rabbis used to always tell us 'there is no time off from learning'. I hate the say this, sometimes one needs a day or two to to recuperate after putting 40 hours of learning in a week. I used to look forward to the few times a year, we were completely off. They think they are being nice by letting us out at 3.00 on Memorial day. What the hell can i do that late. Let alone, my HS was about 45 minutes away from my house. I'm glad those years are over. I have no idea how I would be able to handle that these days.

Shavuos is for sleeping.

2007-05-22T10:39:00.000-05:00

Is it wrong of me to look forward to this holiday so I can catch up on my sleep? In fact, I remember last year being the first year in a really long time that I didn’t stay up on Shavuos night and I remember having one the best nights sleep. I have no idea why. I remember the years I actually did stay up all night, I barely learnt 30 minutes through out the night. I enjoyed it because it was a great social gathering and get to meet up with my buddies and catch up on good old times, but then, by the end of the night, I always felt very unproductive as if I wasted my night away doing nothing and of course really tired. The best part of my night was when i came home and layed down and was out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I notice that’s what most young people in Flatbush do that anyways, stay up all night for the sake of it. They barely learn an hour then hang around the coffee and donut stations gossiping about life for the rest of the night. I love the people that stay out all night to hang around outside smoking and make their shabuos night crawl from shul to shul and see what kind of goodies their offering.

At least last year I attempted to learn for an hour so i can be aware of what’s going on, despite being overly tired from putting in a full day of work,. So, I went to my shul, got some goodies, then sat down and tried to listen to a shiur. Ten minutes in, having not really listened all that much and I all was thinking about was my bed. So it got me thinking, I could be home sleeping. I book out and was back home in my bed with in 15 minutes – best shavous ever. Maybe that’s what I need, a really boring shiur at 12 a clock to really get me tired and all set for sleep at 12.30. Bring it on..

Roommate approval after only two dates?

2007-05-17T08:22:00.000-05:00

I recently went out with a girl for a third date. The first 2 dates went sort of well, but fun nevertheless enough for a 3rd I think. Then came the 3rd and for some reason the plan was changed to meet by her apartment with her roommate still being there. She would be there of the remainder of the time and was with us when we went a local concert (which was not planned). The plan was to hang out at the apt with both girls. Now, am I crazy for thinking that was strange? Is she trying to get roommate approval after only 2 dates? I hardly know the girl im going out with and here I am talking it up with the roommate, who I must say was also pretty attractive. Naturally things didn’t work out after, as I felt really uncomfortable being put into this kind of situation.

How was I suppose to be all close and huddly cuddly with the girl I was currently going out with only meeting her twice before. Rather, I ended up having casual small talk with both the roomie and her. It also felt like a date with both of them that went horribly wrong. Is this normal procedure, have I missed something. I can see maybe after 10 dates when we are both comfortable with each other that she wants her dating partner to meet her friends and vice versa, not two. How would she like it if I took my friend along and went all went out together?

Maybe, other people can feel comfortable after 2 dates, but I need a lot longer to really feel cool with meeting her hot roommate. If she wasn’t up for another date, she shouldn’t have gone out again. I guess it was poor judgment on her part.

Extravagant friday night Bar Mitzvah

2007-05-14T13:13:00.000-05:00

I guess bar mitzvahs have changed since my days of actively attending them back when I was 13. I was at a relative’s bar mitzvah this past shabbos, and all I can say is that are many other ways to spend excess money. First I thought when some one makes the main event on a Friday night; the family was trying to save money by not having it on a weeknight. They get to save on expenses like photography and musicians. Oh, was I so wrong. Indeed, they did hire a photographer before shabbos as well as hiring 3 chasideshe guys to sing acapella during the meal. That Williger guy was there singing, but ive been told he was there as friend and wasn’t getting paid.

As I walked into the main hall which looked liked more like an ice bar with blue glowing stands, than a bar mitzvah reception, along with the 250 other guests, we were greeted by 42 waiters in crisp dry cleaned jackets all standing in synch, with the fancy dishes and way to many silverware to count. All I can think is, damn, there are a lot of waiters here. Eventually I got accustomed to the abundance of waiters; I was all set for the food. We started off with this huge square piece of gefilte fish wrapped up like a gift box with a bow (made out of celery) and flower on top. I must say, the fish was pretty good and that was just the beginning. Oh, let talk about the drinks for a bit. So, everyone got those vintage 8 ounce glass bottles of coke instead of the normal 2 litter bottle for the table. That’s not all; I was worried once I had one, that was it. Each time I polished one down, within 2 minutes the waiter swapped it with a new bottle. So the soup and main course was the regular food you have in most places, but then they came around with spare ribs. Now that’s what im talking about. Oh, and then of course the 3 options of desert, which was awesome.
The next morning, I along, with some other people I had spoken with had some stomach issues. That didn’t stop me from eating at the Kiddush, which was way out of control. Im talking about the 20 minute wait for the cholent, kugal, corn beef, and pieces of tongue, six flavors of herring with the coolest guys of flatbush And may I add they catered a fine selection of liquor for these hockers (although I downed a shot or 2 myself). I stuck around for lunch, was pretty nice, but nothing that wasn’t mentioned already (8 ounce soda bottles and 3 different types of schnitzel). All I can say, that was one of those extravagant bar mitzvahs I have ever attended, maybe im just not as classy as some people, especially for a bar mitzvah that took place Friday night.

Frum girls - Dress like its almost summer!

2007-05-10T15:29:00.000-05:00

Ok, beautiful frum girls. The weather is spectacular outside and spring shopping is full swing. You see all the non jews and non religious women? They dress appropriate for this time of year. Their sleeves on their shirts get shorter (if any at all), skirts go higher, and they wear brighter colors with cooler and thinner material. You know why? Because it gets nasty hot outside. Frum people have to be different. They have to be uncomfortable and lack any sense of style. They have to wear long sleeves and extra long skirts with really thick material, while sweating their ass’s off. I don’t want to hear that as jew we cant act like the goyim. G-d forbid girls have a sense of fashion. Learn from the non-frummies, there’s a reason that they change their dress code this time of year.

I really admire their uniqueness, creativity, and common sense. Don’t you girls want to look prettier? You don’t want to scare away people. It can even boost your self confidence. Now, how about showing some skin!

My Israel day parade/ concert recap

2007-05-07T13:28:00.000-05:00

I stand by my previous post: the parade is so much more worthwhile than the concert. Maybe I just enjoy walking block to block watching different floats and disorganized marchers. Or maybe it’s those talented black kids with their marching bands. I guess Jewish kids can’t drum like black folks, let alone march in synch. Regardless, the parade was much more fun than the concert. Like 3.30 or so, I began making my way into the park. Snaking around this path, with absolutely zero security, we entered the closed off concert area. The music was half mediocre, I guess, the best jewish music is ever going to get along with the wonderful Zionist and ‘lets get Olmert the hell out of office’ speeches.

As I made my rounds through the crowds of fellow jews, I met some friends, and people I haven’t seen in a while. That was all fun, but all I can say, thank g-d I didn’t burst out a craving to have some Dougies. Have you seen that line? That was longer than a ladies bathroom line at Yankees stadium. Half the damn concert was on queue, and probably spent the entire time waiting. I have a question: why can’t they get more vendors? Is it because Dougies can buy out the rights to be the only kosher stand there therefore causing hundreds (maybe thousands) have to suffer? They should have had more vendors. I guess this is where Dougies gets most of their income from, due to all their stores are closing down and losing tons of business. How about this Dougies--make better food, lower your damn prices, and clean the place up a bit, then maybe ill come back to you guys...Maybe next year, the concert organizers can figure out a way to make it less lame and bring in more kosher stands.

Cool jews at the israel day parade

2007-05-04T08:24:00.000-05:00

Im excited about the Israeli day parade and concert this weekend. Probably not for the same reason as most people. You know the love of Israel and the love of Jews. Well actually I do love Jews. I love seeing all different kinds of us folks. All year round, all I see are the regular Flatbush and boro parker roaming the streets. But they all look exactly the same; they all dress the same, act the same, work in the same profession. Once a year, I can see the rest of us. And we are such a diverse bunch, makes me wonder again, why I am still in living Brooklyn. It can also make me wonder why the girls are so much hotter outside of Brooklyn. It is also the time to wonder and ramble to oneself while the groups are marching, “who the hell knew there were that many jew folks out from long island or new jersey”. What always amazes me, of how Brooklyn in the minority on this day. For some reason the Jews from the suburbs look less jewish, more assimilated, than those within city limits. One of my favorite parts of last year was the jewish bikers group. A huge group of these mean, yet cool looking motor cycle enthusiastics. I feel more of an American than a Jewish minority that day. We are just like them. Down with the people who say we shouldn’t be like the goyim by not acting and dressing like them.

The concert however, is fun and relaxing. Meet some old friends, old dates, but for some reason I enjoy the parade better. Maybe the speeches bore me and are long enough and opinionated enough to annoy the hell out of me. But sometimes the music is not half bad. Also, the concert seems like 1 big pick up joint. Every one is hitting on everyone. The parade, I enjoy walking block to block, seeing Jews of all ages from all over the tri state area while viewing the marching.

Frat boys in flatbush??

2007-04-30T09:56:00.000-05:00

Funny thing happened on the way to shul Friday night. As I was leaving my house to go to mincha on Friday afternoon, I see this car pull up like half way down the block and about 5 really white college looking guys jump out of the car. It’s like these jocks missed the exit in Ohio and ended up in middle of Flatbush. I hear one drunken frat boy car slam a beer on roof of the car and screams “Where the F*& are we?”.. I decided to go over to them and ask them what their looking for to see if i can help. Its obvious they were kinda lost. They ask me if there was some one by the name of Bawlinger or if i knew of someone having a party. I responded, I have no idea who that is and where that is, but im pretty damn sure its not on this block, this neighborhood, im pretty sure its not even in this city. After offering me to come to the party with them, even offering me a smoke, I told my new friends if there’s a party on Saturday night, maybe I would be able to come but for right now i got to go pray. Then one of neighbors comes out with his hat and one of the guys makes a comment that he likes his top hat.

Wondering if they ever made it to the party, I finally make my way to shul thinking that doesn’t happen on my block everyday.

Dating older chics?

2007-04-27T10:06:00.000-05:00

I recently agreed to go out with a girl about 3 years older than i am. Although there was convincing and guilt giving while asking me, i finally agreed to give it a shot. I have never dated an older girl before. Well maybe i have, but usually it was no more than a few months older. I mean that's kind of a big number when I'm in my mid 20's. Maybe if i was 50 and she was 53, it wouldn't sound so bad. Perhaps people are going to think we doing the Ashton kutcher / Demi Doore kinda thing. Although, the gap isn't that big and it probably wont end up in the tabloids.

I don't think its going to go anywhere, but my thinking is 'what the worst that can happen', all it is a a cup of coffee, right? In fact im hoping she can match me up with a younger friend of hers. I hope its not wrong of me to go into a date in hopes of having her match me up. For this too work, either shes gonna have to look and act younger to soop to my level because i sure as hell cant soop to being a mature 25 year old. And to tell you the truth I think i look and act younger than 25. I guess we'll find out.

Is suburban Flatbush life over?

2007-04-20T13:36:00.000-05:00

My block used to be a nice dead-end residential area in the middle of Flatbush. Neighbors had kids of all ages, pretty just the right amount of people living on the block. Parking was easy--easier at least--to find with nice lawns outside of many houses. Now, I would say in the past 10 years, there have been some major changes. There has been an influx of children running around and overall a much more crowded block from what it was back in the 90's. Parking has been increasingly more difficult to find, with neighbors knocking down their lawns to supply them with a driveway. A few months ago, my old non-Jewish neighbor died, who had a very old small house and a ton of land smack in the middle of the block. Everyone knew that when she died there would be hundreds of people looking to buy that property. Eventually, for the right amount someone actually did.

A developer ended up purchasing this house as a business proposition. He plans to build two three family houses on the lot. That is six new families. If our lack of parking was already pushing its limits, this will definitely take it over the edge. Also, another slew of possibly 30 more kids screaming and running around. Say goodbye to all their bushes and beautiful greenery that is surrounding that house. They want to make my block like 16th Ave., where they pile as many yashivash families as they can into condominiums. This frum businessman comes to my block to profit off of our expense. What does he care, he's not going to live there. I am trying to prevent this from happening, although I'm not having much luck. It looks like suburban Flatbush living is pretty much over.

Engaged girls with out rings?

2007-04-15T16:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I hate to admit I don’t approach girls as often as I should. I guess that can be a combination of my shyness and fear of rejection. But yesterday, I tried to overcome my fear and defeat my shyness. As I was davending or at least being in shul where I was suppose to be davending, I couldn’t help but notice a nice young girl on the other side of the mechitza. After davending ended, I still couldn’t help but notice, she appeared to be alone. As I watch her make her way downstairs and into the Kiddush, she was still alone and kept and looking back at me. So, I’m like, that’s it. I approached her and started chatting her up. Like 10 minutes into our conversation, she breaks the news to me that shes engaged to a chasidshe guy and her fiancé has an aufruf somewhere. I’m thinking, she’s here alone in shul and enjoying our conversation, either shes lying or something is up with her and her fiancé. I then said, sorry I didn’t see a ring on your finger, and she said she left it home because she wanted people to come over to her because she was scared of being at a kiddish alone.

Her telling me this news didn’t stop us from talking, we continued on for another 20 minutes or so till I walked her back home. I asked if its ok to walk her, people may think something is weird, she responded something to the effect that I can be her cousin. Also to confirm that she wasn’t making stuff up, I asked my brother if he knows this guy she is suppose to be marrying in June. He does. Until the next girl I approach, hopefully that one won’t be engaged.

Who knew police officers are that interesting

2007-04-06T11:18:00.000-05:00

It always amazes me how the police who watch the frum communities over the major yom tovim, always do it with a smile. Although its their job and their supervisor gave the order to stand on corners and watch the shuls; but they always appear happy to do it. Last night, I saw this guy, so as a kind gesture i greeted him with a 'how you doing', his response was 'good but cold'. He also seemed totally interested in busting out a conversation with me. I guess boredom comes with the territory. after all he has been on that corner for nearly 6 hours and nothing all that interesting ever happened on this corner.
For some reason, i also enjoy watching on yom tov when 20 little frum kids start asking them a million questions, and the officers are always eager to listen and answer their questions. I'm not sure what i would do if i had a bunch of frum kids asking me how many times i shot my gun and if ever killed anyone. But they seemed interested. I guess i have that child within me that finds the police so fascinating and always interesting to schmooze with when their standing around my corner (not so much when they are giving me a ticket).

Happy pesach, Jews!

2007-04-04T23:22:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of the corporate-casual blog , I thought i just had to put it on here.

How will I make it for 8 days without beer

2007-03-28T14:29:00.000-05:00

I think Jewish holidays are pretty cool. A day or two of just chillin at home, whether im laying down taking a nap or reading a magazine leisurely, with out a worry of work or responsibilities which I may have. Its very relaxing. But there is something always some thing I have to give up. Succos requires you to freeze your tush off when you eat or snack outside, or having the bees buzzing around my head looking for a nibble.
As we approach Pesach, it gives me even more anxiety before and during the holiday. Im not talking about cleaning or any preparations for the big holiday, im talking about the mind set that I cant enjoy a good beer or down a slice of pizza at will. How will I make it through a day of work with out going to a bodega to pick me up a coffee. Some how I always make it through the rigorous 8 days just fine, but I start to think about for a week or 2 prior. Maybe by swallowing enough pizza and starbucks a day before, will make me not wanna have any of that for 8 days after. We shall see.

Hatzala guy demands his slushie!

2007-03-26T10:52:00.000-05:00

I have the utmost respect for Hatzalah guys. They do a fantastic job and save many lives. But when i'm waiting in line patiently in line for pizza on a Saturday night, they should wait like everyone else. This guy in a yellow hatzalala walks in and comes up next to me this past Saturday night and starts asking the worker for a slushie. So, i ask him who he is asking, he goes to me 'do you mind if i cut you for a slushie', im like 'yeh, i mind'. Wait in line like everyone else. All i wanted was a slice of pizza, wheres my special privileges? Well, if he had some one waiting in the back of the ambulance who needed a slushie and his/her life depended on this slushie, then i would've gladly had let him cut me. I doubt that was the case and therefor he must wait the 5 minutes like everyone else.
I never had a police officer cut me at a dunkin donuts, maybe they are more respectful. That yellow jacket doesnt give them extra privileges every where. And dont get me started when they abuse theur sirens to go thru traffic and red lights so they can rush back to their garage or to mincha, or when their wives are behind the wheel and taking advantage of the sirens. Again, I am grateful for them and they do an awesome job.

Where are the middle of da road gals?

2007-03-20T14:02:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting date this weekend. Interesting, as in, we equally bored the hell out of each other. She thought nothing I was talking about was intriguing, and nothing she had to speak about was of any interest to me. Although I do have to say, she was one of the better looking girls I have gone out with in some time. But it seems to me, the better looking a person is, they less interesting they are. I have gone out with some super ugly girls that were really interesting.
Where is the middle ground? Why cant there be some one with semi decent looks and can hold an interesting conversation with me. It was hard to hold a conversation, when every answer was the same “that’s so nice” or “that’s so sweet”. Not to mention, she was a lot more ‘white collar’ than I am, with her carrying a black berry and flies business class for business every other week. Where is that middle of the road girl, with the semi-decent job, the semi-decent looks, and semi-decent personality?

frum yogis just have no shame.

2007-03-14T08:40:00.000-05:00

As odd as this may sound, I’ve been going to yoga now for a little under a year; no one knew if I was Jewish and I didn’t know or care if any one in the class was a frum Jew. But that all stopped about two weeks when some one comes in with a yalmuka. Let him be Jew proud, im ok with that but here are my issues now that he found out I was also frum. Firstly, when we are doing partner exercises – I would rather partner up with a 22 year old girl to do it with. But now he’s asking me if I want to be his partner. How can I refuse? I would rather not hold on to nasty sweaty leg or back as he performs his yoga acts. I would so much rather hold on to a smooth not as sweaty yoga hottie. If that wasn’t bad enough, wait till I tell you what happened after class.

We go back to the dressing room while I get changed to go back home, he goes and takes a shower. So he hops into the shower naked for 10 seconds, I can ignore that. Then he comes out of the shower, with his unit still dangling starts reading some bulletin signs, and then he begins talking to me. He starts asking question for it seems like 5 min straight with out a thought in the world he still has nothing blocking his wanker. I am trying to answer his questions as briefly as possible and get my self ready as quickly as possible, while trying to avoid any eye contact down there.
I aint a homophobe, I just don’t feel comfortable talking about my life and what shul I davend in front of a naked a guy, while 5 other random guys are looking on. I may have to find a new place now for my yoga.

Why does Agudah consider good jews Koferim?

2007-03-12T14:03:00.000-05:00

While volunteering for some old age home yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet up with all different types of jews. Some of whom, I don’t meet normally meet on a daily basis in Flatbush; those who are often looked down upon in the frum community, namely Agudah. I met people (girls) from the JTS studying gemarah, as well as some guys studying smicha in this Columbia affiliated yeshiva, located on campus. When I asked this jeans, hoodie, different style yalmuka wearing individual what he did, his response was that he learns. I was shocked because usually when I meet someone in their 20’s and they say that, I would expect a white shirt black pants kind of guy. He surprised with his clothing style, his open conversations, and easy to talk to personality; contrary to the normal yeshiva form Brooklyn or Lakewood. He tells me the Agudah and more religious people consider their yeshiva “koferim”.
Can some one explain this one to me? Those that actually study torah all day and keep the torah are considered Koferim, while those from the frum world who don’t learn at all, or learn an hr or 2 hrs a day , those who know alot less than these fine jews, are considered great frum Jews. I am just trying to understand.

Frummies complain about their maids is a lot of hard work.

2007-03-09T16:32:00.000-05:00

Its that time of year again for Pesach cleaning. Or the time of year when all the frummies in flatbush get to dig deep in their wallets and underpay their cleaning ladies named Luba and Olga. The best part is when their having their daily mid week lunch at some local cafe, while their husbands hard at work, get to bitch to their other stay-at-home moms about how much work it is. I can see how much work it is to hire some immigrant and do the dirty work for you. Its also interesting to note that I constantly hear them complain more frequent than the people who are actually getting down and scrubbing. Those who cant afford multiple cleaning ladies a few weeks before the holiday.

fed up with the frum dating scene - m4w

2007-03-08T15:21:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine recently sent me this craigslist posting by email. This guy hit the issue right on, and now i fear that can be me in a couple years.

I am already in my 30's.I am an honest and good-looking guy with a bright future.I have not even been on a date in over 2 years.The shadchanim dont return phone calls.The community looks down at you if you try to meet people on your own,then they call you a bum and smear your reputation.
But what is a person supposed to do.... I have been waiting for years for the shadchanim to call me back...... First they say... call me after Rosh Hashana.... after Rosh Hashana I call and they say they are busy getting ready for Sukkos..... same thing when Chanukah comes around.....then purim.....This week a shadchan called me crazy when I called her less that a month before Passover.Could you imagine what would happen if a shadchan brought her sick child to the doctor and the doctor said "sorry I cant help you because its 3 weeks before pesach and I have lots of cleaning to do". There would be an uproar. I am tired of the excuses.
Being an Orthodox Jew is like being a member in a club.You pay your membership dues (living a life of torah and mitzvos and giving tzedokah) and then you are supposed to get benefits (community support,aliyahs on shabbos,help with shidduchim) I feel like I am being asked to pay my dues, but when I ask for services I am shut out and treated like an animal.

It is my goal in life to be married and raise children in a healthy structured environment.I feel that when I tell this to people, they laugh at me.All the married men say "believe me young man, you dont want to get married". If that is true then WHY ARE THEY MARRIED!!!! If it is so bad they should divorce their wives!Could you imagine if someone told you grapefruits taste horrible, but they still eat grapefruits? What hypocrits!
I have already brought my case to Hashem.I davened at the Kotel and at the kever of Reb Yonasson ben Uzziel.And guess what? My prayers have gone unanswered, just like my calls to the shadchanim. So ladies and gentlemen, I dont mean to be graphic, but if I want to have children I must do it before I start shooting blanks.So I decided it is time to widen the pool of prospective wives.
Here is the bottom line: If I dont have a date with a Jewish girl by Saturday night, then Sunday morning I will go to St. Patricks cathedral and convert to Christianity.This is not a craigslist frum ad parody, I am serious. Have a nice day!

Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/cas/290360130.html

my Purim in flatbush recap.

2007-03-06T15:52:00.000-05:00

So Purim went without a hoot in good ole Brooklyn, well sorta. No one harassed me for money, and i didn't get stuck in much traffic in flatbush . Well that can be also, because i hardly left my house during the day. That is my new solution to a stress less Purim; don't put yourself into a situation where a stressful situation may occur. I have also eliminated the mishloach manos contest, who can give the most to most people. Recently, i made a deal with all my friends, i don't give you and you dont give me and we'll call it a day. I just give the minimum amount for the mitzva and thats it. I made a quick stop on Purim for 20 minutes and that was all.
I also decided not to get drunk on Purim day, after some experiences of getting way sick from drinking too much wine. I did however drank some the night before, but it was all on mixed vodka drinks, where you dont get sick and vomit, like you would on wine. There was a funny instance which happened in the morning during laining, where the gabai of landaus shul started yelling at some random boro parker who began selling aliyahs. there was some pushing and shoving during the after affect. But eventually shul ended, and i was able to go back to my stress free day of Purim.

Happy purim

2007-03-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

Why do frummies likes talking with their hands?

2007-03-02T16:08:00.000-05:00

On the way home last night while riding the subway, I couldn't help but notice these 2 obvious looking religious girls talking in their normal whinnie voice. I have no idea what they were talking about and it didn't seem all that interesting enough for me to lean over to and take a listen. In fact, I had to stand back like 10 feet so they don't smack me with their hands. I got 4 hands 5 feet away from me waving all over the place. It seems to me a lot of frummie people have a thing for using their hands over excessively while talking, even if its not a very important conversation. How about paying more attention to the substance of the conversation, rather than the motion of your hands.

Im gonna attempt to do this tagging thing

2007-02-28T20:51:00.000-05:00

I guess i have been tagged by LakewookVentor So now im gonna try and tag Michelle and, hmm lets see. Socialworker/frustrated mom comments alot on my blog, so ill tag her. here goes nothing.

I hate purim in flatbush!

2007-02-28T15:03:00.000-05:00

Its that time of year again. The time when the “I don’t give a damn if I double parked my car blocking all traffic” people come and start distributing their mishloach manos. Not to mention those hundreds of collectors who stream all over Flatbush demanding you give over your life savings for their cause; hoping that your money is really going towards a decent cause, or any cause at all. I can be stuck on a typical side street and not move for 20 minutes, because the driver has to wait for their group. What chutzpa do I have to even request him to kindly circle around the block or find a place to pull over so I can get through? The 20’ comes into one huge parking lot noon time on purim. And the only day when it’s ok to act like an asshole, after all, people assume you’re probably drunk. Then the real you comes out. Awesome – can’t wait till Sunday!

Has the flatbush snobs all moved to the 30's?

2007-02-27T09:15:00.000-05:00

Has the 30’s become the new 20’s in Flatbush? Have the same obnoxious people from the 20’s integrated into the 30’s or is there a new breed of assholes? I used to go through the 20’s en route to the 30’s and dreading it. I used to never receive any form or greeting or even a nod of recognition that I just said good shabbos to you, or that I am in fact a human being; a human being who is not wearing an Armani suit and a black hat. Now it’s the reverse.

It had recently occurred to me that the 30’s are now worse than the 20’s. Maybe I just got so accustomed to their attitude I don’t even view it as assholeism. While walking in the area this weekend, I was pleasantly surprised of the good shabbos I was getting while walking in the 20’s. That all stopped once I reached Nostrand ave however. There was like a devil waiting there with a stop sign and diverting all the assholes into the thirties. Not one implication that I actually existed over there. Isn’t this the ‘new’ cool neighborhood where all the newly married folks are moving to where houses are under a million dollars? Someone suggested the idea that these people are the children of the 20’s. Then ill be damned to say that their children are now bigger snobs than their parents. Maybe it’s the proposition that the children will one day take over daddy’s business, then once they have enough money will move back into the twenties. The cycle of life, I see.

Clean up flatbush from all the garbage!

2007-02-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

I may not be the cleanest or neatest person around, but when I go outside I like the streets to be sorta cleaned. En route to the subway this morning while walking up on ave J, I see garbage scattered everywhere. I mean throughout the sidewalks and streets, I see boxes and open garbage bags leaking all sorts of gross stuff everywhere. Would it be too much to ask that I would like to walk around in a clean and fresh environment? Im not saying this purely the fault of frum people from Flatbush, but definitely a combination of the city, the store owners (most of whom are frum), and the pedestrians (again mostly frum) that walk them.

I remember like 3 years ago seeing signs on lamp posts promoting a campaign for ‘Beautify Brooklyn” or Flatbush, or something like that. It didn’t do much, but we need to do more. The area looks more like Measharim than Brooklyn. It’s as if people don’t care. The city has to provide more garbage cans or clean them out more frequently. The store owners have to know they can’t just dumb their crap where ever they feel like it. Everyday, I see the same glob of left over food smack in the middle of the sidewalk. Im ashamed to live in such a disgusting place; where people don’t care about their neighbors and the city. I am sure if I walk into many of these peoples homes, they’ll be spotless. It’s an extremely selfish mentality which they have to change.

If i can choose my own religion?

2007-02-22T16:23:00.000-05:00

Last week I asked briefly in one of my posts, if I was born a catholic would I do things according to that religion. I just want to explain a little more of the way my mind works. If I grew up another religion or even unorthodox, would I “find” my jewishness on my own? Would I learn on my own that this is the correct way of living and this I the right religion, while believing all others are false. I still have plenty of questions on the religion. The only reason why im a frum jew, is the way I was raised. I was only taught to be jewish, I was never taught any other way of living. My rebbeim and parents engrave this way of life without giving me any open mind. This is a very biased approach. Im not a self hating jew or thinking of becoming not frum. But it makes me wonder if I would have figured it on my own, would I be able to believe in it by myself. Would I be ok with all of the laws Judaism entails and believe in our belief system.

If I was born a catholic and had the ministers all teach their way of living, which is what I would’ve become. I am not jewish or frum by choice, it was the only way I was taught to be, which is how many religious families are. They teach their young ones about their religion, while leaving everything else out of the equation. If we had every being brought up with out any religion, then by a certain age we have some one try and sell them their religion, and this is way their going to live for the rest of their lives. How many do you think would choose Judaism? It’s a tough question, eh.

Getting stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel sucks!

2007-02-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

Has anyone car died on the highway twice in 1 year and cause major delays. This is the second time my car died on me on a major highway. The first time is a story in itself, getting stuck on the way to the Yankee-Met game on the exit ramp while getting off the grand central parkway with angry fans trying to get to the game. This past Sunday night it happened be smack in middle of the Lincoln Tunnel.
I entered the tunnel with a battery light on and airbag light on but prayed that i can at least make in to the city and ill worry about it then. Unfortunately, about halfway through, my car gave up all will to give me any gas and slowly went to a standstill. As i watch the car behind me in the right lane wait in frustration, he gave up and crossed the double white line as well as all the other cars behind him. I began calling AAA and telling them what happened, but midway through the call, i see lights behind me and a man exit the truck and come up to me in the left lane. Apparently the Port Authority has cameras in there and watch for shit like this to happen. I was wondering how he can walk like that in middle of the tunnel, i soon learn the emergency crew blocked off both lanes.
He asked me some questions and then tells me to put the car in neutral and hes going to push me out via the left lane. There is no worse feeling than watching all the cars pass you in the newly opened right lane with such anger. I made sure all of my windows were closed (last time i got ice cubes thrown at my car) and not look directly at them. I finally get pushed to the emergency garage right out side the tunnel and await further help. Getting stuck sucks.

Frummies and their bluetooth

2007-02-21T14:36:00.000-05:00

Im sick and tired of seeing these yashiva guys and frummies walking around with the bluetooth earpieces in their ear for no reason. Im ok if they were driving and needed their hand free, but now i see all the cool machers walking around flatbush with it as if their the hottest shit around. I can be eating at KD or J2 and be near a guy sitting down doing nothing, his hands are relaxing beside him, and yelling into this thing. It has come much more of fashion and social statement than the actual purpose of it. I just wanna grab it out of an ear and stamp on it while watching every piece fly out from under my shoe. yeh, thats what i'll do.

Why dont frum people put their pictures on facebook?

2007-02-20T14:21:00.000-05:00

Ok, I have to admit, I do have one of those facebook and myspace accounts. Mine also has some info and a brief profile as well as some pictures of me. But I noticed some people don’t include their pictures in their profile. So I wonder why people don’t include some pictures of themselves? Then, I noticed it’s more of the frum people, guys and girls alike, who don’t include their picture. Please help me understand this. Your real name is in there and either you want to reconvene with old or current friends or make some new ones. What are you afraid of; you don’t want to show you’re off your sexy good looks or maybe you’re too ashamed of your looks. You think if you include a picture of a teddy bear that will suffice, well, unless you really are a teddy bear. To me it sends off a very obnoxious attitude that they are better than everyone else and only the uncool people put up pictures.. If your dorky (or savvy) enough to have a profile up there, it wont kill you to put a picture up of yourself. Recently I became ‘friends’ with some one I met on a trip a while back and only knew me by my English name but remembered what I look like. But thankfully for my picture, he/she was able to remember who I was and put two and two together.

Frum firm gets busted in real estate scam

2007-02-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

So on the 11 a clock news on channel 7, they had a story about a real estate scam. And who else would the story be about? But a frum real estate firm, where every single person in the office was wearing a big fat velvet yalmuka or a long skirt from long island. I don’t know much about real estate or appraisals of properties, but im pretty sure what they were doing weren’t all that legal. You see this house, owned by black people may I add, was worth 400 thousand dollars and this frum firm told them it was only worth 325 thousand. Not only that, the firm promised to relinquish the mortgage which is not allowed from any bank. Regardless of the actual illegal fraud that was done against the poor people, it was done by very religious jews. I know theres bad apple in all walks of life, but are we not supposed to have higher moral and standards? Don’t call yourself frum if your going to do crap like this, it makes me look bad. Once again, I am embarrassed to be frum.
See for yourself - http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=local&id=5039349

Why do frum girls wear high heels in snow?

2007-02-14T11:59:00.000-05:00

Seriously, ladies. There is no such halacha women must always wear high heels, especially when when it is snowing and icy conditions. While waiting for my train this morning by the Ave J stop, I couldn't help but notice that many of these frum girls are wearing high heels today. I almost fell on my ass 10 times wearing completely normal flat shoes in this weather, how can these girls not fall and walk normal in those things. I'm sure these hunky Touro guys can wait to see you in regular shoes another day. I guess appearance is more important than safety to them.

What if everyone was super tall?

2007-02-12T15:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, I’ve been thinking again. You see, im not a super tall guy, nor am I a really short guy. I guess being about 5’7 would be a drop below average for a guy’s height. Of the single girls out there also, they can range from presumably about 5 feet to 6 feet, and yet, they are all looking for that 6 foot guy. Now, im sure this was discussed many times before and it is nothing new here but I still wonder about this. What exactly is going thru these girls mind that all these girls can aspire for something they don’t qualify for? I can understand why a tall girl would go after a tall guy, but how can a short girl be so choosy as not to go out with a guy who’s less than 6 feet. The reason I heard one time is because she is scared of having short kids down the road. Right, so if the taller girls are going after the tall guys and the shorter girls are also going after the tall guys, who are the regular height guys suppose to go out with. Yes, I understand it’s the girls right to choose what kind of guy she goes out with, but it’s not very realistic, is it. And yes I understand it’s not this way for all girls, bur for a lot of them it is. It’s interesting all these girls are thinking about the future of their kids, but not about the actual mate they going to havta marry one day.

My first critic of my blog deserves a posting!

2007-02-09T13:26:00.000-05:00

I like to dedicate today’s post to the wonderful anonymous user who chose to make themselves feel better by critiquing my blog with such a meaningless comment. Every one is free to disagree with me and comment about it. This is what I have to say about the comment.

First off, you chose to remain anonymous, either because you are worried, I, or some other bloggers may see all the flaws and lameness of your own blog. Or it can be because you don’t have a blog because you’re worried about people criticizing your writing.

I entertain myself pretty well with this blog. This blog seems to be a little microcosm of what goes on in your brain.

In case, you are new to blogging like me, allow me to explain why many people choose to blog. People use it as a tool to have a public diary of ones own life, and if other people choose to read it, so be it. This may mean they have their own personal views and opinions which not everyone may agree on, but many others may find interesting and entertaining.

You aren't funny. You are clearly witless.

Regardless of your opinion if you think whether some of my postings are funny or witty enough for you, some of them are not meant for humor. You comment in a posting which is serious and real, and individuals marriages are at stake because of religious matters. That is no laughing better. Although, many people do think many of my postings are funny.

You also seem some kind of axe to grind with the jewish yeshiva system and women in general

Again, if you have a disagreement with my views, you are free to disagree with me and state your valid points. There is no need to criticize the entire blog because of it. I stated valid points, where are yours? In addition, I don’t criticize; I question and try to get a better understanding of people. Unfortunately, the yeshiva system isn’t flawless, and I am quoting my personal opinions on what needs to be changed. As for the grind on women, I question specific groups of frum women, not women as a whole. Please be careful with what you write.

It also seems like you are obviously trying to copy another very popular blog but are failing miserably!

There are 30 million blogs out there, forgive me if some of them sound similar. And explain what you mean by failing miserably. This blog is 2 weeks old and I am getting hundreds of hits, some one is reading it and commenting; including yourself. Then again, people are to blog for themselves, not for others.

Yo women - dont even think about changing my religious life style

2007-02-08T16:30:00.000-05:00

You see my friends, recently a friend of mine married a girl who in my opinion is way more religious and yashivash than him. Now, ive been thinking, if that was me I would never put myself in a situation where im marrying a girl a lot more religious than me. It seems to me that this girl and many girls like her are willing to change their husbands in such a way to go all the way to the right, just like them. Before marriage, this guy was totally cool with not making minyan, not wearing black hat, watches tv and movies, and of course look at the good old untzious sites online. What changed? Now, there is no TV in his house, his wife tells him by to go to every single minyan with a black hat and makes sure hes there on time. What’s interesting about this is, this was the complete opposite of who he was a few months ago.
Now, I would never go for such a life change like that. There is one thing being ‘whipped’ by your wife in the secular world, and then there’s another thing to have your wife change your whole religious views altogether. I don’t know if I should give him credit for putting up with this new yashivash life style because he knew exactly what he was marrying, or the lack of credit for not being man enough to tell his wife where he stands religiously. How can one have a spouse change you like that over night? But he seems to be totally cool with it (from my eyes) without any objections to all this change, so I wish them a healthy marriage.

What the F*&% inspires you

2007-02-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

Can someone please explain me this one. What does it mean to be inspired by Judaism? More importantly, why would a girl ask a friend/ chavrusa of mine (once in a while im a good jew and learn) this kind of question? I would really like to hear her views on this matter. I would like her to send me a detailed 30 page thesis explaining what it is about our religion that truly inspires her. I think Judaism is a pretty cool religion. If I was born a catholic, would I be equally inspired by the religion I was born up with? This topic is too complex as it is and probably deserves its posting, but certainly not a question I want my potential mate asking. The same girl who states that learning Mishna berura is not considered learning, she wants to go out with a guy who can make wicked ass laining in gemarah. I would like to know what exactly she is learning. How is she contributing to the jewish religion. Does she say 5 paragraphs of tehilem on the train while staring at all the guys? That doesn’t count.
Ok, so I take it she is probably way to frum for me and is looking for a super religious guy, im fine with that. But, I am told she has 2 earrings in one ear. What is up with that? Am I crazy for thinking that this girl is totally confused? They seriously have to realize they can’t look for something beyond their reach. Why would a gemarah, white shirt kind of guy go out with a girl like that? Those guys will certainly be turned off by the not so halachkly correct of having 2 earrings. Anyone have any ideas?

Jesus wont save me from the wind

2007-02-06T14:56:00.000-05:00

Call me a pussy, but I get scared easily during the night. The other night, with the howling wind constantly blowing against my window and hearing sounds of flying garbage cans outside, can creep me out a bit and a feeling like someone wants to break in my house or something. So the next day when I thought ill tell over this tale to a black Evangelical Christian co worker who sits next to me. But I should have known what her response will be, as every time I have had any kind of conversations with her, they always end off with Jesus being the savior of mankind.

You see, this has nothing to do my belief. I may not be the most loyal Jew but I don’t instigate my religion on anyone nor do I have any interest in other religions. She tells me the only thing I should fear is g-d and the messiah. Ok, so I fear g-d (not so much the messiah part), but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t automatically fear anything else, its human nature. I am afraid of a lot of things in life. I told her if you’re such a believer that nothing will ever happen to you as long as you believe, why don’t you leave your doors totally unlocked in a neighborhood like Harlem and let me know what happens. This isn’t the first time she brought Jesus on me.

One time, she thinks she came up with this brilliant argument, “if there’s something amazing which you know is the correct way of living, don’t you wanna share it with everyone else”. What dumb ass argument is that? Just because I like sesame chicken, does that give me the right to shove it in your face and make you like it?

This posting may not have anything to do with frumminess, but just to show just because im ‘notsofrummie’, don’t mean ill be crossing to the other side so soon, especially, not from a person with such crappy arguments like that.

The West Side Snobs

2007-02-05T14:23:00.000-05:00

In addition, so far on my blog, I’ve been bashing the more frum people for being overly obnoxious, but I'd like to share my hatred with the not so frum people as well. Im sure many people are aware of this and this is nothing new to them, especially to those that live there.

Although it’s been a while since I was on the upper west side, I can still smell the cologne and perfume from the Friday night davending at the OZ. It could also be that I had a very negative experience over there, as not to go back as often as a single guy should. The only time I was there, when the weather was somewhat warmer than it is now, I remember the after shul social affair, where every one dresses up in their best over priced suit and their Elmer’s glue hair, and their pointy European style shoes. And if that didn’t make feel alone and out of place with my average priced suit and tie, then we have the cliques. Its not that I can’t dress that way and look super preppy, but what is the point. Someone I know thru an acquaintance told me “don’t you know where you are; you should’ve came much more dressed up”. Wtf?

It kind of felt like high school with all of cliques, being the unpopular one and feeling left out. I only knew 2 or 3 people there, but that’s not nearly enough to get by. Its not like you’re in an out of town shul and if someone doesn’t recognize you, they invite you over for a meal. What if I didn’t have a meal, would anyone be so kind and ask me. Well, I did have a meal at one of those ‘young professionals’, they should rename it ‘under 50 – your still considered young’, and naturally I was the youngest one there by at least 10 years and the only one not making over 150,000 dollars annually, and being completely separated from my buddies, I sucked it up How ever awkward it wasn’t the worst situation I was in, but still uncomfortable. The rest of the shabbos, I tried not to venture out to any more of these west side gatherings and meet anymore west side people, cause they are clearly not my style. I shall move on with my life.
I know some of you will respond that not everyone is like that out there, but from my experience, a large majority are.

Fat frum kids are everywhere - put down the shnitzel!

2007-02-02T11:46:00.000-05:00

I have many fears in life, as im sure many people have, but one in particular is a fear of having fat children. I look around and all I see are fat kids every where. They are taking over every where; the schools, the fast food joints, the ice cream shops, etc. you get my drift. But, I want to have skinny kids that remain skinny for their whole life and not give up at age 10 because of laziness and lack of a healthy diet, but as you all know in this day and age and obesity rate sky rocketing across the nation, chances are of my child remaining slim is much slimmer what it used to be.
Now, you may ask what does frumness play a role in this fat factor. Well, these kids sit in their ass’s all day in class until the wee hours of the afternoon and evening, hours after a normal public school lets out. So, by the time they get home, they then sit on their fat ass eating and doing Homework and maybe watch some TV. You see, public school kids get out so much earlier, so they can actually pick up an activity to run around for a few hours before assuming position on their couch. I remember back in HS, I would get up at 6 am and not be home till 10 at night. Yes, we have recess, but some are too lazy to play sports and that’s only for like 10 min. where’s my soccer practice or varsity football teams? Yeshiva leaves no time between learning and more learning for kids to be more active in sports.
One would think in this day and age with obesity on the rise, yeshivas would require much more exercise. I feel an hour or two a day in school or after-school daily is needed . Because of the lack of a regular gym class at yeshivas, I will require my kids to jog with me every night a mile around a track, once then will I allow my child to play his/her Xbox and watch tube, even maybe their Homework. This is my view. Till next time.

Frummie sex forum - score!

2007-02-01T11:48:00.000-05:00

I was recently introduced to this website by a friend of mine and i thought ill share it with my readers, if you have not heard it of yet. (I apologize if this was already covered in another blog, but to my googling, it was not). This got to the the most entertaining website since, porn, well maybe not that much. In the 'forum' section of this website, CalmKallahs.com, is the frummie style of loveline with all of their sex questions with the halachic twist. Although, there is a disclaimer saying 'one must be married or be engaged to be married and is chassan/kallah class, there is nothing else stopping me to read their brilliant questions and conversations which is taking place in there. Be warned, it is very explicit. I have been spending way to much on there, but i just cant stop reading it. Arguments in there can range from whether it is really assur to go 'down' a woman, or wives complaining there yashivish husbands spend to much time learning and not enough time having sex. Again, you are warned of this explicit content. go nuts.

Lets Go Back to Arranged Marriages

2007-01-31T16:12:00.000-05:00

I am probably the only one who thinks this, but this may be the only solution to the problem we are having in frum NY community. Allow me to explain. We are leaving the choice on who their children are to marry whom they themselves are seeking the best qualities out there. which in many instances are ending up with nothing. What happened to the 'marry this person and work it out later' theory. Every one will be forced to have these arranged wives and learn to like them for who they are and all that bull shit. Plus, i have faith in my parents that they will get me the hottest chic out there and the other positive character traits I am looking for, they have pretty good taste in woman and know what i like. Down with with girls who are looking for the Lawyer type and learns by daf yomi every morning. its not that i cant find a girl on my own, but every girl out there is the same frigin way and want the same exact guy. Not many guys i know out there fit their criteria. Im not going to law school just so a girl will actually be interesting in me more. Arranged wives will have to suck it up with their regular middle income hubbie for the rest of their lives. Now, who's with me.

Frum highway moochers deserve to crash

2007-01-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

Ok, so maybe my title is a bit too mean and extreme. maybe just enough of a chrash with out resulting any fatalities or injuries will teach them a lesson. and what lesson is this? Is thinking just because im a frum guy with a yalmuka on, will I be nice to a fellow yalmuka or sheital wearing jew on the highways of NYC. This didnt happend recently, but reminded me of an incident while driving on the FDR the other night right by the brooklyn bridge entrance ramp. Now, i regrettably admit of mooching from the middle lane to the right exit only lane on the highway, but i try and to avoid doing so at all costs. But never do i base my cutting into a lane based on their frumness. This happend more than once, where a frum person shoots thru the traffic-free lane, then towards the end, they start browsing car to car near the entrance of the exit lane looking for the frum victim and who will be so kind as to let them in. 'After all we both frum', right? no! they must wait in traffic for the 25 minuntes just like everyone else who has places to be and if you must mooch, just do it based on your abilites of doing so, not on their yalmuka.

'out of towner' date recap

2007-01-29T11:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, So I'm a little new with going out with girls from outside of the NYC area. Although, i always wanted to go out with them, as they are know to be a lot more normal than the local girls Ive been going out with since the beginning of dating, but i was never sure exactly how they are suppose to work. So, this weekend i finally went out with a girl from 3 1/2 hrs out of NY (gonna try and be as vague as I try not to reveal too much detail). What is good about this, is that the girl was so kind to come in for a really quick weekend trip with 1 available night for a date, but she claims she was here to visit some relatives. Regardless, i would never travel more than an hour for a date.
Now, I went into this date with this frame of mind, as i am sure she did also. This needs to be a really awesome date for this to actually work out. I ain't driving out there while she ain't coming back if its not worth while and chances of that happening isn't all that great. Like an OK date will not suffice. Which was exactly like that. I sure as hell not driving out there, but if she lived locally i would've for sure go out again, but have no idea if that what she was thinking. And i guess I'm not worth another 7 hr drive. Please tell me, how do people who drive in for dates rationalize a need for continuing on for a 2nd or 3rd date and etc.

Sex talk amongst married guys is just wrong

2007-01-26T10:42:00.001-05:00

Speaking publicly about your sex life is always wrong in my book. But these discussions i keep on having to listen to, took another step further, and these are ex-yeshiva guys we are talking about here. You see, last night at the party i was at their wives were there, so their conversation was a bit tamer. When their wives aren't present, all hell breaks loose. They can bring up, whos wife is the hottest and who the best lover. I mean, seriously? they are talking about doing each others wife as if their talking about which team is gonna win the Superbowl. Conversations have even gone do doing a three some. what would their wives do if they find out about this talk. Some of these ex-yeshiva guys have kids. when i get married, i wanna keep my sex life as private as i can, and i hope i never compare her to anothers friends wife and that if there was a wife at the table ill do so and so's wife. its just wrong. I can think alot of sexual fantasies, but thats as far as one should go, not to the husband of this hot wife.

P.S thanks for all encouraging feedback regarding me not getting many comments. I got myself a sitemeter to measure the hits as well as trying to post as many other blogs as possibly can.

2007-01-26T10:42:00.000-05:00

I like Beer and Girls (in no particular order)

2007-01-25T14:48:00.000-05:00

Although I have an average of a half a comment per post I put up, I will not be discouraged and slack off in writing my blog. Im sure one day, people will type in the relevant tags and view the brilliance I put into this, or lack thereof. So, I said something on dating and TV yesterday, I just wanted to mention about the places which I go to and do there might be looked upon as not a ‘jewishy date’, but it boils down to this; I like beer. Well, any alcohol as long its not straight hard liquor. Now, this may be at some nice grungy bar place and all I want that night is down a pint or 2 of beer or a glass or 2 of vodka and cranberries. Im not downing shots of tequila here, im being within means. I find it very chilling. It also shows the level of ‘chillin’ the girl possesses. If shes totally cool with it, that’s my kinda girl. So, say hello to moore beeer.

A date or TV

2007-01-24T12:02:00.000-05:00

So, having arranged a date for this coming weekend, i just like to remind myself of my priorities and decision making when dating a girl. This current girl claims to want a guy who wants a TV and movie kinda guy. Im more than down with that, but ive been told that many times before. I keep on hearing she wants a TV in the house and wants to watch movies, but then when i actually go out with them, their view seems to differ than what was told to me by the shadchan. One claims she watches now, but once kids come along, say good bye to all TV. When i say, i want a TV, i mean long term. I mean i wanna be lying on my death bed still holding my tube. Its not that TV is alot more important to me than a girl, but after a long day of work i like to sit down and not talk to anyone while I just stare and watch the TV. I dont know about you but i cant talk for hours on end, i get tired and loose focus. I can talk briefly, then mouth and mind needs some relaxation. In addition to the bull shit Nidah laws where you cant have sex half the month, what else are we suppose to do. I forgot to mention, if a girl says no to TV now, who knows what she gonna ban next and what shes gonna be strict about next. So, you see its not all about the idiot box in debate here, its all what it represents. And no, watching DVD's on ones laptop doesn't count. Am i the only one who thinks this way?

i deserve a seat on my train

2007-01-23T22:51:00.000-05:00

This has nothing to do with frumness or anything Jewish, just a rant. Being a law abiding and tax paying citizen, after a long day of work I would like to relax in a seat on the train. Rather, not being barely knocked over on the train by an illegal immigrant from behind so she can get the seat before me. But excuse me, the MTA is funded majorly by government dollars, my tax money so that we can get travel to and from work in NY (at least the tourists are pouring in billion of dollars into the economy and have a lot more respect when entering the train). Don't I have so much more right to a seat after a day of work than someone who jumps the border and don't pay taxes. I'm all for them coming here and living the American dream, but remember who's paying taxes and who's country their living in.

frummie wedding recap

2007-01-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

So now i know im not the only one reading my own blog, i can continue writing in it. Despite 1 (half my total comments) was the blog feed moderator from the feed i joined. I still cant figure that part out. i have no idea if im registered with jrant yet or not. hmm. anywhom, ive been to enough weddings in my life to know what expect, so i was not surprised with this one. Naturally, they had the 'its ok to see the girls at the shmorg but not ok to watch them eat there. But that issue has been overly covered im sure by every other blog and jewish tabloids. Then people wonder why the singles are so unsociable to the other sex. Im sure if you give them opportunities to develop experience in it they wouldnt feel so awkward. Their almost alien-like until they havta marry the opposite sex, then they some how make it work and be happy. another thing i noticed, all the girls are wearing the tightest skankiest outfit to these weddings. i have no problem with that, but then you got the guys with black hats all starring (during the chupa and shmorg of course). these double standards are killing me.

frum weddings suck

2007-01-22T15:17:00.000-05:00

So now that I currently have access to the Internet from work, i can update my blog much more often and periodically throughout the day. I'm gonna try and keep them short and to the point. Ive seen some blogs as long as essays, and loose focus halfway through. This one I'm gonna focus on the frum weddings, the brooklyny style weddings and the obnoxious people that attend. where people come dressed up as everyone is better looking and fancier than everyone else. Some look like they have spent more money on make up and their gown then their down payment. i have a wedding later tonight, which i feel is gonna be another one of these typical weddings. How much make up do these married woman havta apply to their face. what are the husbands thinking of their wives doin this. Who are they attracting? And the men, why do they havta wear those expensive looking suits while clicking on their blackberries during the chupa? who are they trying to impress. Makes you wonder?

My View

2007-01-18T23:21:00.000-05:00

So, this my first posting on this blog, or any blog for that matter. So I hope my opinions, as time goes on, become more outspoken and entertaining for the reader. I am no writer of any sort, so my grammar, spelling, and general coherency will probably be out of whack. But i am sure you will get what you need to know through my words. My college professor and English teachers can do it, so can you. That said, here is my general view of the frum world we live in. We are run by a select group of older rabbis who are old school, and who i may add commit plenty of wrongdoings of their own kind, and they are the ones who decide whats best for us. Next we have the Brooklyn mentality of having no respect for others and a feeling of superiority. One would think with all that Torah in their head, some good may actually come of it, well apparently not. Then we have the brooklyn jew girls, no matter ugly or fat, educated or not, deserving or not, going after the 1 nice tall good looking hotshot lawyer guy, and expect nothing less. i will go into greater details and stories as i think of them and as i continue this blog, but for not ill leave it as that. Am i the only one who thinks this way, are there others, i would love to hear your opinions..